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  • A Complicated Kindness

  • Written by: Miriam Toews
  • Narrated by: Miriam Toews
  • Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (141 ratings)

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A Complicated Kindness

Written by: Miriam Toews
Narrated by: Miriam Toews
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Publisher's Summary

Sixteen-year-old Nomi Nickel longs to hang out with Lou Reed and Marianne Faithfull in New York City's East Village. Instead she's trapped in East Village, Manitoba, a small town whose population is Mennonite: "the most embarrassing sub-sect of people to belong to if you're a teenager." East Village is a town with no train and no bar whose job prospects consist of slaughtering chickens at the Happy Family Farms abattoir or churning butter for tourists at the pioneer village. Ministered with an iron fist by Nomi's uncle Hans, a.k.a. The Mouth of Darkness, East Village is a town that's tall on rules and short on fun: no dancing, drinking, rock 'n' roll, recreational sex, swimming, make-up, jewellery, playing pool, going to cities, or staying up past nine o'clock.

As the novel begins, Nomi struggles to cope with the back-to-back departures three years earlier of Tash, her beautiful and mouthy sister, and Trudie, her warm and spirited mother. She lives with her father, Ray, a sweet yet hapless schoolteacher whose love is unconditional but whose parenting skills amount to benign neglect. Father and daughter deal with their losses in very different ways. Ray, a committed elder of the church, seeks to create an artificial sense of order by reorganizing the city dump late at night. Nomi, on the other hand, favours chaos as she tries to blunt her pain through "drugs and imagination." Together they live in a limbo of unanswered questions.

Nomi's first-person narrative shifts effortlessly between the present and the past. Within the present, Nomi goes through the motions of finishing high school while flagrantly rebelling against Mennonite tradition. She hangs out on Suicide Hill, hooks up with a boy named Travis, goes on the Pill, wanders around town, skips class, and cranks Led Zeppelin. But the past is never far from her mind as she remembers happy times with her mother and sister - as well as the painful events that led them to flee town. Throughout, in a voice both defiant and vulnerable, she offers hilarious and heartbreaking reflections on life, death, family, faith and love.

Eventually Nomi's grief - and a growing sense of hypocrisy - cause her to spiral ever downward to a climax that seems at once startling and inevitable. But even when one more loss is heaped on her piles of losses, Nomi maintains hope and finds the imagination and willingness to envision what lies beyond.

Few novels in recent years have generated as much excitement as A Complicated Kindness. Winner of the Governor General's Award and a Giller Prize Finalist, Miriam Toews's third novel has earned both critical acclaim and a long and steady position on our national best seller lists.

©2017 Vintage Canada; 2005 Miriam Toews

What the critics say

"Poignant.... Bold, tender and intelligent, this is a clear-eyed exploration of belief and belonging, and the irresistible urge to escape both." ( Publishers Weekly)
"...knockout novel. ...There's leave-taking in this book. But there's wholeness, too. It is a joy." (Jennifer Wells, Toronto Star)
"In novel full of original characters...Toews has created a feisty but appealing young heroine.... As an indictment against religious fundamentalism, A Complicated Kindness is timely. As a commentary on character it is fresh and inventive, and as storytelling it is first rate." ( The London Free Press)

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What listeners say about A Complicated Kindness

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A good read

Coming from a nearby Mennonite community, I enjoyed this book. Toews writes about what she knows and the feeling of entrapment becomes palpable as you listen to this story. I can imagine being in the story myself- not far from some of the real life experiences I’ve seen or heard about. #Audible1

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Loved this book....both times!

I first heard it read on CBC radio, in the afternoons, a chapter at a time, and was intrigued. I come from the same mennonite heritage/culture/religion as she writes about and Miriam's books strike a chord with me. I love hearing the words we grew up with used in the way that only we could really understand, I think. The angst that her characters experience, I myself have lived also, in varying degrees. And look back on with gratefulness for how it crippled me in some ways, and for all it allowed me to learn from. Miriam Toews, I salute and bless you!

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Sooo depressing.

only finished it because it was paid for. should having a warning...be prepared to be saddened with no light at the end.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Eye opening!

I’ve always wondered what life was really like living in a Mennonite community. I come from a strict Baptist upbringing and there are a lot of similarities in the damnation culture. This book was a breath of fresh air...a confirmation that leaving the legalistic and traumatizing culture I grew up in was the best move I ever made. Thank you Miriam Toews for writing such a funny, heart wrenching, and honest story!

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

#Audible1

#Audible1 Spoiler Alert - Heartbreaking. Funny. I became totally invested in Nomi and yet knew that her story was one of sadness and loss. I wanted for everything to be okay but this is not a summer read that will leave you blissful and happy. It’s dark and sad and yet brilliant. Miriam Toews is a wordsmith that will leave you thinking. As a woman who has left organized religion this book left marks on my heart.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Loved it

An interesting look into life in a Mennonite community. I found myself one minute feeling the despair of main character, and the next minute laughing my head off at the stories of her antics. The delivery of the narrative was perfect. #Audible1

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Narrator style detracts from book

Somewhat bizarre story but is a reasonable guess about the mentality of a young person who has lived a life with cultish parents and lost a mother and been left alone with her father. While still very young. Not sure why this style of reading is so common but the machine-gun rhythm is extremely irritating snd may be the cause of my negative response to this book. It is making me less and less likely to continue with audiobooks

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A sweet, brutal, & funny but gut- wrenching story

I thoroughly enjoyed this story and loved that it was read by the author. I've wanted to read this book for a long time and loved how it captured the mind of a girl living in a small Mennonite town.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

A mellow listen

Love anything by Miriam Toeves and she is a great narrator. This one dragged a little in contrast to my fave of her's, All My Puny Sorrrows, but still a great relaxed listen.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Expected more

Doesn't live up to the hype; still good. Catcher in the Rye, but waaaay better.

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1 person found this helpful