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Hold On to Your Kids cover art

Hold On to Your Kids

Written by: Gordon Neufeld, Gabor Maté MD
Narrated by: Gabor Maté MD, Daniel Maté
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Publisher's Summary

This parenting classic on one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time—peers replacing parents in the lives of children—is now more relevant than ever. The latest edition includes new material on how social media and video game culture are affecting our children, and what parents can do.

In Hold On to Your Kids, Dr. Neufeld and Dr. Maté explore the phenomenon of peer orientation: the troubling tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction—for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behavior. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; it is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident—as do the solutions.

©2008 Gabor Maté (P)2018 Vintage Canada

What the critics say

"Hold on to Your Kids blows in from Canada like a Blue Northern, bringing us genuinely new ideas and fresh perspectives on parenting. The authors integrate psychology, anthropology, neurology and their own personal and professional experiences as they examine the 'context' of parenting today. This is a worthy book with practical implications for mom and dad." (Dr. Mary Pipher, author of Reviving Ophelia and The Shelter of Each Other)

"Hold on to Your Kids is visionary book that goes beyond the usual explanations to illuminate a crisis of unrecognized proportions. The authors show us how we are losing contact with our children and how this loss undermines their development and threatens the very fabric of society. Most importantly they offer, through concrete examples and clear suggestions, practical help for parents to fulfill their instinctual roles. A brilliant and well written book, one to be taken seriously, very seriously." (Peter A. Levine PhD, international teacher and author of the best-selling books Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma and It Won’t Hurt Forever, Guiding Your Child Through Trauma)

"The thoughts and perspectives presented by the authors are informative—even inspirational—for those who choose to dedicate their lives and energy to students." (Bulletin of the National Association of Secondary School Principals)

What listeners say about Hold On to Your Kids

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A great book parenting for teens!

did take a long time for me to finish, although I enjoyed the narrator and the teenage stories. has me thinking how I can be more considerate of their needs and holding balance in our lives.

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3 people found this helpful

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Great book

loved this book, very informative and eye opening. I'm looking forward to trying to use these technics to improve my relationship with my children.

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1 person found this helpful

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A must!

This book gives a deep understanding of the importance if attachment for our children! It’s life changing!!

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Imperative info for raising children

This book was so full of great information in regards to help our children to grow up to be psychologically, emotionally, and just overall healthy adults. It also provides many strategies to try and protect our kids from the many different aspects of society that steal their childhood and prevent maturation.

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Great read for all parents

I love that this isn't another book with specific techniques on parenting, rather a book to help parents see how to best connect with their children in a natural way and to understand the root of the problems. I'm focusing my energy on what's truly improving as he suggests and have seen wonderful things happen with our teens. It's a game changer and one we need to share with others. I am so glad a friend shared this with me.

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2 people found this helpful

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So much wisdom

Fantastic book that every parent and teacher should read or listen to!
There is so much to learn that I plan on listening to it again real soon. Wish I had heard this stuff a decade ago.

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Should be a requirement for every parent

This work is vital in our society, if every person that has or works with children read this book - our society would permanently be changed for the better.

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Loved it!!!

It’s the best book I’ve read(listened to in a long time). I wish I knew about it sooner, when my kids were little. I will be gifting this book to new parents in the future.

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A must read for all parents

I read this book a few years back and love it. Our kids were little at the time. Now they are teens, it reasonates even more. The tools and suggestions of this are great and very practical. Amazing authors. The dream team!

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amazing

so incredibly validating. my son is 4 and this is how I've been raising him, with attachment in mind and by my own instincts. I'm rewarded with an amazing child who is very much connected to us and seeks out adult connections rather than peer connections while still being able to interact with other children successfully when he feels like it. I will make sure my husband reads it also because I feel that the section regarding gaming phone and internet use is more applicable than ever and we'll just become more relevant as he grows. thank you!!

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