Listen free for 30 days
-
What the Hell Did I Just Read
- A Novel of Cosmic Horror
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 11 hrs and 10 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wish list failed.
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Buy Now for $31.27
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
You may also enjoy...
-
John Dies at the End
- Written by: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
-
-
not for me
- By Genevieve Paquette on 2021-03-22
Written by: David Wong
-
Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits
- Written by: David Wong, Jason Pargin
- Narrated by: Christy Romano
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a prosperous yet gruesomely violent near future, superhero vigilantes battle thugs whose heads are full of supervillain fantasies. The peace is kept by a team of smooth, well-dressed negotiators called The Men in Fancy Suits. Meanwhile a young girl is caught in the middle and thinks the whole thing is ridiculous. Zoey, a recent college graduate with a worthless degree, makes a reluctant trip into the city after hearing that her estranged con artist father died in a mysterious yet spectacular way.
-
-
Catsuit
- By Salios on 2017-10-07
Written by: David Wong, and others
-
I'm Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom
- A Novel
- Written by: Jason Pargin
- Length: 12 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Outside Los Angeles, a driver pulls up to find a young woman sitting on a large black box. She offers him $200,000 cash to transport her and that box across the country, to Washington, DC. But there are rules: He cannot look inside the box. He cannot ask questions. He cannot tell anyone. They must leave immediately. He must leave all trackable devices behind. As these eccentric misfits hit the road, rumors spread on social media that the box is part of a carefully orchestrated terror attack intended to plunge the USA into civil war.
Written by: Jason Pargin
-
Island 731
- Written by: Jeremy Robinson
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mark Hawkins, former park ranger and expert tracker, is out of his element, working onboard the Magellan, a research vessel studying the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. But his work is interrupted when, surrounded by 30 miles of refuse, the ship and its high-tech systems are plagued by a series of strange malfunctions and the crew is battered by a raging storm. When the storm fades and the sun rises, the beaten crew awakens to find themselves anchored in the protective cove of a tropical island...and no one knows how they got there.
-
-
It Was A Difficult Write, But An Incredible Listen
- By Vikki Holmberg on 2022-12-29
Written by: Jeremy Robinson
-
Welcome to Night Vale
- A Novel
- Written by: Joseph Fink, Jeffrey Cranor
- Narrated by: Cecil Baldwin, Dylan Marron, Retta, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Located in a nameless desert somewhere in the great American Southwest, Night Vale is a small town where ghosts, angels, aliens, and government conspiracies are all commonplace parts of everyday life. It is here that the lives of two women, with two mysteries, will converge.
-
-
From a fan of Welcome to Nightvale
- By MTG Fan on 2020-09-17
Written by: Joseph Fink, and others
-
Tales from the Gas Station: Volume One
- Written by: Jack Townsend
- Narrated by: MrCreepyPasta
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Drunk customers. Shoplifting raccoons. Otherworldly visitors. As night shift clerk at the 24-hour gas station at the edge of town, Jack has pretty much seen it all.
-
-
Absolutely incredible.
- By Rhianna on 2023-07-07
Written by: Jack Townsend
-
John Dies at the End
- Written by: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
-
-
not for me
- By Genevieve Paquette on 2021-03-22
Written by: David Wong
-
Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits
- Written by: David Wong, Jason Pargin
- Narrated by: Christy Romano
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a prosperous yet gruesomely violent near future, superhero vigilantes battle thugs whose heads are full of supervillain fantasies. The peace is kept by a team of smooth, well-dressed negotiators called The Men in Fancy Suits. Meanwhile a young girl is caught in the middle and thinks the whole thing is ridiculous. Zoey, a recent college graduate with a worthless degree, makes a reluctant trip into the city after hearing that her estranged con artist father died in a mysterious yet spectacular way.
-
-
Catsuit
- By Salios on 2017-10-07
Written by: David Wong, and others
-
I'm Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom
- A Novel
- Written by: Jason Pargin
- Length: 12 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Outside Los Angeles, a driver pulls up to find a young woman sitting on a large black box. She offers him $200,000 cash to transport her and that box across the country, to Washington, DC. But there are rules: He cannot look inside the box. He cannot ask questions. He cannot tell anyone. They must leave immediately. He must leave all trackable devices behind. As these eccentric misfits hit the road, rumors spread on social media that the box is part of a carefully orchestrated terror attack intended to plunge the USA into civil war.
