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  • The Highly Sensitive Person in Love

  • Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You
  • Written by: Elaine N. Aron PhD
  • Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
  • Length: 10 hrs and 40 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (29 ratings)

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The Highly Sensitive Person in Love

Written by: Elaine N. Aron PhD
Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
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Publisher's Summary

Statistics show that 50 percent of what determines divorce is genetic temperament. And, if you are one of the 20 percent of people who are born highly sensitive, the risk of an unhappy relationship is especially high. Your finely tuned nervous system, which picks up on subtleties and reflects deeply, would be a romantic asset if both you and your partner understood you better. But without that understanding, your sensitivity is likely to be making your close relationships painful and complicated.

Based on Elaine N. Aron's groundbreaking research on temperament and intimacy, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love offers practical help for highly sensitive people seeking happier, healthier romantic relationships. From low-stress fighting to sensitive sexuality, the book offers a wealth of practical advice on making the most of all personality combinations. Complete with illuminating self-tests and the results of the first survey ever done on sex and temperament, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love will help you discover a better way of living and loving.

©2016 Elaine N. Aron, PhD (P)2017 Tantor

What the critics say

"Aron offers a fresh way of perceiving the diversity and complexity of human personality that will help readers better understand themselves, their partners and the dynamics of interaction." ( Publishers Weekly)

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

I Hope You're Ready to be Preached At.

The information in this book is no doubt correct. But along with the science we also get the author's personal opinions and worldview. Edit: There is a bit of pseudoscience mixed in with this science.

The fact that she constantly refers to the reader as "We," as in "we HSPs" Makes me feel like I ended up in some sort of weird special club and that the author has all the secrets to how it works. It also makes me feel like they lack the scientific distance and objectivity for this topic. Further it seems to actively invite the author to assume we have all suffered exactly like she and her clients have.

There is a reason why in academic writing we are encouraged not to use a personal pronoun. It's because you need a certain amount of scholarly distance from atopic in order to talk about it objectively. This constant use of "we" and seems to allow for the author to make certain assumptions and just assume that "we" are all nodding in agreement.

So I hope you like feminism, and suffer from gender stereotypes. I went through a feminist phase in high school so I know where she's coming from, but it is a little weird to have politics come up in a psychology book with the assumption ther no reader has other views. Consider the example she gives of a woman with an overbearing mother, and a father who always agreed with the mother's parenting. She later calls this same passive father "domineering" – within one sentence of each other! At least be consistent...

I also hope that your childhood was difficult because you're an HSP, and that you didn't accept yourself because you were too sensitive. That appears to be prescribed life path according to this book.

So, 4/5 for knowledge, narration is just fine. But wow 2/5 for writing this almost like an educational diary. Because the information is apparently accurate and useful, I will do my best to trudge through the otherwise irksome style this book uses. I just hope things get a little less chummy and a little more professional.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Life Changing

I wish this book had been around 20 years ago. It is essential reading for anyone struggling with sensitivity, and/or anxiety.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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need more practical exercises

Gives a lot of insight, but I found the focus to be too much theory and not enough practice advice on how to deal with my sensitivity to improve my relationship.

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Resonated with me

There were moments of this book that seemed like they were written especially for me. (I am an HSW-HSS). Beautiful work - if you are or think you might be an HSP this is a must-read.

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Very valuable book!

I feel like any person who wants to learn more about relationships needs to read this book. It’s about how to be in relationships, how to improve your relationships and yourself. It is a book of valuable life lessons. It helped me understand a lot of things about myself and my partner. I truly recommend.

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    2 out of 5 stars
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Limited concept of what an HSP is

I found parts of this hard to listen to, as HSPs seemed to be labeled as quiet extreme introverts, annoyed by “people who talk too much”. I have 4 HSPs in my family, and they are all unique….and able to carry on a conversation.

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