Showing results by narrator "Arte Johnson" in All Categories
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Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead
- Written by: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
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Now is not the time to start that fitness program! Instead, laugh along with humorist Dave Barry as he debunks, demotivates, and delights on the subject of fitness. Hear his inimitable views on exercise ("the best time would be the first thing after Easter, but not the one coming up"), weights ("big-time lifters have turned into 400-pound hairy sweaty shapeless grunting masses of tissue. And the men are even worse"), and much more.
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Charming
- By Jen A on 2022-05-03
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Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Release date: 1999-12-16
- Language: English
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Price: $17.12 or 1 Credit
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The Case of the Case of Mistaken Identity
- The Brixton Brothers, Book 1
- Written by: Mac Barnett
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 2 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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It all starts here: The thrilling story of Steve Bixton's first case. Our hero has a national treasure to recover, a criminal mastermind to unmask, and a social studies report due Monday -- all while on the run from cops, thugs, and secret-agent librarians.
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The Case of the Case of Mistaken Identity
- The Brixton Brothers, Book 1
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Series: Brixton Brothers, Book 1
- Length: 2 hrs and 55 mins
- Release date: 2009-12-08
- Language: English
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Price: $15.15 or 1 Credit
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The Tell-Tale Start
- The Misadventures of Edgar & Allan Poe, Book One
- Written by: Gordon McAlpine
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 3 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Meet Edgar and Allan Poe - 12-year-old identical twins, the great-great-great-great-grandnephews of Edgar Allan Poe. They look and act so much alike that they're almost one mischievous, prank-playing boy in two bodies. When their beloved black cat, Roderick Usher, is kidnapped and transported to the Midwest, Edgar and Allan convince their guardians that it's time for a road trip.
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The Tell-Tale Start
- The Misadventures of Edgar & Allan Poe, Book One
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Series: The Misadventures of Edgar & Allan Poe, Book 1
- Length: 3 hrs and 14 mins
- Release date: 2013-01-15
- Language: English
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Price: $25.94 or 1 Credit
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New Treasury of Great Humorists
- Written by: Dave Barry, Jonathan Winters, George Burns, and others
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson, John Ritter, Art Buchwald, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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From the grand old man of comedy, George Burns to the up-to-the minute observations of today's everyman, Dave Barry, these great humorists share one thing in common: their very individual, often raucously funny perception of the world around them. Laugh and enjoy!
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New Treasury of Great Humorists
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson, John Ritter, Art Buchwald, George Burns, Andrei Codrescu, Bill Geist, Garrison Keillor
- Length: 3 hrs and 48 mins
- Release date: 2009-09-28
- Language: English
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Price: $15.10 or 1 Credit
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The Poetry of Robert Frost
- Written by: Robert Frost
- Narrated by: Kevin McCarthy, Melissa Manchester, Elliott Gould, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Drawing upon everyday incidents, common situations, and rural imagery, Robert Frost fashioned poetry of great lyrical beauty and potent symbolism. His language is simple, clear, and colloquial, yet dense with meaning and wider significance. This brilliant collection features some of Frost's greatest works, including "The Road Not Taken," "Asking for Roses," "The Death of the Hired Man," "In the Home Stretch," "Into My Own," "Meeting and Passing," "Mending Wall," and more.
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The Poetry of Robert Frost
- Narrated by: Kevin McCarthy, Melissa Manchester, Elliott Gould, Arte Johnson, Susan Anspach, Joel Grey, Afre Woodard, Roscoe Lee Browne, Michael Tucker, Jean Smart
- Length: 1 hr and 40 mins
- Release date: 2022-03-24
- Language: English
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And Then Arnie Told Chi Chi
- A Collection of the Greatest True Golf Stories of All Time
- Written by: Done Wade
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 1 hr and 37 mins
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This collection of anecdotes—from Golf Digest editor Don Wade—brings out of the locker room and onto the green an engaging treasury of more than 100 of the greatest golf stories ever told from the game's legends: Ben Hogan, Nancy Lopez, Fred Couples, and others. From Augusta National to Royal St. George, this entertaining, intimate, and funny audio takes you onto some of the best courses alongside the greatest players in the world.
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And Then Arnie Told Chi Chi
- A Collection of the Greatest True Golf Stories of All Time
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 1 hr and 37 mins
- Release date: 2022-07-27
- Language: English
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Price: $14.88 or 1 Credit
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The Cat Who Killed Lilian Jackson Braun
- A Parody
- Written by: Robert Kaplow
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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America's most beloved writer, Lilian Jackson Braun, author of twenty-four Cat Who... mysteries is now the subject of a mystery herself. In this spoof by one of her most ardent admirers, her beheaded body has been discovered in the men's room of a gay bar in Lower Manhattan. The police are baffled, and so it is up to Braun's eccentric writer friend, James Q. (Qafka), and his Siamese cats Ying-Ton and Poon-Tang to solve the ghastly mystery.