Written by: Jason Pargin
-
Island 731
- Written by: Jeremy Robinson
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mark Hawkins, former park ranger and expert tracker, is out of his element, working onboard the Magellan, a research vessel studying the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. But his work is interrupted when, surrounded by 30 miles of refuse, the ship and its high-tech systems are plagued by a series of strange malfunctions and the crew is battered by a raging storm. When the storm fades and the sun rises, the beaten crew awakens to find themselves anchored in the protective cove of a tropical island...and no one knows how they got there.
-
-
It Was A Difficult Write, But An Incredible Listen
- By Vikki Holmberg on 2022-12-29
Written by: Jeremy Robinson
-
Welcome to Night Vale
- A Novel
- Written by: Joseph Fink, Jeffrey Cranor
- Narrated by: Cecil Baldwin, Dylan Marron, Retta, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Located in a nameless desert somewhere in the great American Southwest, Night Vale is a small town where ghosts, angels, aliens, and government conspiracies are all commonplace parts of everyday life. It is here that the lives of two women, with two mysteries, will converge.
-
-
From a fan of Welcome to Nightvale
- By MTG Fan on 2020-09-17
Written by: Joseph Fink, and others
-
Tales from the Gas Station: Volume One
- Written by: Jack Townsend
- Narrated by: MrCreepyPasta
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Drunk customers. Shoplifting raccoons. Otherworldly visitors. As night shift clerk at the 24-hour gas station at the edge of town, Jack has pretty much seen it all.
-
-
Absolutely incredible.
- By Rhianna on 2023-07-07
Written by: Jack Townsend
-
Lovecraft's Monsters
- Written by: Neil Gaiman, Ellen Datlow - editor
- Narrated by: Bernard Clark
- Length: 15 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Prepare to meet the wicked progeny of the master of modern horror. In Lovecraft's Monsters, H. P. Lovecraft's most famous creations--Cthulhu, Shoggoths, Deep Ones, Elder Things, Yog-Sothoth, and more--appear in all their terrifying glory. Each story is a gripping new take on a classic Lovecraftian creature. Contributors include such literary luminaries as Neil Gaiman, Joe R. Lansdale, Caitlin R. Kiernan, Karl Edward Wagner, Elizabeth Bear, and Nick Mamatas.
-
-
Awesomely grotesque!
- By Claire Lussier on 2022-12-07
Written by: Neil Gaiman, and others
-
Necronomicon
- Written by: H. P. Lovecraft
- Narrated by: Richard Powers, Bronson Pinchot, Stephen R. Thorne, and others
- Length: 21 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Originally written for the pulp magazines of the 1920s and '30s, H. P. Lovecraft's astonishing tales blend elements of horror, science fiction, and cosmic terror that are as powerful today as they were when first published. This tome brings together all of Lovecraft's harrowing stories, including the complete Cthulhu Mythos cycle, just the way they were when first released.
-
-
Spot on performances
- By Amazon Customer on 2021-04-21
Written by: H. P. Lovecraft
-
Infinite
- Written by: Jeremy Robinson
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Galahad, a faster-than-light spacecraft, carries 50 scientists and engineers on a mission to prepare Kepler 452b, Earth's nearest habitable neighbor at 1400 light years away. With Earth no longer habitable and the Mars colony slowly failing, they are humanity's best hope. After 10 years in a failed cryogenic bed - body asleep, mind awake - William Chanokh's torture comes to an end as the fog clears, the hatch opens, and his friend and fellow hacker, Tom, greets him...by stabbing a screwdriver into his heart. This is the first time William dies.
-
-
Excellent Excellent Excellent
- By daniel on 2018-05-14
Written by: Jeremy Robinson
-
The Kaiju Preservation Society
- Written by: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When COVID-19 sweeps through New York City, Jamie Gray is stuck as a dead-end driver for food-delivery apps. That is, until Jamie makes a delivery to an old acquaintance, Tom, who works at what he calls “an animal rights organization”. Tom’s team needs a last-minute grunt to handle things on their next field visit. Jamie, eager to do anything, immediately signs on. What Tom doesn't tell Jamie is that the animals his team cares for are not here on Earth. Not our Earth, at at least. In an alternate dimension, dinosaur-like creatures named Kaiju roam a warm and human-free world.
-
-
Strong Sunday School energy.
- By Andrew on 2022-05-16
Written by: John Scalzi
-
The Salvage Crew
- Written by: Yudhanjaya Wijeratne
- Narrated by: Nathan Fillion
- Length: 8 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An AI overseer and a human crew arrive on a distant planet to salvage an ancient UN starship. The overseer is unhappy. The crew, well, they're certainly no A-team. Not even a C-team on the best of days. And worse? Urmahon Beta, the planet, is at the ass-end of nowhere. Everybody expects this to be a long, ugly, and thankless job. Then it all goes disastrously wrong. What they thought was an uninhabited backwater turns out to be anything but empty.
