Listen free for 30 days
-
Bite Me
- A Love Story
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wish list failed.
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Buy Now for $29.13
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
You may also enjoy...
-
Bloodsucking Fiends
- A Love Story
- Written by: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A striking red-head, 20-something Jody is attacked and transformed into a vampire while walking home one night in downtown San Francisco. Befriending 19-year-old Tommy, Jody tries to understand her new undead life, but trouble finds her when the cops start suspecting Tommy of being a local bloodsucking serial killer.
-
-
Gets better in the second half
- By Maggie Reid on 2019-06-01
Written by: Christopher Moore
-
Noir
- A Novel
- Written by: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It's not every afternoon that an enigmatic, comely blonde named Stilton (like the cheese) walks into the scruffy gin joint where Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin tends bar. It's love at first sight, but before Sammy can make his move, an air force general named Remy arrives with some urgent business. 'Cause when you need something done, Sammy is the guy to go to; he's got the connections on the street.
-
-
Great story, ok voice acting
- By Adam Watkins on 2018-06-07
Written by: Christopher Moore
-
A Dirty Job
- Written by: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Fisher Stevens
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
People start dropping dead around Charlie, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death.
-
-
unfortunate
- By Sierra on 2018-11-22
Written by: Christopher Moore
-
Razzmatazz
- A Novel
- Written by: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
San Francisco, 1947. Bartender Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin and the rest of the Cookie’s Coffee Irregulars—a ragtag bunch of working mugs last seen in Noir—are on the hustle: they’re trying to open a driving school; shanghai an abusive Swedish stevedore; get Mable, the local madam, and her girls to a Christmas party at the State Hospital without alerting the overzealous head of the S.F.P.D. vice squad.
-
-
Delicious sequel, did not want it to end!
- By Kathryn Thurber on 2023-11-06
Written by: Christopher Moore
-
Fluke
- Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings
- Written by: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Bill Irwin
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Just why do humpback whales sing? That's the question that has marine behavioral biologist Nate Quinn and his crew poking, charting, recording, and photographing very big, wet, gray marine mammals - until the extraordinary day when a whale lifts its tail into the air to display a cryptic message spelled out in foot-high letters: Bite Me.
-
-
Reading too monotone
- By mabel on 2023-03-19
Written by: Christopher Moore
-
Fool
- A Novel
- Written by: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Euan Morton
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Pocket has been Lear's cherished fool for years. So naturally Pocket is at his brainless, elderly liege's side when Lear demands that his kids swear to him their undying love and devotion. Of course Goneril and Regan are only too happy to brownnose Dad. But Cordelia believes that her father's request is kind of...well...stupid, and her blunt honesty ends up costing her her rightful share of the kingdom and earns her a banishment to boot.
-
-
Not my Favorite
- By Amazon Customer on 2020-09-02
Written by: Christopher Moore
-
Bloodsucking Fiends
- A Love Story
- Written by: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A striking red-head, 20-something Jody is attacked and transformed into a vampire while walking home one night in downtown San Francisco. Befriending 19-year-old Tommy, Jody tries to understand her new undead life, but trouble finds her when the cops start suspecting Tommy of being a local bloodsucking serial killer.
-
-
Gets better in the second half
- By Maggie Reid on 2019-06-01
Written by: Christopher Moore
-
Noir
- A Novel
- Written by: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It's not every afternoon that an enigmatic, comely blonde named Stilton (like the cheese) walks into the scruffy gin joint where Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin tends bar. It's love at first sight, but before Sammy can make his move, an air force general named Remy arrives with some urgent business. 'Cause when you need something done, Sammy is the guy to go to; he's got the connections on the street.
-
-
Great story, ok voice acting
- By Adam Watkins on 2018-06-07
Written by: Christopher Moore
-
A Dirty Job
- Written by: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Fisher Stevens
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
People start dropping dead around Charlie, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death.
-
-
unfortunate
- By Sierra on 2018-11-22
Written by: Christopher Moore
-
Razzmatazz
- A Novel
- Written by: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
San Francisco, 1947. Bartender Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin and the rest of the Cookie’s Coffee Irregulars—a ragtag bunch of working mugs last seen in Noir—are on the hustle: they’re trying to open a driving school; shanghai an abusive Swedish stevedore; get Mable, the local madam, and her girls to a Christmas party at the State Hospital without alerting the overzealous head of the S.F.P.D. vice squad.
-
-
Delicious sequel, did not want it to end!
- By Kathryn Thurber on 2023-11-06
Written by: Christopher Moore
-
Fluke
- Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings
- Written by: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Bill Irwin
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Just why do humpback whales sing? That's the question that has marine behavioral biologist Nate Quinn and his crew poking, charting, recording, and photographing very big, wet, gray marine mammals - until the extraordinary day when a whale lifts its tail into the air to display a cryptic message spelled out in foot-high letters: Bite Me.
-
-
Reading too monotone
- By mabel on 2023-03-19
Written by: Christopher Moore
-
Fool
- A Novel
- Written by: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Euan Morton
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Pocket has been Lear's cherished fool for years. So naturally Pocket is at his brainless, elderly liege's side when Lear demands that his kids swear to him their undying love and devotion. Of course Goneril and Regan are only too happy to brownnose Dad. But Cordelia believes that her father's request is kind of...well...stupid, and her blunt honesty ends up costing her her rightful share of the kingdom and earns her a banishment to boot.
-
-
Not my Favorite
- By Amazon Customer on 2020-09-02
Written by: Christopher Moore
Publisher's Summary
"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup.
"‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a blood sucking fiend, too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non."
Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.
What the critics say
More from the same
Author:
Narrator:
Love Books? You'll Love Audible.
Transform your day
Replace endless scrolling with endless listening. Chores can be fun.
Listen everywhere
Download titles to listen offline, wherever you are in the world.
Carry your entire Library
Your stories go where you go. Audiobooks don’t weigh a thing.
Listen and learn
Discover stories that can change your mind, your well-being, and your life.
Reach your reading goals
You can’t turn pages while you drive—but you can press play.
Find your niche
WIth thousands of titles to explore, there’s something for everyone.
What listeners say about Bite Me
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Bookchick
- 2021-08-30
Danger: use caution while listening
This book (all three books, in fact) is so funny and performed to such hilarious perfection that you laugh really, really hard and could get into an accident while driving, or drop a weight on some unfortunate part of your anatomy at the gym. The up side is laughing hysterically for no apparent reason while on public transit will usually clear some physical distance around you pretty quickly, and probably get you an empty seat in the wake of the “get away from the crazy person” exodus.
You may also experience side effects like tears streaming down your face, the need to stop dead while walking to bend over with laughter, the sudden onset of starting each sentence which sounds like a question? with “Kayso” and referring to significant others as “love monkey”.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Customer
- 2023-01-16
Good story, voicing can be annoying
The narrator's voice characterization of the main girl in the story, while probably accurate to character, was annoying to listen to and made it difficult to finish. Another good story by Moore, and if you can get past Abby's "voice", this is fun.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!