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  • The Astonishing Color of After

  • Written by: Emily X.R. Pan
  • Narrated by: Stephanie Hsu
  • Length: 11 hrs and 52 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (22 ratings)

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The Astonishing Color of After

Written by: Emily X.R. Pan
Narrated by: Stephanie Hsu
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Publisher's Summary

A stunning, heartbreaking debut novel about grief, love, and family, perfect for fans of Jandy Nelson and Celeste Ng.

Leigh Chen Sanders is absolutely certain about one thing: When her mother died by suicide, she turned into a bird.

Leigh, who is half Asian and half white, travels to Taiwan to meet her maternal grandparents for the first time. There, she is determined to find her mother, the bird. In her search, she winds up chasing after ghosts, uncovering family secrets, and forging a new relationship with her grandparents. And as she grieves, she must try to reconcile the fact that on the same day she kissed her best friend and longtime secret crush, Axel, her mother was taking her own life.

Alternating between real and magic, past and present, friendship and romance, hope and despair, The Astonishing Color of After is a stunning and heartbreaking novel about finding oneself through family history, art, grief, and love.

"Emily X.R. Pan's brilliantly crafted, harrowing first novel portrays the vast spectrum of love and grief with heart-wrenching beauty and candor. This is a very special book."—John Green, bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars and Turtles All the Way Down

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2018 Emily X.R. Pan (P)2018 Hachette Audio

What the critics say

A New York Times bestseller

An IndieBound bestseller

Bustle Best of YA Books of 2018

A Paste Magazine Best Young Adult Novel of 2018

Winner of the Walter Honor Award

Winner of the APALA Honor Award

"Emily X.R. Pan's brilliantly crafted, harrowing first novel portrays the vast spectrum of love and grief with heart-wrenching beauty and candor. This is a very special book."—John Green, bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars and Turtles All the Way Down

"Magic and mourning, love and loss, secrets kept and secrets revealed all illuminate Emily X.R. Pan's inventive and heart-wrenching debut."—Gayle Forman, bestselling author of If I Stay and I Was Here

"Emily X.R. Pan utterly transported me to a world reminiscent of Isabel Allende. Haunting at every turn, this is a glorious debut."—Renée Ahdieh, bestselling author of The Wrath and the Dawn

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What listeners say about The Astonishing Color of After

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

too much ghost

i'm not a ghost believer, so the ghost-ish parts, that were all throughout the book kind of fell on my nerves 🥴

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Realistic deprivations of dealing with loss

Was a really good book with a compelling storyline. The journey through grief and acceptance this novel takes you on hits close to home. It is told from the perspective of a teenage girl, causing it to sometimes read like a YA romance/drama novel, I’m not the biggest fan of these parts of the book but that’s just a personal preference. Wonderful book dealing with suicide and generational trauma, really worth the read.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

The Astonishing Color of After. What an amazing novel!

I thought The Astonishing Color Of After was a beautiful story. It did take me awhile to really get into the book, but after I was about half way though the story started to pick up. I thought I would end up giving this book three stars. But the ending was so impactful that just the ending bumped it up to a five. After I’ve finished this book, it’s been constantly on my mind. I loved how the story turned out, and I loved how Emily X.R Pan wrapped up this novel. I would definitely recommend this book to people. If your looking for a story that will fill your heart with sadness and joy all at the same time, this is the book for you. It’s nothing I’ve personally ever read before. This is an amazing, beautiful, and heart wrenching novel that will tear you to shreds and put you back together again.

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