-
-
Interesting story
- By Bender on 2021-02-04
Written by: Yudhanjaya Wijeratne
-
The Shadow of the Wind
- Written by: Carlos Ruiz Zafón
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis
- Length: 18 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Barcelona, 1945: Just after the war, a great world city lies in shadow, nursing its wounds, and a boy named Daniel awakes on his 11th birthday to find that he can no longer remember his mother's face. To console his only child, Daniel's widowed father, an antiquarian book dealer, initiates him into the secret of the Cemetery of Forgotten Books, a library tended by Barcelona's guild of rare-book dealers as a repository for books forgotten by the world, waiting for someone who will care about them again.
-
-
great
- By Genevieve Paquette on 2021-04-20
Written by: Carlos Ruiz Zafón
-
Hyperion
- Written by: Dan Simmons
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor, Allyson Johnson, Kevin Pariseau, and others
- Length: 20 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On the world called Hyperion, beyond the law of the Hegemony of Man, there waits the creature called the Shrike. There are those who worship it. There are those who fear it. And there are those who have vowed to destroy it. In the Valley of the Time Tombs, where huge, brooding structures move backward through time, the Shrike waits for them all.
-
-
Simmons is a complete hack
- By FuzzyThoughts on 2021-04-14
Written by: Dan Simmons
-
Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection
- Written by: Alexander C. Kane
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Andrea Vernon always thought she would spend her life living in Paris writing thought-provoking historical novels all day and sipping wine on the Seine all night. But the reality is she's drowning in debt, has no prospects, and is forced to move back to Queens, where her parents remind her daily that they are very interested in grandchildren. Then, one morning, she is kidnapped, interviewed, and hired as an administrative assistant by the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection. Superheroes for hire, using their powers for good. What could possibly go wrong?
-
-
Utter hilarity from start to finish
- By Czernovog on 2018-08-18
Written by: Alexander C. Kane
-
It Devours!
- A Welcome to Night Vale Novel
- Written by: Joseph Fink, Jeffrey Cranor
- Narrated by: Cecil Baldwin
- Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Nilanjana Sikdar is an outsider to the town of Night Vale. Working for Carlos, the town's top scientist, she relies on fact and logic as her guiding principles. But all of that is put into question when Carlos gives her a special assignment investigating a mysterious rumbling in the desert wasteland outside of town. This investigation leads her to the Joyous Congregation of the Smiling God and to Darryl, one of its most committed members.
-
-
Joyful
- By James on 2023-05-04
Written by: Joseph Fink, and others
-
Bedside Manor
- Written by: Jack Townsend
- Narrated by: MrCreepyPasta
- Length: 4 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Jack’s car breaks down in the middle of a cross-country road trip, the mysterious house at the top of the hill is a beacon of hope. If he can borrow a phone to call for help, he’ll be on his way in no time. But someone - or something - has other plans. Soon, Jack finds himself trapped in a nightmare that defies logic, where a depraved killer on the loose is the least of his problems. Will Jack escape before it’s too late?
-
-
Amazing
- By Joy on 2022-10-05
Written by: Jack Townsend
-
The Strain
- Written by: Guillermo Del Toro, Chuck Hogan
- Narrated by: Ron Perlman
- Length: 13 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The visionary creator of the Academy Award-winning Pan's Labyrinth and a Hammett Award-winning author bring their imaginations to this bold, epic novel about a horrifying battle between man and vampire that threatens all humanity. It is the first installment in a thrilling trilogy and an extraordinary international publishing event.
-
-
Ron Perlman does a great Ron Perlman voice...
- By Trevor Paulson on 2019-06-13
Written by: Guillermo Del Toro, and others
-
Alice
- Written by: Christina Henry
- Narrated by: Jenny Sterlin
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a warren of crumbling buildings and desperate people called the Old City, there stands a hospital with cinderblock walls that echo the screams of the poor souls inside. In the hospital, there is a woman. Her hair, once blond, hangs in tangles down her back. She doesn't remember why she's in such a terrible place. Just a tea party long ago, and long ears, and blood.
-
-
Dread Punk Classic
- By Karen W. Lam on 2022-08-31
Written by: Christina Henry
Publisher's Summary
It's the story "They" don't want you to listen to. Though, to be fair, "They" are probably right about this one. To quote the Bible, "Learning the truth can be like loosening a necktie, only to realize it was the only thing keeping your head attached". No, don't put the book back on the shelf - it is now your duty to purchase it to prevent others from listening to it. Yes, it works with audiobooks, too, I don't have time to explain how.
While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John, and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth they - like you - would be better off not knowing.
