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How to Know a Person
- The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
- Narrated by: David Brooks
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
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Publisher's Summary
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain
As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”
And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to?
Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and his determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and from the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.
The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them, and in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.
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Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Beconan
- 2023-12-05
Listen more and talk less
I like the wisdom we we can learn as we grow more mature Very important topic in a divided world Hopefully many people will read and learn
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- Kfreeont
- 2024-02-23
A Warm Guiding Probe
I loved how this book provided so many stories and examples that I could not help but see myself in my entirety.
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- Anonymous User
- 2024-04-29
Good overview in (mostly) plain language
A thoughtful reflection on the application of behavioral techniques to build stronger relationships, applicable in a post-Covid context. Some good anecdotes and insights into the intersection of social capital, politics, and civic and social trust. I am impressed at how the author mostly stayed away from weighted terms like "empathy" but worked in the concepts even so.
I found the work to be a bit light on peer reviewed research (which is something I tend to look for in volumes like this) but having read a lot of the cannon, in my view the book offers a reasoned interpretation, in most cases. It might benefit from further exploration of the techniques and practices around attachment theory and the processing of difficult or traumatic memories and how that can impact interactions and relationships in ways different than the framework offered here.
All told, would read again.
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- Sota Okano
- 2023-12-23
This is thought-provoking
As being born and raised in non-Western culture, I could not agree more with the message of this book. In 2022, I came to Canada. Since then, I have felt like conversations are exhausting here because it looks like everyone looks for a chance to jump in and take over the conversation. As a non-native English speaker, it is hard not to be taken over, and I am like "why are you rushing into your conclusion so desperately? Can't we just savor a little chat?"
If you feel the same way, this book offers you a way to listen to a desperate speaker so that we can find a space to re-think "where we are actually heading?" Yes, you are right. You've got to give first. You can't turn a speaker into a listener, but you will find yourself more relaxed because you will no longer look for a speaking opportunity, but a chance to look into a person in depth.
Writing this review, I would really want to recommend this book to anyone!
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- Ashiq Chowdhury
- 2024-03-18
Great book on people
Liked the narrative and flow of the book. Very insightful! I would recommend this to all who are struggling to connect with others. Overall, a very well written and informative book on people.
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- Hazel
- 2024-03-27
A must read
Absolutely love the writing. Highly recommend this important book. Thank you so much David Brooks.
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- Elizabeth
- 2023-11-28
Honesty
Well researched, illuminating information written with tremendous compassion. Thank you for sharing your wisdom journey.
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- JDesormeaux
- 2024-01-07
Outstanding
I have ordered the book and the workbook. Highly recommend this book to all manner of people
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- Amie
- 2024-04-01
This book has good information, people with BPD beware.
What bothers me is that this book could be so good for people with borderline personality disorder to read in order to help them. Except that the author spends a bit of time casually dunking on people with BPD as if the disorder is a monolith and as if managed BPD doesn't exist and isn't possible.
Makes it hard to suggest it to others.
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