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  • You're Not Listening

  • What You're Missing and Why It Matters
  • Written by: Kate Murphy
  • Narrated by: Kate Murphy
  • Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (102 ratings)

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You're Not Listening cover art

You're Not Listening

Written by: Kate Murphy
Narrated by: Kate Murphy
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Publisher's Summary

"How well we listen determines how we love, learn, and connect with one another, and in this moment when we need to hear and be heard more than ever, this thought-provoking and engaging book shows us how.” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)

At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation.

On social media, we shape our personal narratives.

At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians.

We’re not listening.

And no one is listening to us.

Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here.

In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that's full of practical advice, You're Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.

©2019 Kate Murphy (P)2019 Macmillan Audio

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What listeners say about You're Not Listening

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  • Amy
  • 2020-05-07

Will listen again

loved it.
informative, interesting.
glad the author read her book. it's usually my preference.
will dive into this more through Next Big Idea club who featured this book.

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well researched and narrated too

While many points are well known, her examples and connections help provide greater impact. I'm glad I purchased the audio version as it was very well narrated.

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Loved it!!

Add in the fact that we are are energy broadcasting and picking up the resonance or interference and this adds an even greater level of brilliance for the spiritually curious!!!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Enjoyed it immensely.

Easy listening great pace and with lots of examples and tips to help with improving listening skills.

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    5 out of 5 stars

Fantastic, insightful, and useful book

This book transformed how I socialize. Learning how many people practice empathy by reframing a conversation onto their own experiences when listened taught me not to do that, but to further inquire to show my empathy.

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  • MG
  • 2024-02-08

Valuable reflections. Well researched. Perfect.

After going through many other books on the topic of listening, I find this book to be the best organized, concise, but very powerful. The examples chosen are precise. Well presented, and her reflections on the topic is very rewarding. Worth the value. Worth reading more than once.

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Extremely valuable listen.

This audiobook was filled with valuable life lessons and intriguing points. I recommend it to anyone who knows they are not an active listener, or anyone who doesn’t know whether they are or not. I didn’t realize the impact that being a “bad” listener has on your entire life, as well as the lives of those closest to you. Murphy has opened my eyes to this issue - I feel like I have an entirely new perspective on my personal and professional life, as well as how I will parent my future children.

Murphy does a great job of narrating her own writings, in a structured and easy to follow way. This was a 10/10 for me in all aspects!

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Provoking

I bookmarked quite a few pieces of dialogue to share with my spouse that I hope will enlighten him on our idiosyncrasies. I found it succinct.

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A Great Challenge

This comprehensive work supplies encouragment and tools to help listen from science, folkknowledge, theology, philosophy and con-artists. Worth the listen, will help you listen better to whatever or whoever is important to you.

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The narrator (author) was boring :(

I was looking forward to the take-aways I'd hoped this book would offer, but the author/narrator was so hard to listen to, it's ironic because it's a book on listening...if you're interested I would suggest reading it and not listening to it.

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