Listen free for 30 days

  • F*cking History

  • 111 Lessons You Should Have Learned in School
  • Written by: The Captain
  • Narrated by: The Captain
  • Length: 4 hrs and 7 mins
  • 4.0 out of 5 stars (14 ratings)

Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo + applicable taxes after 30 days. Cancel anytime.
F*cking History cover art

F*cking History

Written by: The Captain
Narrated by: The Captain
Try for $0.00

$14.95 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for $26.32

Buy Now for $26.32

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Tax where applicable.

Publisher's Summary

History that doesn't suck: Smart, crude, and hilariously relevant to modern life.

Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Too bad it's usually boring as sh*t. Enter The Captain, the ultimate storyteller who brings history to life (and to your life) in this hilarious, intelligent, brutally honest, and crude compendium to events that happened before any of us were born.

The entries in this compulsively listenable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great. 

You'll learn why losing yourself in a relationship will make you crazy - like Joanna of Castile, who went from accomplished badass to Joanna the Mad after obsessing over a guy known as Philip the Handsome. You'll discover how Resting Bitch Face has been embraced throughout history (so wear it proudly). And you'll see why it's never a good idea to f*ck with powerful women - from pirate queens to diehard suffragettes to Cleo-f*cking-patra. 

People in the past were just like us - so learn from life's losers and emulate the badasses. The Captain shows you how.

©2020 The Captain (P)2020 Penguin Audio

What listeners say about F*cking History

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    7
  • 4 Stars
    3
  • 3 Stars
    2
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    1
Performance
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    7
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    2
Story
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    7
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    3
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Short, Sweet but obnoxious

The stories were interesting but the delivery was obnoxious. It felt like the narrator was going to jump into an add read at anytime.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Awesome listen!

The Captain lays down history in a manner that keeps you engaged and entertained!

If my teachers had half the passion and any ability to tell a story I would have actually listened in class.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Great if you love heterosexual toxic bro bro masculinity

The performance is so obnoxious. You have to have a very low IQ to actually enjoy this audiobook.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!