Epic Fantasy Humor

Gideon Sunday, an ex-semi-professional American Football player, goes to his pantry to retrieve an awful bottle of his (dead) sister's fruit preserves. When he gets there, he discovers a meadow in his pantry. He closes the door, takes a few breaths, and begins to investigate. Upon discovering that A) no one is playing a trick on him, B) there really IS a meadow in his cupboard, and C) there is something three-quarters of ugly coming out of it, he decides to beat a monster to death with a baseball bat.

The Battle of Brandsveid brought together every king and nobleman in the land in an epic struggle for the future of the Land of Dis, as the armies of the Six Kingdoms united against the monstrous army of Lord Brand. It was the event Vergil, a knight in the service of the Order of Avaress, had waited for his entire life. Unfortunately, he slept through it.

Yancy Lazarus is having a bad day: there's a bullet lodged in his butt cheek, his face looks like the site of a demolition derby, and he's been saran-wrapped to a banquet table. He never should have answered the phone. Stupid bleeding heart - helping others in his circles is a good way to die - just ask the gang members ripped to pieces by some kind of demonic nightmare in LA.

Marius dos Hellespont and his apprentice, Gerd, are professional looters of battlefields. When they stumble upon the corpse of the King of Scorby and Gerd is killed, Marius is mistaken for the monarch by one of the dead soldiers and is transported down to the Kingdom of the Dead. Just like the living citizens, the dead need a king - after all, the king is God’s representative, and someone needs to remind God where they are. And so it comes to pass that Marius is banished to the surface with one message: If he wants to recover his life he must find the dead king.

Bohdi Patel is keeping the revelation that he is Chaos incarnate a secret - and handling the revelation about as well as one would expect. He's in a downward spiral: losing his lease, totaling his car, and trying to keep everyone he cares about at arm's length. Veterinarian Amy Lewis is wondering what happened to the funny, flirty, curious Bohdi she knew in the land of the Norns. He's become moody and sometimes cruel. She is definitely glad that she didn't become romantically entangled with him...most of the time.

Set and written in 1726, This is a marvelously imaginative tale of the four voyages of Lemuel Gulliver. He finds himself shipwrecked and the prisoner of captors ranging in size from 6 inches tall to 60 feet tall and of various other persuasions. But this is just the beginning of a story written, strangely enough to satirize the foolishness and vices of modern men as they were perceived at the time. No one, young or old, can ever forget the Lilliputians and the Yahoos that starred in these wonderful and riveting stories of long ago.

The Minivandian is the warrior who values home and hearth. He finds the adventure in day-to-day activities. She is the barbarian queen who revels in every-day battles. These are their tales.

Fourteen year-old Daniel Harwick's powerless days bullied at Ekhart Academy are about to end. Traumatically catapulted into a beautiful but terrifying world within, Daniel finds himself on the run from Pirates, Dragons, Shapeshifters, Spider-Elves, Griffins, Krakens, Cyborgs and even "Death" himself. Reluctantly, Daniel joins with a strange band of ragtag warriors questing for the legendary Wielder who alone can defeat the spread of the Necrom Void across the Living Land.

Alcatraz Smedry ha derrotado al ejército de Bibliotecarios Malvados y ha logrado salvar el reino de Mokia.

Lo malo es que se las arregló para acabar con los Talentos de los Smedry en el proceso. Lo peor es que su padre está intentando llevar a cabo una treta que podría destruir el mundo, y su amiga Bastille está en coma. Para revivirla, Alcatraz debe infiltrarse en el Highbrary, la Biblioteca del Congreso de los Hushlanders, el lugar donde reside el poder de los Bibliotecarios Malvados.

A hopeful orphan. An incredible wizard. One boy must do the impossible to change his life forever...Ozel wonders if he'll ever escape his angry, fat caretaker. As the orphan hopes for a better future, a mysterious wizard gives him the gift of an apprenticeship and some unbelievable magic. But when Ozel discovers he's the lone heir to a massive fortune, he'll need more than a few spells to claim it.

Some call him the fat wizard, and others call him the portly prestidigitator. His name is Nor, and he prefers to be known as the Chubby Wizard. Along with his steadfast companions Bruce the bard and Kris the Elf-Kin, the Chubby Wizard protects Nydium from the most grave threats. When a manticore threatens the stability of the realm, the heroes set off to stop the foul beast from the Darklands. During their quest the group learns that the Chubby Wizard has unfortunate family ties and keep hearing about a mysterious wager.

Lenny Hodge is a young man with certain abilities - special talents that even he doesn't understand. It is only when he joins Terrifitemps (the temporary employment agency that secretly controls the world) and meets his new team - a psychic, a vampire, a ghost hunter, and a werevole (yes, a werevole) - that Lenny realizes how much his special talent will put him in jeopardy. But it's worth it, right? Hasn't Lenny always wanted to save the world?

Thirteen years ago Oliver's father died in a battle against Red Line, the nasty dragon that plagued Aardland. Oliver has since grown into a very large man with little ambition, earning him a new name: The Lump. When Flynn, a glory seeking adventurer, and Meena, a mysterious foreign girl, arrive with news that Red Line has stirred once again, the Lump finds himself reluctantly embroiled in a quest to defeat the dragon.

It's not easy being the youngest of seven sons in a family of notorious sorcerers, especially for Ayden Dracre. In a world where sorcerers only practice dark magic and wizards only practice light magic, Ayden has a problem; he is very bad at being bad. Try as he might, all of his spells to cause mayhem go awry. When he finds out that his family has had enough of his mistakes, he decides to take destiny into his own hands.

Things not to do when you find out you’re a wizard: 1. Do not destroy your apartment with magical fire. You WILL NOT get the security deposit back. 2. Do not form an alliance with the guy who is trying to murder you. This will end badly. 3. Do not drag the girl you’re desperately in love with into your wizard mess. You risk her watching you fail miserably. 4. Under no circumstances should you get in the middle of an epic magical battle. Death will happen. Lots of death and bad things.

Here collected for the first time are the thrilling and hopefully hilarious tales of the world's most embarrassed superhero. "Everyman" Race Harleson just wanted to do his guard shift and pick up his check - so the cosmos decided he'd get to be special, giving him Superman-like powers including strength, flight, and virtual invulnerability...so long as he's completely naked while he fights crime and saves the world.

A new epic fantasy novel from World Fantasy Award-winner author K. J. Parker, one of the most original voices in the genre. For more from K. J. Parker, check out: Saevus Corax Deals With the Dead Saevus Corax Captures the Castle Saevus Corax Gets Away with Murder Sixteen Ways to Defend a...

Join everyone's favourite three-headed ogre in their world-hopping, climactic, final adventure. After The War of the Dead, things could not have ended more bleakly for Og-Grim-Dog and the broken land of Gal'azu. But they'll still save their friends, save the world, complete a satisfying character arc, and tie up all the loose ends from the rest of the series...won't they?

Horror, Humor, and Heroes is a collection of twelve short stories, one novella, and a preview for my next novel that should contain enough variety to entertain you readers. Sample some of my finest offerings, such as - a guardian wolf fearing the coming of man, a producer willing to do anything to bring the first pay per view live werewolf hunt to the world, and a zombie running for congress.

Friend. Lovers. Blood kin. Humans. Beast kin. Enemies. Targets. At one time, humans and beast kin called each other friends. They weathered the bad times together and celebrated the good times. They even called one another blood brothers and sisters. They fought beside one another. Time has made these two groups forget their shared history - forget their past relationships. Now, instead of fighting beside one another, the lands at Selenus and Radal prepare to end their cease-fire and once again soak Dena in one another’s blood.