A renowned sociologist and researcher reveals what we’ve gotten wrong about the mental load, and how women can refocus their energy and build the life they really want

The term “mental load” has become more familiar in recent years, but the popular understanding of the concept often reduces it down to managing a list of household chores and logistics. Sociologist Leah Ruppanner reveals that for women, mental load actually goes much deeper: It’s a complex form of emotional thinking that is invisible, boundaryless, and enduring. It’s not just making sure tasks get done, it requires thinking five steps ahead, keeping relationships intact, creating experiences that keep all members of the family happy and thriving, and more. In Drained, Ruppanner outlines the 8 distinct types of mental load performed across 7 unique stages, highlighting what makes the mental load so uniquely heavy for women.

Mental load burnout is the thing that makes women feel like they’re running at top speed but barely moving forward. Yet, most of us internalize the idea that our inability to keep up is our fault –it’s all in our heads, or we need to let go of perfectionism.

In Drained, Ruppanner asks us to see this burden through a fresh, paradigm-shifting lens. This book asks, what if we stop blaming ourselves and instead, make practical, impactful changes to our lives to prioritize our energy? With eye-opening, research-based insights, Drained offers a powerful toolkit to help women move toward the life they really want. The heart of the book is the Mental Load Audit, which helps readers assess where they are spending their time and attention, and shows them how to take steps to recalibrate effectively. Urgent and provocative, Drained will help women create richer, less overwhelming lives filled with more meaning and joy.