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Hold Me Tight

Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Written by: Dr. Sue Johnson
Narrated by: Sandra Burr
Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
Categories: Self-Help, Relationships
4.5 out of 5 stars (93 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Heralded by the New York Times and Time as the couples therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond.

This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from "Recognizing the Demon Dialogue" to "Revisiting a Rocky Moment" - and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations.

Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.

©2008 Susan Johnson. (P)2008 Brilliance Audio, all rights reserved. Published by arrangement with Little, Brown and Company, a division of Hachette Book Group USA.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Would Recommend.

This book gave me a new way to look at my relationship issues, I would definitely recommend it to any couple that has tried therapy before but has not looked into Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT).

Also, if you're having trouble with the vocals sounding a little too digital, i turned it to 1.25x listening speed and it made it sound a lot more realistic.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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Good self help book hard to listen to

This book seems to be a good self help book, however I had a hard time listing to the poorly performed mono toned Narrator with a gritty smoker voice. As long as you don’t mind the clinical dry voice with no emotion as it’s read. This book did help me and my wife with our relationship.

5 of 6 people found this review helpful

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must buy!!!!!

Excellent book!!! a definite must read, even if there's marital issues!! She is a true visionary when it comes to couples therapy.

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  • Pac
  • 2019-09-23

Very insightful book.

This book helped me understand myself and why I was feeling the way I was so much. If you want to help yourself with your relationships, this book will give you great insight. There is a lot of evidence based information that all make a lot of sense to how relationships work or how they become dysfunctional.

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Adult attachment therory

Attachment theory for adults, with a evolutionary premise - nice! Also has great relationship insights.

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The narrator.. omg...

The narrator sounds like a robot. The book is probably great, but her voice is too much, or rather not enough! It sounded like they typed it into a cheap program and this is the audio output.

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is this a robot reading the book?

ugh! the narrator sounds like a robot. impossible to listen to. please narrate with a new reader.

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I couldn't get past the first chapter

It sounds like Alexa is trying to read the book to me. It has no emotions. I think I'll try it as an ebook.

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Way too difficult to get into

The narrator is monotone and robotic sounding. My husband and I tried listening at different speeds but nothing helped. Not engaging at all and we couldn’t finish it. Subject matter seems helpful if you can get past that though.

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"hold me tight"

there are so many parts to this book that I'm sure everyone could relate to.

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  • Anne Marie
  • 2009-01-09

Unique book for couples and therapists

Susan Johnson's book "Hold me tight" gives a wonderful and crystal clear introduction to emotionally focused couples therapy, and it is in fact the best book I have ever read on couples therapy. And I have read lots of books on this topic the last ten years!! "Hold me tight" has changed my way of working with couples and it has had positive and important impact on my personal life, too. I really recommend it to everybody, even those who are single at the moment!
As Susan Johnsen says: This approach works for truck drivers as well as for lawyers. As a Norwegian psychologist and family therapist I will add: It even works for Norwegians, these shy vikings, who doesn't show too much emotion ;-)

53 of 54 people found this review helpful

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  • Debra
  • 2012-11-05

Most Sensible book on Repairing Relationships!

If you could sum up Hold Me Tight in three words, what would they be?

Meaningful, Palpable, Useful!

What did you like best about this story?

An actual self help book that has substance and can help! I am a Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst, and am generally not impressed by self help books, but this one actually allows one to use some general principals and tailor the solutions to one's own marriage or relationship for deep, and long lasting changes. Debra A. Hill, M.D., Laguna Hills, CA

What about Sandra Burr’s performance did you like?

Excellent reader. Clearly a professional!

What insight do you think you’ll apply from Hold Me Tight?

I liked the description of the emotional dances called "Find the Bad Guy," or the "Protest Polka," or "Freeze and Flee." By giving these names to the "demon dialogues" as the author calls them, it gives a couple the opportunity to unite against these "demons" by giving them a name. When two people are united against something, it propels them to want to work together to avoid the problems, and takes the blaming away. I loved the premise that troubles in the relationships are linked back to a break in the safe feeling of attachment to one another, because that safe attached feeling is what love is really all about! When that is threatened, we become scared and angry, want to plead for attention, and if it happens over and over again, we freeze up our feelings and flee. Through the seven suggested conversations, the author shows how to get through these tough experiences to reconnect, heal and feel a "lifetime of love."

Any additional comments?

