As a new year begins, many addicts and betrayed partners feel both hope and heartbreak—hope that things can change, and heartbreak from remembering all the years they didn’t. In this episode, we explain why traditional New Year’s resolutions often fail: they are usually made from reactionary emotional states, lack realistic structure, and collapse when real life returns. Instead of empowering change, these resolutions frequently deepen shame, reinforce hopeless identity narratives, and push people further into addiction or emotional withdrawal.

In PBSE Episode 314, we examine several common traps that sabotage lasting growth, including “blood oaths” and grand promises, punitive self-punishment after setbacks, and goals that focus only on stopping behaviors rather than addressing the deeper emotional and relational roots driving them. We emphasize the importance of reparative accountability—learning from breakdowns instead of shaming ourselves—and the necessity of planning for obstacles rather than pretending they won’t happen. Sustainable change requires humility, preparation, and a willingness to confront uncomfortable patterns instead of avoiding them.

Finally, we focus on two critical but often overlooked drivers of change: identity and environment. We explain how internal self-talk and identity beliefs shape behavior, and why becoming a different person must come before doing different behaviors. We also highlight how environments—relationships, routines, technology, and thought patterns—either support or sabotage recovery. Real and lasting change in 2026 won’t come from another resolution; it will come from aligning identity, environment, and daily practices with the life we are trying to build.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: How to Attain REAL and LASTING Change in 2026!

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services