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More Ketchup Than Salsa

Confessions of a Tenerife Barman

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More Ketchup Than Salsa

Auteur(s): Joe Cawley
Narrateur(s): Nicholas Camm
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It was while holding aloft a not altogether pleasant-smelling mackerel that the decision was made. The March rain hammered on the rotting tin roof high above the market stall, where I had spent the last six months pushing out dubious trays of marine life at three for a fiver. After a two-week holiday in Tenerife, Joy and I vowed that a life in fish giblets was not going to be our destiny and a life in the sun, was. A complete lack of catering experience, zero business acumen, and the sum of our vastly wealth barely reaching waist level of a ceramic pig did little to deter our enthusiasm for buying a bar. "Where do we sign?" we replied. And then the whole silly, sunny saga began....

When Joe and his girlfriend Joy decide to trade in their life on a cold Lancashire fish market to run a bar in the Tenerife sunshine, they anticipate a paradise of sea, sand, and siestas. Little did they expect their foreign fantasy to turn out to be about as exotic as Bolton on a wet Monday morning.

Amidst a host of eccentric locals, homesickness, and the occasional cockroach infestation, pint-pulling novices Joe and Joy struggle with "Brits abroad" culture and learn that, although the skies might be bluer, the grass is definitely not always greener. A hilarious insight into the wild and wacky characters of an expat community in a familiar holiday destination, More Ketchup Than Salsa is a must-listen for anybody who has ever dreamed about jetting off to sunnier climes, finding a job abroad...or anybody who has even momentarily flirted with the idea of "doing a Shirley Valentine" in these trying economic times.

©2012 Joe Cawley (P)2017 Joe Cawley
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