God's Blood these vampires are elf-like

First impressions are everything and were I reading this instead of listening I still might be put off my a multitude of corny instances... but when you get a narrator who sounds like an elf (the Christmas kind) when they read guy voices, it's very off-putting. When vampires sound like they have had a puff or two of helium, it's hard to follow a book and take it seriously.

Now add in the fact that a series of ridiculous instances starts off the book, including a very strong vampire breaking a tooth off in the plastic of a sex toy and a dentist that's afraid of blood, and this amateur attempt of storytelling comes of as a sad attempt of entertainment. I don't mean to be harsh, but with all the vampire novels flooding the market you really have to bring your A game as an author, and having vampires that suck blood rough their teeth like a straw, and then having their teeth be easily breakable, you'd think that they would have a dentist handy. But no, the only dentist is available is a hot young human woman with no connections who happens to be running from the mafia. And the mafia shows up on her dental doorstep right as the vampire does - gasp - and at the sight of blood, she faints! - insert sighing-fainty noise - Of course the vampire, who only two minutes earlier hoped for a guy dentist because he was so horny and could not hold himself back in the presence of a woman, not only falls instantly for this rare woman who can evade his vampy mind-tricks, but he now feels the need to rescue her by stuffing her in the getaway car and making her duck her head in his lap as they make their escape.

Oh and he says "God's Blood" every other sentence.

I really wanted to give this book 1 star but I guess another can go with it for effort since the author seems to have written more in this series. I just felt the need to warn others that this is definitely not worth a credit. Read about Sookie Stackhouse or Jane Jameson instead.

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I REALLY LIKED THE LOVE AT STAKE SERIES

IM GOING TO HAVE TO SAY THE SAME THING FOR ALL THE LOVE AT STAKE BOOK IN THIS SERIES. ALL THE NARRATORS WERE REALLY GOOD. SOME BETTER THAN OTHERS BUT IT IS DEFINITLY WORTH BUYING OR USING YOUR CREDITS ON. JUST MAKE SURE YOU LISTEN THO THE BOOKS IN ORDER ACCORDING TO THE BOOK # OR THE RELEASE DATE. ONE OF THE BOOKS IS NOT PART OF THE SERIES BUT PLAYS AN IMPORTANT ROLE. AFTER BOOK 9 YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO VAMPIRE MINE.

19 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

If Profanity is Called for, Please Use It

There were parts of the book I really enjoyed. But there were three issues that bugged me.

First, while I don't like books that have a bunch of unnecessary or unnaturally used profanity, when it makes sense and sounds natural, then use it. If I had to hear "God's Blood one more time I thought I would hurl my iPhone. Even a "Damn" would not have been amiss.

Next, I kept reading reviews about the book being funny. I didn't see much humor in the plot or the characters. The one obvious humorous reference was the trip to the dentist. And that wasn't cracking me up. Molly Harper does humorous vampires much funnier.

Finally, I didn't like the relationship between the heroine and her father. For some reason, that made me really uncomfortable.

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What a Shame!!

The writer is obviously talented and the premise is good. The shame of it is that the writer was on the right track to make it amusing and have it be a little serious and a lot funny, similar to Janet Evanovich's Plum series; but then, it gets too whiney, weepy, and serious. I might try the second one just to see if Ms. Sparks editor did her job this time but I won't hold my breath...

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Bored and not romanced at all :(

What would have made How To Marry a Millionaire Vampire better?

A different narrator and getting the story going more quickly.

What could Kerrelyn Sparks have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

More romantic scenes, getting the back stories started earlier, and moving the story along more quickly.

How did the narrator detract from the book?

Her nasal, whiney voice for the scienitst was grating like nails on a chalkboard.

What character would you cut from How To Marry a Millionaire Vampire?

It wasn't any of the characters, it was the poor plot line and slow moving story.

5 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

Not at all what I expected

The overall story was okay and it had its funny moments, but somewhere along the way the story lost or never picked up something. I'm not sure which, it left a lot to be desired. I truly expected more and kept waiting and waiting but it never came. Like I said overall it was an okay book. The story ends up being more about avenging old debts and enemies. It also has some of the most cheesy lines you have ever heard. If you ever watched old, old black and white Dracula movies then you know exactly what I mean, but the writer wants you to believe this is happening in modern times. Can't have it both ways.

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Love the Audio Book Experience

The "Love at Stake" series is one of my favorites and I have read every book through the current, in come cases, mulitple times. I enjoyed the audio book version of "How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire", and while the narration was not totally perfect, it was very good. For the most part I enjoyed how Ms. Cypress was able to vary the character voices and her treatment of the various accents of the characters. I particurly like how she captured the characters of Gregori and Laszlo.

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Not the worth book credits.

Is there anything you would change about this book?
Damn near everything. But if I to had to pick it would be the narrator and the plot.

What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)
Haven't made it and am not sure I am going to.

What didn’t you like about Suzanne Cypress’s performance?
Her entire performance.

Could you see How To Marry a Millionaire Vampire being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?
NO

Any additional comments?
I am not sure what else to say other then the author tried too hard. I just don't know if I hate it or not. I am honestly conflicted with my like or dislike for this book. I know I strongly dislike the narrator. But the plot is so very weak, but I am going to try to force myself to finish it. But I warn you it is not worth the credits.

4 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

Eleven Hours of Painful Listening

I am sorry, I really thought with all the reviews that this book was going to be funny and sexy. Instead I found myself listening to a horribly crappy books that ensures that I will not listen to this series or anything else by Ms. Sparks. The narrator was great. The whole take the hero on biting a blow-up doll and losing a tooth starts off well-enough. However, I have never heard of a hitman calling a mark to tell her the hitman is about to kill her. The whole premise of this book makes no sense. The vampires can't be in the sun, but have heartbeats? The herioine is afraid of blood and is creeped out by the hero but is so weak and mealy-mouthed that she runs away from him only to run back to him only to later lead a charge to save him by holding up a sword and saying a rallying cry ????? A cab is able to lose a government vehicle in a chase???? The vamps have pulses during the night and no other time (this I could live with). However, I can't live with or even find humor in the fact that even though the vampires are dead, they are getting fat from "fusion" cuisine and now the hero is introducing something called "Blood Light!" In addition there is an assassin female vampire who is not strong enough to lift a body? I found myself skipping whole chapters trying to digest this book. This was a painful listen and I could not think how this could get worse. Except it does. Her father is even more foolish. No CIA personnel would tell a mark that the CIA has been trying to use mind control on them. The whole premise of the book is interesting but the follow-through is awful. I did not find humor in it or have any interest in the romance. I could not waste 11 hours so I skipped multiple chapters so I could get to the end. Don't waste your money on this book.

4 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

bought for the title, keeping for the story

Title sounded good, and the reviews too. Once I got into the story, it kept me going. Think I'll try book 2 of the series. Vampire owns a pharmacutical company that makes special flavored blood substitute products for vampires, and regular blood substitute products to save human lives. Intersting story.

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