None of the other marriage books make any sense. Once you read this one, it stands head and shoulders above all of the others. There's a lot in it, and it can be a rather emotional experience for one to read the book, as the reader will see many examples of dialogue between couples that are very real and palpable that they will no doubt relate to that were painful when they themselves were in the midst of them. It's a good idea to take it slow, and read the book several times to take it all in. It is an excellent adjunct to being in couples therapy and I use it all of the time in my own private practice. Debra A. Hill, M.D., Laguna Hills, CA

41 of 42 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Ashley
  • 2009-02-02

Definitely Groundbreaking

My husband and I have a great relationship, but I've always wanted us to be able to communicate better about things like finances and household responsibilities. It seems as though those topics always end in an argument. It's amazing how this book has definitely changed the way we talk and interact with each other. Now that I've listened to "Hold Me Tight," my husband is going to listen to it and we're going to work through the sections together. Not only has it improved our relationship, but it's also affected my relationships with my parents, sisters, and friends. It leaves you wanting all the people in your life who are struggling in a relationship, to go through these 7 conversations with their loved one. Life-changing...

32 of 33 people found this review helpful

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  • Adam Silver
  • 2011-11-14

Content is great, better on paper

I found the to be great content. But not being able to underline, not being able to easily go back and read previous pages while thinking about the exercises, made this a real limitation on audio book. If this is your only way to get this material, grab it. Otherwise grab a "BOOK" copy and thumb it madly.

15 of 15 people found this review helpful

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  • MM
  • 2015-04-21

Good listen for anyone dealing w/any relationship

Where does Hold Me Tight rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

It's a very informative book and draws a parallel in communication and dancing. It gives good advice on stepping back to observe the actual steps that lead to a fight, disagreement, unraveling or dissolution of a relationship.

Would you be willing to try another book from Sue Johnson? Why or why not?

Yes. She seems like she has great expert advice.

Which character – as performed by Sandra Burr – was your favorite?

Not sure. She does well imitating male and female character voices. I like her narration.

What insight do you think you’ll apply from Hold Me Tight?

I think I'll apply the background advice to be vulnerable and upfront about needs and insecurities. That seems to have worked in most friendships. I would imagine it'll relate to my next relationship too.

9 of 9 people found this review helpful

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  • Joan
  • 2010-07-05

Very Practical

I think she hit the nail on the head, that attachment is the basis of all relationships and the security one feels in those relationships reflects how one feels about the other person in the relationship.

8 of 8 people found this review helpful

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  • p1vang
  • 2017-09-26

Siri

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

Well spent if you can get past the narrator's robot voice....

Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Sandra Burr?

Someone with a warmer tone. It felt like I was listening to Siri reading the whole time. You gotta really get past the abrupt reading of the narrator to really listen to the meaning of the book. Doesn't seem like Sandra Burr was using the author's voice. Instead she just sounds like Siri... The author makes a lot of reference to other people's work and it I think the narrator could've done a better job instead of just listing out those references.

Could you see Hold Me Tight being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?

No.But possibly a documentary.

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • Girl Next Door
  • 2017-03-28

Hard listen. Perhaps a Better Read

The main problem with this book is the narration. The narrator's voice tended to make imitating the females voice sound meek and quiet while making the male's using a nasally harsh tone. It completely distracted from the book itself. The examples given also seemed to be fake as the conversation had between couples used more technical language which I am sure the average couple would not use. The moral of the book is good but there was a lot going on to distract from that message. I couldn't finish.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Carrie
  • 2009-10-02

EXCELLANT-RADIANT A TOTAL 10

The narration is wonderful! I have found in this book "Hold Me Tight" a wonderful new perspective on how to talk to my mate in a positive way regarding feelings and how not to end up in the all so continuious circle of blame, anger and shut down game that always happens in what was suppose to be talk about what I am feeling and how I NEED MY MATE. If you are a couple and are looking for a way to covey your truest feelings and emotions this is the book for you and how to do it without a fight. To talk about how & what you feel to get your message across without all the unnessary hurt it utltametly ends up in with one person angry and the other walking away with the issue not being solved in the first place. You learn how to tell your mate what is on your mind without accusations or conflicts that you love them and want them to be there for you in the way you need them, how you want to be loved so you can have a long lasting relationship for the rest of your life. This a 10 in my opinion for any person in any relationship-married, ingaged, gay or otherwise. You won't be disappointed!!!

17 of 19 people found this review helpful

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  • K. Cunningham
  • 2010-01-09

great ideas, awful presentation

I think the ideas are very useful for any relationship. I'm glad I listened to the book for this, but the writing and the delivery made me feel like I'm in kindergarten class which was most irritating. But, it was still well worth hanging in there for the valuable concepts and ideas.

14 of 16 people found this review helpful