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In this episode of Midlife Sparkle, I’m diving into a solo chat about a familiar voice most of us know far too well - our inner critic. Mine’s called Critical Cassie, and she’s been with me since childhood. Maybe you’ve got one too - that little voice that tells you you’re not smart enough, not thin enough, or not doing enough. I’ve decided to give mine a name because it helps me remember that she’s not me - she’s just a voice, and I get to choose how loud she is.

I talk about how these inner voices form - from childhood influences, parents, teachers, partners, or past experiences - and how they can quietly shape the way we think and behave as adults. Cassie is the leader of my inner critic crew, but she’s got plenty of company: Anxious Annie, Guilty Gabby, Rejection Rebecca, and Comparison Connie are just a few of her sidekicks. They all have something to say, but it’s time we learned how to manage them rather than let them run the show.

During the episode, I walk through a simple but powerful exercise to help you take control. It starts with closing your eyes, placing your hands on your heart, and visualising your critic speaking. Then you turn her volume down - literally imagine her voice getting quieter. It’s an incredible reminder that you have control over her, not the other way around.

I also share how we can build a relationship with our critic instead of trying to silence her. When you accept her presence and even show her gratitude for trying to protect you, her voice starts to soften. She’s part of us, but she doesn’t define us. The real power comes when we start questioning what she says.

A favourite strategy of mine - and one I use with clients - is to challenge those beliefs directly. Ask yourself, “Can I say without a shadow of a doubt that what she’s saying is 100% true?” The answer is always no. We can change these old beliefs; our brains are beautifully malleable thanks to neuroplasticity.

This episode isn’t about silencing your critic completely - she’ll always be there - but about learning how to turn her down, understand her purpose, and live more freely.

Key takeaways and actions:
Start by naming your critic to separate her from your true self. Accept that she’s part of you but not in charge. Write her a letter, record a voice note, or even send her an email to express what you need to say. Then question her beliefs — are they facts or old stories? Finally, remember that building a kinder relationship with your inner critic gives the real you space to grow louder, stronger, and far more confident.