Listen free for 30 days
-
The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wish list failed.
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
Buy Now for $17.81
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
You may also enjoy...
-
A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking
- Written by: T. Kingfisher
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 89
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 77
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 77
Fourteen-year-old Mona isn't like the wizards charged with defending the city. She can't control lightning or speak to water. Her familiar is a sourdough starter, and her magic only works on bread. She has a comfortable life in her aunt's bakery making gingerbread men dance. But Mona's life is turned upside down when she finds a dead body on the bakery floor. An assassin is stalking the streets of Mona's city, preying on magic folk, and it appears that Mona is his next target. And in an embattled city suddenly bereft of wizards, the assassin may be the least of Mona's worries.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Clever, original and for all ages
- By Michelle Johnson on 2022-02-19
Written by: T. Kingfisher
-
Forging Hephaestus
- Villains' Code Series, Book 1
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 26 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 163
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 141
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 142
Gifted with meta-human powers, Tori Rivas kept away from the limelight, preferring to work as a thief in the shadows. But when she's captured trying to rob a vault that belongs to a secret guild of villains, she's offered a hard choice: prove she has what it takes to join them or be eliminated. Apprenticed to one of the world's most powerful (and supposedly dead) villains, she is thrust into a strange world where the lines that divide superheroes and criminals are more complex than they seem.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Un-frickin-believable
- By Cody Pederson on 2018-12-30
Written by: Drew Hayes
-
NPCs
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 209
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 193
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 193
What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Probly the best narrator ever
- By Amazon Customer on 2017-10-01
Written by: Drew Hayes
-
The House Witch: A Humorous Romantic Fantasy
- The House Witch, Book 1
- Written by: Delemhach
- Narrated by: Matthew Wolf
- Length: 17 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 85
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 77
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 77
When Finlay Ashowan joins the staff of the King and Queen of Daxaria, he’s an enigma. No one knows where he comes from or how he came to be where he is, which suits Fin just fine. He’s satisfied simply serving as the royal cook, keeping nosy passersby out of his kitchen, and concocting some truly uncanny meals. But Fin’s secret identity doesn’t stay hidden for long. After all, it’s not every day a house witch and his kitten familiar, Kraken, take to meddling in imperial affairs.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
good but
- By Sara on 2023-11-10
Written by: Delemhach
-
The Case of the Damaged Detective
- 5-Minute Sherlock, Book 1
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Carol Monda
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 66
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 62
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 62
A dance club full of bodies. Cause of death - a mystery. The lone survivor - a man, raving like a lunatic, wearing only a deerstalker hat. Now, the man who calls himself Sherman Holmes is being studied like a lab rat by a top-secret government agency. How is it he can be barely clinging to reality one minute - yet be a seeming genius the next? Within his brain might just be the greatest scientific breakthrough of the millennium, if anyone can figure out how to access it. Enter the agent code named Watson.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Another series by Drew Hayes to get addicted to
- By Anamika Baruah on 2019-06-14
Written by: Drew Hayes
-
Second Hand Curses
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Marc Vietor, Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 400
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 364
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 362
When your fairy godmother threatens to enslave you with a curse - when a malevolent piper solves your rat problem but steals your children - when you seek revenge on the prince who turned you into a frog - who can you turn to in your hour of need? The band of scoundrels known far and wide as the Bastard Champions - the swashbuckling trio who travel a world of legend, seeking adventure and righting wrongs - as long as there's enough gold to be earned.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Quite possibly perfect
- By Anonymous User on 2019-12-14
Written by: Drew Hayes
-
A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking
- Written by: T. Kingfisher
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 89
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 77
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 77
Fourteen-year-old Mona isn't like the wizards charged with defending the city. She can't control lightning or speak to water. Her familiar is a sourdough starter, and her magic only works on bread. She has a comfortable life in her aunt's bakery making gingerbread men dance. But Mona's life is turned upside down when she finds a dead body on the bakery floor. An assassin is stalking the streets of Mona's city, preying on magic folk, and it appears that Mona is his next target. And in an embattled city suddenly bereft of wizards, the assassin may be the least of Mona's worries.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Clever, original and for all ages
- By Michelle Johnson on 2022-02-19
Written by: T. Kingfisher
-
Forging Hephaestus
- Villains' Code Series, Book 1
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 26 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 163
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 141
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 142
Gifted with meta-human powers, Tori Rivas kept away from the limelight, preferring to work as a thief in the shadows. But when she's captured trying to rob a vault that belongs to a secret guild of villains, she's offered a hard choice: prove she has what it takes to join them or be eliminated. Apprenticed to one of the world's most powerful (and supposedly dead) villains, she is thrust into a strange world where the lines that divide superheroes and criminals are more complex than they seem.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Un-frickin-believable
- By Cody Pederson on 2018-12-30
Written by: Drew Hayes
-
NPCs
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 209
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 193
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 193
What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Probly the best narrator ever
- By Amazon Customer on 2017-10-01
Written by: Drew Hayes
-
The House Witch: A Humorous Romantic Fantasy
- The House Witch, Book 1
- Written by: Delemhach
- Narrated by: Matthew Wolf
- Length: 17 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 85
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 77
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 77
When Finlay Ashowan joins the staff of the King and Queen of Daxaria, he’s an enigma. No one knows where he comes from or how he came to be where he is, which suits Fin just fine. He’s satisfied simply serving as the royal cook, keeping nosy passersby out of his kitchen, and concocting some truly uncanny meals. But Fin’s secret identity doesn’t stay hidden for long. After all, it’s not every day a house witch and his kitten familiar, Kraken, take to meddling in imperial affairs.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
good but
- By Sara on 2023-11-10
Written by: Delemhach
-
The Case of the Damaged Detective
- 5-Minute Sherlock, Book 1
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Carol Monda
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 66
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 62
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 62
A dance club full of bodies. Cause of death - a mystery. The lone survivor - a man, raving like a lunatic, wearing only a deerstalker hat. Now, the man who calls himself Sherman Holmes is being studied like a lab rat by a top-secret government agency. How is it he can be barely clinging to reality one minute - yet be a seeming genius the next? Within his brain might just be the greatest scientific breakthrough of the millennium, if anyone can figure out how to access it. Enter the agent code named Watson.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Another series by Drew Hayes to get addicted to
- By Anamika Baruah on 2019-06-14
Written by: Drew Hayes
-
Second Hand Curses
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Marc Vietor, Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 400
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 364
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 362
When your fairy godmother threatens to enslave you with a curse - when a malevolent piper solves your rat problem but steals your children - when you seek revenge on the prince who turned you into a frog - who can you turn to in your hour of need? The band of scoundrels known far and wide as the Bastard Champions - the swashbuckling trio who travel a world of legend, seeking adventure and righting wrongs - as long as there's enough gold to be earned.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Quite possibly perfect
- By Anonymous User on 2019-12-14
Written by: Drew Hayes
Publisher's Summary
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one.
Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos of the parahuman world: a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to "survive". Because even after it's over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.
More from the same
What listeners say about The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Sharda
- 2019-01-31
Hillarious
Really great listen. Had me chuckling more than once. felt a little RPG-y. Complete the level and get a new member for your party!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Kenneth Wood
- 2018-09-13
modern day nontypical vamp novel
most enjoyable. nice to have a main character who isn't super bad as but gets by. good comedy in it as well.
#Audiable1
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- aLex
- 2020-10-17
Hilarious!
I admittedly was turned off after listening to the sample and finding the narrator the auditory equivalent to watching paint dry; was convinced to give it a second chance, WORTH IT! The bland narration is the protagonists personality. The book is set as a series of short stories building on one another. I can’t wait to find out what this little Scooby Gang gets up to in the book.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall3 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- Genevieve Paquette
- 2021-02-05
pretty good
This was fun. The characters are all charming and likable, and the stories are quick and entertaining. The format wasn't my favorite, as there was a lot of repititious information/info dumping, but it wasn't that bad.
I feel like Drew Hayes is a former fat person, because that seems to be a recurring theme in his books. I find it a bit grating, but it definitely could be worse.
Overall, a cute, entertaining collection of stories with a fantastic gimmick.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Liana
- 2023-11-14
Awesome little read, very entertaining
The only things keeping this from being 5/5 are that sometimes things get a bit too cheesy and there is a bit of tying things up into too much of a neat bow.
Otherwise these are cool creative turns, very compelling characters and an overall unique feel. Love it!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall3 out of 5 stars
-
Performance2 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- CuriosityOfPandora
- 2021-11-13
The narrator doesn’t capture the humorous tone of the book
I would have enjoyed this book more if the narrator treated humour as humorous, jokes as jokes, and wacky predicaments as actually wacky. Instead it was pretty dry, reading dialogue and the text as just straight descriptions, not in a deadpan way, not in a way that suitably conveys “this situation is funny”.
The book has some potential, but this narrator did the book no favours by being so serious and dry in delivery. A different narrator could make this book a lot more enjoyable.
The narrator wasn’t “bad” per se, there was decent differentiation between characters through their voices, I didn’t notice any mistakes in pronunciation or in production. I probably wouldn’t recommend this book in this audiobook form, but I think it’d be worthwhile to look into any other audiobook versions if they exist. Otherwise, a physical book or eBook might be the better way to experience the humour this book offers.
Story wise I enjoyed it well enough, there’s some interesting world building and the characters are decently likeable. They don’t get a lot of development since this is basically a collection of short stories, but I like that.
But if you want something like this with truly excellent narration, The Murderbot Diaries are fantastic, definitely recommended. They’re a series of novellas (plus one full length book), they’re funny, really gets you to care about these characters, and character development is handled quite well. There’s excellent sci-fi world building and a realistic portrayal of capitalism in space.
I’m mentioning it in this review because when I picked up *this* book I was hoping it would scratch that Murderbot itch as I wait for new stories to be released. Maybe that set my expectations too high.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lynn Bishop
- 2021-01-04
Lovely
The narrator was great and the story was super interesting contrary to the name of the book!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- CaperOne
- 2023-06-20
Made me giggle
Very light, very silly (maybe ridiculous) but honestly see the name of the book lol
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Andrea
- 2021-01-21
Lovely!
This was recommended to my by my cousin who is not much of a reader so I knew it would be something worth reading. I found it absolutely adorable and entertaining! A nice light listen with just enough drama and action to be very engaging. I am looking forward to picking up the next one!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- June
- 2019-02-13
Another great series from Hayes
I loved this so much I finished the whole book within 24 hours. It's a must read if you liked Hayes' other books. The characters are very relatable and the plot is refreshing. The only thing I'm not a fan of is the power difference between Fred, our vampire accountant and crystal, his love interest. Crystal is stronger than Fred in what seems like every facet, physically, mentally, more experience, more knowledge. I prefer relationships where both parties are somewhat equal. A big power difference between couples make me worry. This doesn't distract from the story though. The focus is Fred's life as a vampire and how he grows from his experiences. I'd definitely recommend this book.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful