Ever been told you’re “not fun” or “too serious”? Andrew and Cat unpack what fun actually means — and why chasing other people’s version of it leaves you drained. This episode helps you redefine fun on your own terms, whether that means karaoke nights or coloring budget charts.

• Fun got complicated. It used to be sticks and puddles; now it’s overpriced trips and curated weekends.
• There’s a bias toward extroverts. The world rewards loud, social fun — but quiet joy counts too.
• Authenticity = happiness. True fun begins when you do what genuinely lights you up, not what’s “supposed to.”
• Stop “should-ing” your joy. You don’t owe anyone attendance at events that drain you.

1️⃣ Define your fun. What genuinely delights you — not what looks fun to others?

2️⃣ Drop guilt. Rest and relaxation are productive; joy refuels creativity.

3️⃣ Practice authenticity. Say “no” to misaligned plans; say “yes” to what feels right.

4️⃣ Four ingredients of fun:

• Freedom – Do things with no outcome attached.
• Presence – Be here, not in your head.
• Connection – Lose track of time with people or passions that sync with you.
• Expression – Let the real you show up (no armor, no performance).
• 5️⃣ Replace FOMO with ROMO (Relief of Missing Out). Enjoy skipping the plans you never wanted anyway.
• 6️⃣ Audit your joy. When was the last time you lost track of time? Start there.

• “Suffering through someone else’s fun is still suffering.”
• “Fun doesn’t have to be expensive, impressive, or loud.”
• “When you say no to what drains you, you say yes to what fills you.”
• “Joy lives in small pockets — coffee chats, thrift hunts, puppy cuddles.”

• Try a joy audit: list five activities that make you feel alive.
• Add micro-fun moments — a walk, a playlist, a puzzle, or your favorite meal.
• Revisit childhood joy: What did little-you love? Can you bring that back now?
• Find your people: When you’re authentically yourself, the right friends appear.

• Cat: Fully funded her emergency fund after years of work — and found joy in tracking the goal.
• Andrew: Traveling to England with his daughter and seeing her reaction to Big Ben for the first time — pure magic.

• Website: fiveyearyou.com
• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou
• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Feeling stuck, numb, or like the light went out? Andrew and Cat talk about rebuilding hope—without toxic positivity. You’ll learn why hope is a brain-and-body shift (not a mood), what quietly erodes it, and small, doable steps to feel a spark again.

• Hope ≠ denial. It accepts reality and imagines a different future.
• Your brain likes anticipation. Even the thought that “this can get better” gives a healthy dopamine lift.
• Grief comes first. Feel it to free it. Then take one gentle step forward.
• Stories shape state. Borrow hope from people who’ve pushed through setbacks.

1. One good thing prompt: On waking, ask: “Why is today going to be great?” Name one simple thing (first coffee, a walk, clean sheets).
2. Anchor to the present: 3 slow breaths + notice 3 things you can see/hear/feel.
3. Borrow hope: Read or listen to a perseverance story (dating later in life, 52nd lender said yes, etc.).
4. Move a little: Sunlight on your face, a 10-minute walk, stretch by a window.
5. Purpose pebble: Do one small helpful act—smile at a neighbor, text a check-in, hold the door.
6. Future-you assist: Ask, “What tiny thing would future me thank me for tonight?” Then do just that.

• “Maybe there’s more for me.”
• “I’ve done hard things before; I can do hard things again.”
• “I only need a spark, not the full lighthouse.”

• Chronic stress, disappointment, self-blame → Practice self-compassion; feel feelings, don’t camp there.
• Doom-scrolling, heavy inputs → Curate feeds toward light, learning, and real connection.
• No direction → Choose a tiny purpose for today (make one person smile).

• Cat: The pure joy of petting the wiggliest puppy—five minutes of instant hope.
• Andrew: Morning sun + saying “good morning” on a short walk—connection lifts everyone.

You’re not alone, and help is available 24/7. If you think you might act on thoughts of self-harm, seek immediate help:

• United States & Canada: Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).
• United States (text): Text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line).
• Canada (call): 1-833-456-4566; text 45645 (Talk Suicide Canada, evenings).
• United Kingdom & ROI: 116 123 (Samaritans).
• Australia: 13 11 14 (Lifeline).
• Emergency: Call your local emergency number (911 / 999 / 112) if you’re in immediate danger.

If you’re outside these regions, contact your local health services or search for your country’s suicide prevention hotline.

• Say hi / coaching inquiries: hello@fiveyearyou.com
• IG & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)

We’re glad you’re here. Keep going—one small step, one spark at a time.

If you’ve ever rewritten a simple text 3x, “rescued” the dishwasher, or tried to schedule spontaneity… hi, friend. Andrew and Cat unpack why control feels so necessary (spoiler: anxiety + safety), the hidden costs on your body and relationships, and simple ways to loosen your grip without letting life fall apart.

• Control ≠ safety. It’s often an anxious mind trying to predict pain.
• It’s an illusion anyway. Habits create predictability, but outcomes are never guaranteed.
• There’s a relationship cost. Trying to steer other adults (or teens) breeds resentment; “let them” is often the loving move.
• Trade control for structure. Plan your response, not everyone else’s behavior.

1. Awareness > autopilot
2. Notice where you micromanage and name the need under it: “I want to feel safe / prepared / not blindsided.”
3. Micro-win: say it out loud or jot one line in your Notes app.
4. Own what’s yours
5. You don’t control kids, partners, coworkers, traffic, weather, or ride closures. You do control: your breath, tone, posture, words, boundaries, and next action.
6. Replace control with structure
7. Swap rigid scripts for implementation intentions:

• “If the plan changes, I’ll take 4 slow breaths, then choose the most loving next step.”
• “If a child melts down, we pause 10 minutes—shade, water, snack—then reassess.”
• Structure calms you without corralling everyone else.

1. Micro-uncertainty reps (build the tolerance muscle)

• Take a different route home.
• Try a new appetizer while keeping your go-to entrée.
• Sit in a different seat at the table/meeting.
• Leave a 30-minute block unscheduled—and let it stay unscheduled.
• Celebrate the reps, not the results.

1. Regulate before you react
2. Control spikes when your nervous system is hot. Downshift first, then decide. Quick options: box breathing, sensory grounding, a 60-second shake-out, cool water on your face, brief step outside.
3. → Want guided, under-a-minute resets? Try our Quick Calm Method: seven micro-tools we use daily. fiveyearyou.com/calm

• “I’m noticing I want to control this because I care. I’m going to choose calm first.”
• “Here’s the plan, and it’s OK if we pivot.”
• “I can’t choose for you; I can choose how I respond.”

• Fewer replays in your head after plans shift.
• More laughter when things go “off script.”
• Kids/partners volunteer more because they feel less managed.

• Cat: Flying to Canada to see Andrew today—so excited for an in-person hug!
• Andrew: Finished The DOSE Effect by TJ Power—practical ways to retrain brain chemistry and feel better. Loved it.

• Quick Calm Method (video course, < 60 minutes): fiveyearyou.com/calm
• Say hi / coaching inquiries: hello@fiveyearyou.com
• IG & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).