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  • The Velvet Rage

  • Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
  • Written by: Alan Downs Ph. D
  • Narrated by: Alan Downs Ph. D
  • Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (116 ratings)

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The Velvet Rage cover art

The Velvet Rage

Written by: Alan Downs Ph. D
Narrated by: Alan Downs Ph. D
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Publisher's Summary

The most important issue in a gay man’s life is not “coming out”, but coming to terms with the invalidating past. Despite the progress made in recent years, many gay men still wonder, “Are we better off?” The byproduct of growing up gay in a straight world continues to be the internalization of shame, rejection, and anger - a toxic cocktail that can lead to drug abuse, promiscuity, alcoholism, depression, and suicide.

Drawing on contemporary psychological research, the author’s own journey, and the stories of many of his friends and clients, Velvet Rage addresses the myth of gay pride and outlines three stages to emotional well-being for gay men. The revised and expanded edition covers issues related to gay marriage, a broader range of examples that extend beyond middle-class gay men in America, and expansion of the original discussion on living authentically as a gay man.

©2005, 2006, 2012 Alan Downs (P)2012 HighBridge Company

What listeners say about The Velvet Rage

Average Customer Ratings
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every gay man should read this book !

brilliant and gives beautiful perspective on every aspect of the life of a gay man

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2 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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Important even for non gays

I would recommend this to anyone who is seeking meaning in their lives as couple.

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2 people found this helpful

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Took me a while but worth it

At first it took me a while to get used to the authors way of speaking. Information overload. Though after finishing the book I find my mind more at peace. There was so much that I relate too and feel that my friends and family would grow from reading this book.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Great listen.

Highly recommend this audio book to any newly out or been out for awhile. It draws out many situations that affect us all.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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A book to help me make peace with myself and my community

A book to help me make peace with myself and my community by understanding the source of frustrations we’re dealing with as gay men in a world that doesn’t make us feel validated.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Life Changing

I loved it, it was easy to listen and learn from. Dr. Alan Downs does a great job narrating and telling the different stories.
Now its time to use the information in the book to dismantle this internalized shame of growing up gay in a straight and religious family.

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A great insight

Each chapter was a reflection on the life of atleast one gay man in my circle. The narration was appropriate to the seriousness of the topics being discussed. The whole journey was heartbreaking and insightful.

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I enjoyed it

The first lgtb book I have ever read as a gay man. I found it very enlightening and can relate to many of the experiences shared.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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Great book, narration is not exciting

Such an important book! - real good read but the narration is a little monotoned and truly takes away from this great book

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Enlightening of the journey

This book has taught a lot to me and the friends I've shared this to through recommendation

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