Your first impulse will be to think that a story this gruesome - and, to be frank, stupid - cannot possibly be true. That is precisely the reaction "They" are hoping for.
What listeners say about What the Hell Did I Just Read
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Mike Reiter
- 2019-07-27
Amusing and a little weird
If you have been following the saga through John Dies at the End and This Book is Full of Spiders you know our protagonists can see supernatural, pan dimensional beings due to a power given to them by a drug they call Soya Sauce. It is a decent adventure with kidnappings, battles, shady government(?) organizations, reality tv stars, shape shifting aliens and batmantis. The humour is sophomoric, that doesn't make it any less funny but if you don't like dildo shooting cannons, fart and dick jokes, this might not be the book for you.
I enjoyed it and I felt the performance by Stephen Thorne was very good and captured the spirit of the material.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Farquhar
- 2019-04-25
Good, but not as strong as the previous two
if you love the first two, you'll like this book.
its not as good it keeps to the same style and humour.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Anthony
- 2018-08-03
I think the title says it all....
Okay, so this definitely wasn't for me. The title and description of the book... Well, I took it to being tongue-in-cheek. Yeaaahhh no. Not at all. I got to chapter 12 and said, "That's enough, I can't do this anymore." It just wasn't entertaining, engaging or... well, anything aside of annoying for me. It felt like the pointless blithering of a High School kid who was writing it as you read/listened. I pictured a kid with an overactive imagination going, "Oh, and then....", "Yeah that'd be cool!" and "They'll never see that coming!", throughout the chapters I managed to get through.
Not to say that this won't be enjoyable to some people out there. It simply wasn't for me. I won't say I'm in to the most cerebral books, but I enjoy a good story. And in this case a good reader as well. In this particular case, I found both lacking.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- C. Browder
- 2017-10-30
Hellishly Hilarious!
I've wondered how Dave Wong's mind works... How he comes up with this stuff is beyond me! Scary, funny, and thoroughly enjoyable!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Thomas Scotland
- 2023-03-24
Beavis & Butthead vs Brain Warping Bug Monsters
Let me start by saying that I really enjoyed this book, and that it was fun to listen to. There were times where the plot felt a bit cluttered due to the constant changing of vantage points, but other than that, it was still very much 'Beavis & Butthead vs.The Brain Warping Bug Monsters', which is what I showed up for.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Apologist
- 2022-09-09
Fun, fantastic fiction!
Great book with an excellent narrator. the story was exciting and original with nary a dull moment.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Tony
- 2018-09-20
Overall, I'm disappointed.
I've been a fan of this series for years, but this one just didn't resonate with me. I wouldn't recommend it if you liked the first two. It didn't seem to add anything special to the story, nor did it seem as well written. Here are some positive and negative points from my take.
The books first 1/4 I think was the best part of it all. It set up some really neat ideas that would have been really cool to see where they went, but mostly just sputtered out. Early on there is a series of questions asked that references the first two books without being explained. I really liked that because in book two, and in this one after this point, we are always hit over the head with "this is how Amy lost her hand", "this is what soya sauce is", etc, when it would have been nice to have more tie-ins for those who read up to that point.
David's depression, Amy's revelation, and John's insanity all started out really compelling. That said, David's depression was probably the only thing that got resolved, in a manner of speaking and at the end of the book at that. Amy had this world shattering revelation that I thought would fill me with awful dread like in the second book, but it just kind of went away. Same with John. We have a fun at first with a showdown in a church which made me laugh my ass off, but every time after that that we switched povs, they just felt "less".
Like the second book compared to the first, the third is told in a different way than the second. We are given the character's world view and I felt we could have gotten much more with that. This is simply my opinion but I feel this book was overall just weaker than the rest.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Jay
- 2018-08-07
Disturbed Genius
Pros:
Unnecessarily vulgar
Excessively graphic
Surprisingly insightful
Cons:
Not enough soy sauce
Not enough pages!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Josh
- 2018-04-17
Hard to follow
Really hard to follow. I personally couldn't get into it. I feel like the point of the book was to kind of present the framework of a story but play around with the insides. This I believe, would be the appeal of the book however I am just not into it. I don't read enough to comment on much else, I personally dis not enjoy this book although parts were quite funny.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Tommy Ikare Desrosiers
- 2018-02-14
Witty, silly, smart
Listening to this was pure fun. The story is both silly and smart. The title really fit the narrative but as much as it goes in every which way, it is well build. The characters are great and the whole novel is highly enjoyable. Also the reading is masterfully delivered. Masterfully here meaning it embodies the craziness of the characters but is still understandable and not overplayed. Cudos.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!