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The Cat Who Killed Lilian Jackson Braun
- A Parody
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
- Release date: 2009-06-17
- Language: English
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Price: $25.20 or 1 Credit
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Flux
- Tales of Human Futures: Book Two of Maps in a Mirror
- Written by: Orson Scott Card
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer, Arte Johnson, Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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This second volume of Orson Scott Card's five-volume anthology of short stories features seven tales exploring possible future scenarios for the human race. A fascistic government's capital punishment extends beyond death. Intellectually superior aliens from a doomed world choose Earth's dogs as their new vessels. Not-quite-human beings on an Earth wasted by biological warfare continously fight an enemy which has long been annihilated.
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Flux
- Tales of Human Futures: Book Two of Maps in a Mirror
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer, Arte Johnson, Stefan Rudnicki
- Series: Maps in a Mirror, Book 2
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Release date: 2010-01-08
- Language: English
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Price: $17.12 or 1 Credit
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The 7 Habits of Highly Defective People
- And Other Bestsellers That Won't Go Away
- Written by: Cathy Crimmins, Tom Maeder
- Narrated by: Cathy Crimmins, Tom Maeder, Mason Adams, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Better than CliffsNotes, funnier than Monarch Notes, and shorter than the originals - here is a collection of all the best sellers you've heard about! Includes: "The Fridges of Marin County": a hip California housewife finds brief happiness in the arms of an Iowa refrigerator; "Embarrassed by the Light": a guide for people who are self-conscious about near-death experiences; "Iron Tom": help your neutered cat regain his masculinity; and more!
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The 7 Habits of Highly Defective People
- And Other Bestsellers That Won't Go Away
- Narrated by: Cathy Crimmins, Tom Maeder, Mason Adams, Joseph Campanella, Richard Gilliland, Arte Johnson, Ari Meyers, Cathy Moriarty
- Length: 1 hr and 39 mins
- Release date: 2017-08-14
- Language: English
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Around the World in Eighty Days
- Written by: Jules Verne
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
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In October 1872, the fastidious Phileas Fogg—a British gentleman who rarely ventures outside the comforts of home or his beloved club—bets his compatriots that he can travel around the entire world in just eighty days. With his newly hired valet, Passepartout, as his traveling companion, Fogg embarks on a wild journey, traversing the continents. He is determined not to lose the bet, no matter what obstacles arise—and they do arise—in this classic tale of adventure and romance!
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Around the World in Eighty Days
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
- Release date: 2024-01-03
- Language: English
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The Poetry of Carl Sandburg
- Written by: Carl Sandburg
- Narrated by: Susan Anspach, Roscoe Lee Browne, Robert Foxworth, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Known as a "poet of the people," Carl Sandburg wrote verses infused with soulfulness and lyric grace, and his work was characterized with a love and compassion for the common man. Here is a collection of nearly 100 of his best poems, including "Chicago," "Fog," "To a Contemporary Bunkshooter," "Masses," and "The Great Hunt," as well as other verses featuring themes like love, war, death, loneliness, immigrant life, and the beauty of nature.
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The Poetry of Carl Sandburg
- Narrated by: Susan Anspach, Roscoe Lee Browne, Robert Foxworth, Elliott Gould, Joey Grey, Ernie Hudson, Arte Johnson, Melissa Manchester, Kevin McCarthy, Carl Reiner, Burt Reynolds, Jean Smart, Alfre Woodard, Efrem Zimbalist Jr
- Length: 1 hr and 34 mins
- Release date: 2024-01-10
- Language: English
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Price: $17.46 or 1 Credit
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Resonance
- Written by: A.J. Scudiere
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer, Gabrielle de Cuir, Carrington MaDuffie, and others
- Length: 16 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Becky Sorenson has found a cache of frogs with a very high mutation rate...and some odd behaviors. Dr. David Carter’s core earth samples seem to indicate the next polar reversal will be worse than predicted. And CDC researchers Jordan and Jillian are looking at a strange new disease. When the four scientists delve deeper, they discover they are all looking at the leading edge of a sweeping magnetic polar reversal. As humanity ignores their increasingly panicked warnings, the scientists will have to fight to save everyone...if they even can.
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Resonance
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer, Gabrielle de Cuir, Carrington MaDuffie, Stefan Rudnicki, David Birney, Rosalyn Landor, Arte Johnson
- Length: 16 hrs and 20 mins
- Release date: 2019-12-27
- Language: English
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Pussy Tales
- Mystery Stories of the Feline Persuasion
- Written by: Rochelle Majer Krich, B.H. Rogers, Lilian Jackson Braun, and others
- Narrated by: Meredith MacRae, Michael Gross, Susan Anspach, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Intrigue, crime, and murder create suspense in this edge-of-your-seat collection of cat mystery stories whose plots are all centered on a beloved feline, written by some of the finest, best-selling mystery writers of all time.
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Pussy Tales
- Mystery Stories of the Feline Persuasion
- Narrated by: Meredith MacRae, Michael Gross, Susan Anspach, Arte Johnson, Kathy Garver, James Sutorious, Reed Diamond, Robert Forster, Mary Jo Catlett, Dan Lauria, Sheila MacRae
- Length: 4 hrs and 4 mins
- Release date: 2019-12-13
- Language: English
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Price: $17.54 or 1 Credit
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Who's Killing the Great Writers of America?
- Written by: Robert Kaplow
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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What do best-selling writers Sue Grafton, Danielle Steel, and Tom Clancy all have in common? They’ve all been shockingly murdered in a manner both gruesome and appropriate to their style. Now, an extremely paranoid Stephen King is convinced that he will be the next victim....
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Who's Killing the Great Writers of America?
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Release date: 2019-12-10
- Language: English
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Price: $17.50 or 1 Credit
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Murder in America
- A Coast to Coast Collection of Murder and Mayhem
- Written by: Whitley Strieber, William F. Nolan, Jon A. Breen, and others
- Narrated by: Arte Birney, David Johnson, Perry King, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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A collection of coast-to-coast murder and mayham, including these unabridged short stories: "Vaudeville" by Whitley Strieber, read by Roddy McDowell; "Lucky Day" by Mary Higgins Clark, read by Betsy Palmer; "Starstruck" by Jon A. Breen, read by James Stacy; "Snookered" by Gerald Tomlinson, read by David Birney; "It Was Bad Enough" by Ron Goulart, read by Arte Johnson and Gee Whiz; "My Lovely" by Betty Buchanan, read by Joan Rivers.
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Murder in America
- A Coast to Coast Collection of Murder and Mayhem
- Narrated by: Arte Birney, David Johnson, Perry King, Roddy McDowall, Betsy Palmer, Joan Rivers, James Stacy
- Length: 5 hrs and 27 mins
- Release date: 2018-12-14
- Language: English
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More of the 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said
- Written by: Ross Petras, Kathryn Petras
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson, Jayne Meadows, Bruce Vilanch, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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In More of the 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said, Ross and Kathryn Petras continue their connoisseur's compendium of awkward utterances, slips of the tongue, doubletalk, and just plain stupid statements from politicians, celebrities, sports figures, social leaders and average joes.
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More of the 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson, Jayne Meadows, Bruce Vilanch, Ed Asner, Ed Begley Jr., Ben Kingsley, Michael York
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Release date: 2009-07-02
- Language: English
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Babies and Other Hazards of Sex
- How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home
- Written by: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 1 hr and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Dave Barry exposes natural childbirth for what it is: a pop phenomenon of the 1960's that, along with paisley bell-bottoms and creative sideburns, deserves a rest. His new book gives parents-to-be the hard facts they need. He examines the new federal law requiring prospective fathers to free themselves from their self-made macho prison - to laugh, cry, love and just generally behave like certified wimps.
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Babies and Other Hazards of Sex
- How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 1 hr and 34 mins
- Release date: 2009-08-14
- Language: English
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Price: $8.42 or 1 Credit
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Murder in America
- Written by: Jon A. Breen, Ron Goulart, William F. Nolan, and others
- Narrated by: David Birney, Arte Johnson, Perry King, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 27 mins
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Stories by Seven Renowned American mystery writers offer a delightful mix of mystery, suspense and murder in this new anthology.
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Murder in America
- Narrated by: David Birney, Arte Johnson, Perry King, Betsy Palmer, Joan Rivers
- Length: 5 hrs and 27 mins
- Release date: 2009-06-19
- Language: English
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Distant Danger
- The 1988 Mystery Writers of America Anthology
- Written by: Jean Darling, Walter Satterthwait, Margaret Maron, and others
- Narrated by: Roddy McDowall, Nancy Dussault, Arte Johnson, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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The stories for this annual collection of the Mystery Writers of America were selected for their strange and exotic locales. Breathtaking suspense, cold-blooded crime, and challenging twists - set in the four corners of the world - make this recording a chilling audio experience. We suggest you listen with the lights on!
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Distant Danger
- The 1988 Mystery Writers of America Anthology
- Narrated by: Roddy McDowall, Nancy Dussault, Arte Johnson, Peter Marshall, Andrew Stevens
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Release date: 2016-07-26
- Language: English
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Barbs from the Bard
- Shakespearean Insults with Modern Translations and Notes
- Written by: Stefan Rudnicki, Michael Viner
- Narrated by: Stephanie Beacham, Roger Rees, Susan Anspach, and others
- Length: 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Ever miss a prime opportunity for a snappy comeback or a perfect putdown? We all have, kicking ourselves later when we think of what we could have said. The well-aimed insult was never in better shape than when Shakespeare mastered the art of defining dramatic conflict with rapier wit rather than swordplay.
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Barbs from the Bard
- Shakespearean Insults with Modern Translations and Notes
- Narrated by: Stephanie Beacham, Roger Rees, Susan Anspach, Jamie Farr, Robert Forster, Arte Johnson, Melissa Manchester.
- Length: 53 mins
- Release date: 2009-05-08
- Language: English
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Price: $7.00 or 1 Credit
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