The number one way to tank the holidays for your family isn’t burnt rolls, forgotten gifts, or a crooked tree. It’s walking into every room wound tight, resentful, and pretending your energy isn’t affecting anyone.

In this episode, Chelsea and Mike break down what kids actually remember about the holidays (hint: not the matching pajamas) and why your nervous system becomes the emotional backdrop of the season. Drawing from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, Gottman’s research, and Polyvagal Theory, they explain how kids store emotional memories more deeply than the details of any event.

You’ll hear real-life stories, honest confessions, and simple tools to help you pause before you snap, breathe through triggers, and become more of a thermostat than a tornado.

Plus, they’ll walk you through practical ways to share the holiday mental load, so you’re not carrying 99% of the invisible prep while resenting everyone else.

If the holidays feel heavy, you’re not failing. You’re just carrying too much alone. Let’s change that.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why the emotional climate of the home matters more than perfect food, outfits, or décor

• How kids “remember” holidays in their bodies, not just with their minds

• What research from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, Gottman, and Polyvagal Theory tells us about stress, safety, and childhood memories

• The difference between being “yourself” and becoming an emotional tornado in a shared space

• Why moms especially feel pressure to “make it magical” and how that pressure slides into performance mode

• Common holiday nervous system triggers:

  • Family dynamics that make you feel like you’re 12 again

  • Financial strain and gift pressure

  • Schedules being completely off (bedtimes, routines, sugar, travel)

• A simple nervous system reset you can use in the bathroom, car, or closet in 20–30 seconds

• How to take a pause without abandoning the conversation or triggering your partner

• Using micro-plans and 5-minute check-ins to prevent 80% of holiday resentment

• How to share the load before you explode (including using a “mental load brain dump” list together)

• 10-Day Holiday Mental Load Series – short daily videos to help you regulate, set boundaries, and share the load this season.

• Holiday Mental Load Brain Dump / Template – get everything out of your head and into a shared plan with your partner.

• Our Current Offers for Expecting and New Parents – coaching, workshops, and resources at: postpartumtogether.com → “Current Offerings.”