Humorous Adventure

Answers and vengeance are so close that Absalom Scryne can almost taste them. Perhaps if his consciousness had been transferred to a pair of shoes instead of a hat, he would've had the necessary tongue to do so . . . Having made it through the Badlands by the skin of his crooked yellow teeth, Ig the kobold celebrated the achievement by blowing everyone up. Now, separated from the unhygienic scalp of his apprentice, Absalom must navigate the pitch-black underworld.

A magical fantasy, an allegorical cautionary tale, a feast of language, a celebration of creativity - this dazzling debut novel is poised to become a story for the ages! Penelope is running out of time! She dreams of being a writer, but how can she pursue her passion when her strict, obsessive mother schedules every minute of her life? And how will she ever prove that writing is worthwhile if her mother keeps telling her to "get busy!" and "be more productive"?

Ryker Hayes is a licensed massage therapist, and a damn good one at that. It's a career he's passionate about, and all his plans for life are on track—until he winds up transported to the world of Werifesteria in the body of an infamous warlord, at least. Now all he really wants to do is forget the misdeeds of his alter ego and retire to a life of anonymity with a couple interesting women as his new partners. Together, they open the very first massage inn and spa in all the land, and take on all the responsibilities that come with it. Turns out, it's a lot of work!

Death is the first step on Jerry's path to ultimate power. Ostracized by his fellow villagers, hunted by bandits, and watched by the Royal Guard's least elite squad, Jerry is called to balance creating a lovely home with practicing his craft and unleashing death and destruction on his enemies. Unfortunately, taking it slow is not an option. Wizard supremacists tour the Kingdom, Archmages enact devious plans, and the world needs Jerry more than his village does. Adventure calls—death is overrated, anyway.

Glitches are appearing across the Minecraft server. Blocks are flickering unexpectedly and randomly disappearing. To make matters worse, villagers are claiming that their entire villages have mysteriously vanished, and they desperately need Gameknight999's help. What's causing the server to overload and glitch, and where have all the NPCs gone? The User-that-is-not-a-user suspects the two questions are related, and that somehow Herobrine's henchmen are responsible.

Here it is! The first novel in the brand new Myth Adventures Series by the authors of Liscence Invoked! Robert Asprin teams up with Jody Lynn Nye (Applied Mythology and Advanced Mythology) to bring you a brand new set of Myth Adventures with Skeeve, Aahz, Tanda, and the rest of the gang! Will be followed in 2004 by Myth-Taken Identity.

There's something spooky going on at the ranch! When Halloween arrives, Hank - the self-appointed Head of Ranch Security - has got his hands full of adventure. First there's a problem with the Tricker Trees. Then the ranch is invaded by two skeletons, a witch, and a pirate. And when Hank goes to investigate a strange sound in the cake house, he's sure it can only be one thing...a ghost. Can Hank rid the ranch of this unwanted visitor? Or is he destined to be spooked for good?

Best-selling author Berkeley Breathed is the Pulitzer Prize-winning creator of the Bloom County and Opus comics. His unmistakable sense of humor colors every moment of Flawed Dogs. Sam the dachshund is a show dog and Heidy’s best friend, until Heidy’s uncle kicks him out of the house. Befriending other strays, Sam plots his revenge for the Westminster Dog Show.

Jam-packed with potty humor, feats of bravery, and a metric buttload of monsters, Fart Quest by author Aaron Reynolds is perfect for every young hero looking for a wild adventure. After their masters are vaporized in a goblin battle gone bad, Fart, Pan, and Moxie—three lowly...

Walker Reed's magic grows with every passing day—and it hasn't gone unnoticed. When he alters his spirit to form a new entity known as the Book of Souls, he gains a deeper understanding of the system and accesses a whole host of unfamiliar skills and resources. But the previous System Administrator, Kwaya, has left a warning for him between the book's pages . . .

From the creator of Family Guy and director of Ted comes a hilarious first novel that reinvents the Western. Mild-mannered sheep farmer Albert Stark is fed up with the harsh life of the American frontier, where it seems everything and anything can kill you: Duels at high noon. Barroom brawls...

One fateful day Lucy is invited to study at the prestigious Overworld Academy. The academy offers her the opportunity to learn all of the secrets of the Overworld - and it's an opportunity she can't miss. She's sad to leave behind her friends, Henry and Max, but it's time for her to have an adventure on her own. At Overworld Academy she meets two new friends, Jane and Phoebe. Jane is an expert fighter, and Phoebe is a talented alchemist. With Lucy's own knack for treasure hunting, the trio makes an incredible team.

Ever wish you had a flying robot for a best friend? Wouldn't it be great to have a robot so big and powerful that nobody would ever mess with you again? Friendly robots can be fun! But with giant friends come giant responsibilities. In this book, the evil Victor Von Vulture and his army of Voodoo Vultures from Venus are about to take over planet Earth. Only the super-smart tricks of Ricky and his mighty robot can send the bad guys packing for home!

Following up on the classic children's novel The Saturdays, Elizabeth Enright continues the engaging tale of the Melendy family (Mona, Rush, Randy, Oliver, Father, and Cuffy, the housekeeper) and their move from an old brownstone in New York City to a charming house in the country. Called the Four-Story Mistake for its odd look and confused architectural history, the house offers the Melendys wonderful quirks and surprises.

This wasn't like Adam Cain—AKA: The Human for Hire. He wasn't supposed to be compassionate and caring. But for some reason, he'd taken the former Third-Generation Human John Martinez under his wing and was now determined to show him what the real Human race was all about. As a 3G, Martinez had been raised by the Klin to believe a completely false narrative about his native race. But having never been to Earth—and after only a few tragic encounters with other Humans—what was Martinez to believe?

Evil has arrived in the capital...and she's looking to go shopping. After a startling vision and an uninvited visit from a rival lich, Maud sets off for the city to prepare for war. Leaving a trail of deboned corpses in her wake, this simple country lich solves a few murders, commits a few more, and discovers along the way that some things are worth dying for. Again. Maud’s heart may have stopped beating long ago, but she is determined to live her new "life" to the fullest. Featuring necrotic crafting, neurotic knitting, two naughty crows, and one very haunted castle.

Five friends, gamers for life, have been stuck in their own campaign for months now, but the end is in sight! The vile Necrolord's plans are in motion, but an intrepid team of adventurers should be able to stop him. The question is: Can this team do it? Will Samo's newfound love of explosives be her undoing? Will Wyatt figure out how to win his genius wife's heart? Will Bourbon figure out how to deal with a smooth face? Will Falcon be the prince he needs to be? Will Melf, the bard, finally realize that not everything can be resolved through seduction?

When Sally May and Loper head out of town for a wedding, Hank the Cowdog, Head of Ranch Security, knows it's up to him to keep things under control. After subjecting strawberry ice cream to rigorous product testing, test-driving a mysterious spaceship, and thwarting a sneak attack from a couch monster, Hank faces the fight of his life.

Quentin Moss is an average 13-year-old boy with an anything-but-average problem: The cave boy he dreamed about last night has shown up, alive and smelly, in his bedroom. As past and present collide with comic consequences, Quentin must hide the secret identity of his new friend, who is fascinated by zippers and loves to flush the toilet - over and over again.

Hank was a dying breed on the space station Belvaille. The criminal gangs that had once made their homes there were forced out by the corporations that had taken over since the facility became an Independent Protectorate. Instead of the gentlemanly gang wars that had once dominated the scene, and made Hank's services prized as a negotiator, the city was now plagued by the clash of corporate armies using heavy weapons. Even tanks roamed the streets regularly.