Something in the Way

It was a hot summer day when I met him on the construction site next to my parents' house. Under the sweat and dirt, Manning Sutter was as handsome as the sun was bright. He was older, darker, experienced. I wore a smiley-face t-shirt and had never even been kissed. I was too young, he said. I would wait. But I'd learn that no matter what you achieve in life, it means nothing if you suffer the heartbreak that comes with falling for someone you can never have. Because even though I saw Manning first, that didn't matter. My older sister saw him next.

If I closed my eyes, I could still see them - all blonde sunshine, ocean-blue eyes, and long limbs. The glint of Lake's gold bracelet. Pink cotton candy on Tiffany's tongue. My scenery may have changed from heaven to hell, but some things never would: my struggle to do right by both sisters. To let Lake soar. To lift Tiffany up. The sacrifices I made for them, I made willingly. A better man would've walked away by now, but I never claimed to be any good. I only promised myself I'd keep enough distance. If I'd learned one thing from my past, it was that love came in different forms. 

It was a hot summer day when I met him on the construction site next to my parents' house. If I'd known then what I do now, would I have kept on walking? Manning was older, darker, experienced--and I'd trusted him when he said the story would only ever be about us. I'd held those words close and challenged fate, but I had lost. A part of me is still that sixteen-year-old girl squinting up at Manning, but no matter how far I fall or high I soar, I'll always be a bird without her bear and nothing without him.

Manning and I have what happily ever after is made of.... A home he built us on the unshakable foundation we fought for. A life of laughter carved out of heartache and betrayal. A love story to stand the test of time. But between a trust that can’t be broken, joy that can’t be bridled, and passion that would scorch the sun, the empty spaces are becoming more and more difficult to ignore.... Fears that keep Manning up at night as he slips from our bed. Our complicated relationship with a man he respects, and one I don't know how to forgive.