Showing results by author "Stephen Kozeniewski" in All Categories

When beloved cartoon characters come crawling out of her TV, army recruiter Gabriella Harman expects a zany romp instead of the hellish nightmare that follows. One night, haunted by her memories of Iraq, Gabriella downs a stomachful of pills and booze. When her favorite cartoon characters, the Kooky Toons, start crawling out of the TV, she assumes she is hallucinating. But soon Gabriella finds herself locked in a battle of wits and wills with Herman Hyrax, the world-famous, wise-cracking mascot of the Kooky Korporation.

What listeners really don’t like are dull werewolf stories. So, we tasked the horror community with writing the weirdest, wildest, most creative, utterly bonkers tails (ha!) of lycanthropic lunacy possible.

Six billion identical clones make up the entire population of Earth, and William 790-6 (57th Iteration) is exactly like everybody else. In his one year of life he will toil in suburban mediocrity and spend as much cash as possible in order to please his corporate masters. When 790's first birthday (and scheduled execution) finally rolls around, a freak accident spares his life. Living past his expiration date changes 790 profoundly. Unlike other clones he becomes capable of questioning the futility of his own existence.

Belladonna Beauregard is an ordinary Georgia peach, worried about nothing in the world more complicated than running around, fishing, and playing in the woods. Then the bombs drop. Instantly, America is reduced to ash. Millions die, and in the aftermath, a cruel, vigilante militia seeks to takes over the irradiated Geiger Lands from their base in Belladonna’s commandeered home.

Hardcharging army lieutenant Bickham Deth's only desire is to lead soldiers in combat. In the bloody winter of 2006, he expects to finally earn his baptism by fire on the streets of Kabul or Baghdad. Instead, he finds himself trapped in Oklahoma on funeral detail. Deth is honored to pay tribute to the veterans of Vietnam and World War II, but his patience is pushed to the breaking point by incompetent morticians, squabbling family members, and a mishap with the color of his socks that threatens to derail his entire military career.

The undead private eye everybody calls “Braineater Jones” has an axe to grind. Somebody plugged him and dumped his corpse in a swimming pool. Worse yet, his memory’s gone. He has no idea who killed him or why. But he’s damn sure going to find out. With a smartass severed head as a partner, Jones hangs up his shingle in the city’s undead quarter. When he’s not solving cases (poorly), Jones is always looking to keep his flask full.

After ravenous corpses topple society and consume most of the world's population, freighter captain Henk Martigan is shocked to receive a distress call. Eighty survivors beg him to whisk them away to the relative safety of the South Pacific. Martigan wants to help, but to rescue anyone he must first pass through the nightmare backwater of the Curien island chain.

A dying film maker determined to turn his own death into his most celebrated work of art enlists one of his former actresses, Annie, to assist. But when he relinquishes the directors chair he also relinquishes his power, and Annie has her own plans for this most final of performances. A haunting tale of sci-fi horror in which the women abused by the ultimate bad media man take exquisite revenge.

It happened here. Fascism came, wrapped in the flag and carrying a Bible. Nobody much noticed. Sure, a few traitors like to whine about their missing "rights," but it's up to the heroes of the Federal Bureau of Patriotism to silence them. When someone starts spilling FBP secrets, Captain Leo Nergali is assigned to track him down. But wait, Leo himself *is* the mole? Record scratch!

Just trust me, there are no vampires within this audiobook. Plenty of zombies, though. One of the short stories in this book features a zombie caveman, for instance.

For all of human history ghosts were real and they were everywhere. Then, one day, after a horrible cataclysm, they all disappeared. That was the story of THE PERFECTLY FINE HOUSE. But there are more tales to be told from that world.