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  • The Four Tendencies

  • The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)
  • Written by: Gretchen Rubin
  • Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
  • Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Release date: 2017-09-12
  • Language: English
  • Publisher: Random House Audio
  • 4.4 (11 ratings)

Regular price: CDN$ 32.93

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Publisher's Summary

Best-selling author Gretchen Rubin (The Happiness Project, Better Than Before) reveals the surprising truth about the four hidden personality types that drive everything we do. Learn how to understand yourself better - and also how to influence others more effectively.

©2017 Gretchen Rubin (P)2017 Random House Audio

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  • Jeremy
  • 2018-01-02

Must Read for understanding humans

there are two books everyone should read to better understand them selves and others. "how to win friends and influence people" and this book. Of all the books I've read those two have given me the most insight into the human psyche

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • John Beddoe
  • 2017-09-13

Listen to it right away! Amazing!

I recommend this book to anyone that has trouble understanding the motivations of others, especially if you are in healthcare or fitness. It will illuminate everyday choices in a way that will change your life.

12 of 12 people found this review helpful

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  • A. Yoshida
  • 2017-09-23

Useful to know 4 tendencies when dealing w/ people

If you're familiar with the book "Better Than Before" or the podcast "Happier with Gretchen Rubin," a lot of the information in this book isn't new except for the additional examples and techniques for dealing with the different tendency types. However, it still contains useful information. If you ask a person how they feel about new year's resolutions, these are the typical responses from the 4 tendencies:
* Upholder - Will make and keep new year's resolutions.
* Questioner - Think Jan. 1 is an arbitrary date. Will make and keep resolutions when they feel like it.
* Obliger - Stopped making new year's resolutions because they can't keep them.
* Rebel - Don't believe in making resolutions.

Then knowing a person's tendency, there are techniques for working with them:
* Upholder - Tell them what needs to be done and when, and they'll tell you whether they can do it.
* Questioner - Explain "why" something needs to be done and ensure they understand the purpose/value. Then tell them what needs to be done.
* Obliger - Tell them who needs it. Make sure they're not overcommitted before asking them to do something.
* Rebel - Don't tell them to do something because they don't like being told to do it. Explain the situation and give them a choice. A common technique for rebel children is saying "Do you want a hamburger or a hot dog," instead of telling them to eat lunch.

16 of 17 people found this review helpful

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  • Nicole Rash
  • 2017-09-14

Very Insightful, Practical, and Fascinating

As a previous psych student, I can't resist a book about personality and more effective communication. I used to think if people wanted to do something.. they would just do it! My whole life I've had discipline and have had no problem finding ways to accomplish things other people lay out for me as well as things I lay out for myself. I would often tell others.. if you want to do it, then why don't you? I'm a textbook upholder. I'm also a fitness coach and find this to be invaluable for keeping clients motivated that don't think like me (a lot of people won't think waking up at 4am just to get a workout in before work is a good strategy even if it means they'll get it done! Haha). I found the information about romantic, parent/child, and professional relationships very useful as well. Overall very interesting and useful and I'm having a fun time learning the tendencies of other people in my life!

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • Brandy M. Heiges
  • 2017-10-19

Highly recommended

I have read Gretchen Rubins other books, and they didn’t disappoint. In my opinion, This one was better than those. In other personality quizzes, or theories, or books.... I usually am very close to an overall mix of the categories that they are talking about. So going into this book The Four Tendencies, and her other book ‘Better than Before’ I felt it was just going to be the same - I had very little faith in it. Buuut... I’m a questioner... and this book identified that sooo clearly. I would have thought that this section was written about me... it was as if she was secretly following me around listening to my every word and watching every move. Even her examples for a questioner... I have done. And the week before I read this book I actually said to my friend “I know! I know too much Information and I can’t stop getting more, when does it end?! I exhaust myself, so I must be exhausting you.” Anyway, I recommend this book to anyone. It’s a good read.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • L. Hershberger
  • 2017-10-04

The tendencies changed my life.

I'm an extreme, textbook Obliger (self-employed for 18 years), happily married to a Questioner.

After reading Better than Before (with one small section on the 4 tendencies), my world shifted. I gave myself permission to take classes or pay for other accountability groups and coaching to keep me focused and productive. I understood why my spouse kept explaining when I was done needing explanation. I realized that telling him what to do was not enough reasoning for him, so I started giving him reasons. (For me, just asking me to do it is enough reason).

I appreciate the sections on how to interact with others in particular combinations. It's really helpful stuff.

I also listen to Gretchen's podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Howard Shaw
  • 2017-09-16

Amazing book!

This book is great to understand more about ourselves and others. It does a great job showing real concrete ways to communicate and motivate the four different tendencies.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Bhelton
  • 2018-02-12

wonderful insight

Gretchen Rubin does not disappoint. Absolutely love her insight and research. Thank you for sharing.

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  • Y. Kuykendall
  • 2018-02-06

you must read this book

I fall in love more and more with Gretchen and her ideas with every book I read from her. Such great content, and so engaging to listen to.

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  • Russell Somoza
  • 2018-01-29

Perfect!

Amazing audiobook! Well written, well narrated, full of insight, examples, and organized incredibly well. I'm reminded of brene browns books when I read this, which only makes me love it more. I'm looking forward to when Gretchen Rubin writes another book. Definitely recommend.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2018-01-23

interesting and useful information!

quick and easy read. Easily applicable to many situations. another great book from Gretchen Rubin!