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When Good People Have Affairs

Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships
Auteur(s): Mira Kirshenbaum
Narrateur(s): Callie Beaulieu
Durée: 6 h et 28 min
5 out of 5 stars (2 évaluations)

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Description

A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of people caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair rocks their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She leads listeners through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity, and identifies 17 types of affairs, helping listeners figure out which type they're in and what it means. (Is it a "see-if" affair? Ejector-seat affair? Distraction affair? Unmet-needs affair? Panic affair?) Kirshenbaum encourages honest answers to such questions as:

  • What am I missing in my marriage?
  • How do I decide between two people when it's like comparing an apple to an orange?
  • How do I decide to end my marriage, end my affair, or end them both?

When Good People Have Affairs will be a lifeline to any man or woman who feels caught between two lovers, and its insights are indispensable to anyone else touched by an affair.

©2008 Mira Kirshenbaum (P)2017 Tantor

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Moyenne des évaluations de clients

Au global

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Histoire

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Trier :
  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars

an excellent guide for a difficult terrain

this book seems to be geared towards those who have been involved in an affair, but is also helpful if you're thinking about an affair and want to know more about the reasons that they happen. This author is very sympathetic to why people have affairs, though not condoning the behavior. She shows how you can escape the guilt and shame and learn from the experience and look at all your options. I thought it was well done.

Trier :
  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Marie
  • 2018-09-10

Action-oriented Book

This is the best relationship book that I've read, hands-down. Useful for explaining so much more than just the basics of affairs. If you want non-judgmental, sound analysis of behaviors and what next steps to take, listen/read this book. Quality, worth every penny!

3 personnes sur 3 ont trouvé cette évaluation pertinente

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Austin @ MSU
  • 2018-09-29

Digs Deep

While I don’t agree with every concept the author says, she presents truths that I didn’t get from many therapists and sources. I was amazed at the depth of knowledge that is so well expressed. Also, there is an implied autonomy for the reader, which is essential for a person’s growth. The author is not prescriptive.

2 personnes sur 2 ont trouvé cette évaluation pertinente

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Dr. Caroline Madden
  • 2019-06-07

How to Decide btwn your spouse and affair partner

I am a Marriage Family Therapist who specializes in helping marriages recover after affairs. I *highly* recommend this book to individuals who are struggling with the decision on whether or not to leave their spouse for their affair partner.

If you are deciding whether to leave your spouse for your affair partner this book is a MUST READ. Download it RIGHT NOW and prioritize reading it. The book sets out specific criteria for this important decision. If you follow the steps I believe that you will have resolution whether or not you should stay or go.

The title is a bit misleading. If you are the Betrayed Spouse this book will probably upset you because it explains how difficult it is for your spouse to chose you. If you are searching why your spouse cheated on you----find another book.

My one criticism is that it doesn't go into the long term damage that leaving your spouse for the person you cheated on will effect your children. It is not smooth sailing. Just because you are finally happy doesn't mean that your kids will be. It will be viewed that new partner "broke up the family" no matter how broken the marriage was before.

  • Au global
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Amazon Customer
  • 2019-06-03

Defends the perpetrator of the affair

defends the perpetrator of the affair and says they were just doing what they felt was best for everyone. Also says that they shouldn't tell the person they are betraying. This book is rubbish.

  • Au global
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • BrownGuy78
  • 2019-03-02

Valid point

I couldn't get with some of the points that she was saying especially when I interpreted a message to the cheater that you have a valid point for your affair. But, other points were made that I can get behind.

  • Au global
    4 out of 5 stars
  • GAC
  • 2019-01-08

Too bad I didn't have this book sooner

Some real good advice here. I was struggling for a few years. Unfortunately I made the wrong decision, if I had read this book during my struggle I would have made a different decision.

  • Au global
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    1 out of 5 stars
  • D S
  • 2018-11-03

Waste of money

Speaker comes across with an arrogant tone.

Toward the end of book mentions the “other” man or woman will also be hurting due to an ended affair and that needs to be taken into consideration. This is assuming the “other” man or woman didn’t know they were involved with a married person? The flip side is they knew they were involved with a married person and frankly their feelings shouldn’t matter

2 personnes sur 4 ont trouvé cette évaluation pertinente

  • Au global
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Summer Phillips
  • 2018-06-18

This book condones affairs

The writer says her husband had an emotional affair that lasted a very short time and then returned to her. The book goes on about what makes someone happy you can't live life on happiness per it is a fleeting emotion you can be happy one minute sad the next and happy again. It does not touch on the mind of a limerent who has dopamine levels so high in the brain it equates to being high on cocaine. During that limerent point there is no rationality at all. All relationships have problems and many times during an affair the Wayward Spouse will vilify the Betrayed to justify the actions of an Affair. Many times people return to their spouse and the Affair Partner is in utter shock per they were under the impression the spouse was terrible where in many cases that is not the truth. I don't recommend this if you are trying to save your marriage from an affair.

4 personnes sur 8 ont trouvé cette évaluation pertinente