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I'm Afraid of Men

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I'm Afraid of Men

Auteur(s): Vivek Shraya
Narrateur(s): Vivek Shraya
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À propos de cet audio

Named a Best Book by: The Globe and Mail, Indigo, Out Magazine, Audible, CBC, Apple, Quill & Quire, Kirkus Reviews, Brooklyn Public Library, Writers’ Trust of Canada, Autostraddle, Bitch, and BookRiot.

Finalist for the 2019 Lambda Literary Award, Transgender Nonfiction
Nominated for the 2019 Forest of Reading Evergreen Award
Winner of the 2018 Alcuin Society Awards for Excellence in Book Design – Prose Non-Fiction

"Cultural rocket fuel." --Vanity Fair

"Emotional and painful but also layered with humour, I'm Afraid of Men will widen your lens on gender and challenge you to do better. This challenge is a necessary one--one we must all take up. It is a gift to dive into Vivek's heart and mind." --Rupi Kaur, bestselling author of The Sun and Her Flowers and Milk and Honey

A trans artist explores how masculinity was imposed on her as a boy and continues to haunt her as a girl--and how we might reimagine gender for the twenty-first century.


Vivek Shraya has reason to be afraid. Throughout her life she's endured acts of cruelty and aggression for being too feminine as a boy and not feminine enough as a girl. In order to survive childhood, she had to learn to convincingly perform masculinity. As an adult, she makes daily compromises to steel herself against everything from verbal attacks to heartbreak.

Now, with raw honesty, Shraya delivers an important record of the cumulative damage caused by misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia, releasing trauma from a body that has always refused to assimilate. I'm Afraid of Men is a journey from camouflage to a riot of colour and a blueprint for how we might cherish all that makes us different and conquer all that makes us afraid.
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Great insight into the way others can be forced to live in fear of of aggressive, male dominant society. As a woman I also grew sympathy for the unique trans experience, and understood the harassment, fear, and displacement experienced in society. Short, but articulated well.

Thoughtful

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What if?
What if instead of fear we become more curious. I am grateful to be able to hear Vivek’s story.

Thought provoking

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Liike everything Vivek does, this book is mind blowing. She offers a critical and thoughtful discussion of what it means to be masculine/a man (from the POV of a trans* women of colour who used to be identified as a queer femme man of colour who was living in white Alberta) and how women and femme people navigate spaces and their bodies out of a fear of men and masculinity. Does a fantastic job. Vivek is a wonderful poet, intellectual and writer.

amazing, must read feminist text

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I am grateful to you, Vivek Shraya, for sharing your experience. I've learned a lot from you in this short work and I look forward to learning more. I want to be better, too. Much love and respect and admiration. You and your work and your insight and perspective and humility are beautiful and wonderful and needed in this world. This should be required reading by all. Thank you.

beautiful and heartfelt work

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This was an incredible read. I learned so much about Vivek and her experiences but also gained a new and broader perspective of other trans lives. Thank you for writing this book Vivek.

Revealing and heartbreaking

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Vivek Shraya talks about her experiences with men—with straight men, with gay men—and how the performance of masculinity under patriarchy is fundamentally a performance of power over others and violence towards women, and how this holds true even among queer men. It's a thought-provoking piece. Listening felt a bit like hanging out with Vivek, a fireside chat dissecting gender of the kind I have with other trans women daily. Mainstream feminism would benefit considerably by paying more attention to our perspectives.

The Tyranny of Toxic Masculinity

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Shraya has written a moving, thoughtful, must-read book. It’s very short, and I probably could have spent even more time in her world, but I can’t recommend this enough.

A wonderful insightful compassionate book

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