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Description

“One of the best books I’ve ever read on men’s emotional health and development.” Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and Models.

“I have read every self-help book out there, but this was the first that put everything together in a way that made perfect sense to me.”

“Every page of my copy of No More Mr. Nice Guy is highlighted in yellow. How did you know me so well?

A Nice Guy, according to Dr. Robert Glover, a pioneering expert on the Nice Guy Syndrome, is a man who believes he is not okay just as he is. He is convinced that he must become what he thinks others want him to be liked, loved, and get his needs met. He also believes that he must hide anything about himself that might trigger a negative response in others.

The Nice Guy Syndrome typically begins in infancy and childhood when a young boy inaccurately internalizes emotional messages about himself and the world. It is fueled by toxic shame and anxiety. Rapid social change in the late 20th century and early 21st century has contributed to a worldwide explosion of men struggling to find happiness, love, and purpose.

The paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is driven by three faulty covert contracts. Nice Guys believe:  

  • If I am good, then I will be liked and loved.
  • If I meet other people’s needs without them having to ask, then they will meet my needs without me having to ask.
  • If I do everything right, then I will have a smooth, problem-free life.

The inauthentic and chameleon-like approach to life causes Nice Guys to often feel frustrated, confused, and resentful. Subsequently, these men are often anything but nice. Common Nice Guy patterns include giving to get, difficulty setting boundaries, dishonesty, caretaking, fixing, codependency, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, passive-aggressiveness, unsatisfying relationships, issues with sexuality, and compulsive masturbation and pornography use.   

Since the publication of No More Mr. Nice Guy in 2003, hundreds of thousands of men worldwide have learned how to release toxic shame, soothe their anxiety, face their fears, connect with men, embrace their passion and purpose, and experience success in work and career. These men have also learned to set boundaries, handle conflict, make their needs a priority, develop satisfying relationships, and experience great sex.

This process of recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome allows men to move through:  

  • Depression
  • Social anxiety and shyness
  • Codependency
  • Low self-esteem
  • Loneliness and hopelessness
  • Feelings of failure
  • Lack of confidence and purpose
  • Compulsive behaviors and addictions
  • Feeling stuck in life

Contrary to what the title might seem to imply, No More Mr. Nice Guy does not teach men how to be not nice. Dr. Glover shows men how to become what he calls Integrated Males. Becoming integrated does not mean becoming different or better. It means being able to accept all aspects of oneself. An integrated male can embrace everything that makes him unique - his power, his assertiveness, his humor, his courage, and his mission, as well as his fears, his imperfections, his mistakes, his rough edges, and his dark side.

If you are ready to get what you want in love, sex, and life, No More Mr. Nice Guy will show you how.  

©2000, 2003 Robert Glover (P)2017 Recorded Books

Ce que les auditeurs disent de No More Mr. Nice Guy

Moyenne des évaluations de clients
Au global
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 étoiles
    466
  • 4 étoiles
    80
  • 3 étoiles
    39
  • 2 étoiles
    7
  • 1 étoile
    7
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 étoiles
    353
  • 4 étoiles
    80
  • 3 étoiles
    24
  • 2 étoiles
    6
  • 1 étoile
    8
Histoire
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 étoiles
    347
  • 4 étoiles
    80
  • 3 étoiles
    28
  • 2 étoiles
    6
  • 1 étoile
    9

Évaluations – Cliquez sur les onglets pour changer la source des évaluations.

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  • Au global
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    1 out of 5 stars

Not great

Dude's bright, an excellent snake oil salesmen.
He fills his book with obviously anecdotal fake stories of his teachings successes to prove how his methods are correct and can help you. But in actuality provides very little substance. His descriptions of a "nice guy" are general blanket statements...like a psychic throwing out various statements to see what can stick. Then offers no really ways to help yourself.
This guy is so full of it, he even admits to 2 failed marriages and having to run off and find a wife who can't even speak English (and he himself indicating he is learning Spanish). So how helpful can his advice be if he can't even communicate properly with women?
I found this book to be a waste of time.

5 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars

Worth the money.

I will definitely be giving this book a second listen. I've gotta say, this book made me feel pretty bad about myself. Because I fit too many descriptions and am guilty of much of what was written. But it's about time I opened my eyes. It's time for a change.

5 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars

Helped me uncover.

My therapist recommended me the book and I picked up the audio version as well. Helped me see and understand my nice guy side and expanded my own understanding.

I find listening to be decent way to absorb the information but reading it was much more impactful.

If you think your a "nice guy" I recommend looking into books about toxic shame as well because it's pretty much a precursor to the nice guy way of life.

I wish good luck to anyone trying to understand and improve themselves as I am undertaking at this moment.

It's ok to be nice but don't lose yourself in the process.

✌️

4 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars

Essential Material

Essential material for any man looking to improve his life, and for any woman who wants to be more authentic in relating.

4 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • JL
  • 2020-02-08

Amazing in-depth content, narration okay

Absolutely necessary book for most men in existence. He described me down to the last details. Already applying some of his strategies, and I plan on seeking therapy and support groups. Unfortunately no official NMNG groups here in Canada.

The only thing that bothers me is the quality of the recording. He seems too boomy and lower end as compared to other recordings. This means I can’t always understand him even at full blast from my Bose Bluetooth speakers while I do chores (or shower), because the treble end seems weak or overpowered by the bass, so it sounds muffled. Other books seem fine, cutting through ambient noise.

He also reads the whole book very robotically. I get that he’s trying to enunciate every word separately and clearly and slowly enough, but there’s almost no flow or life to his phrases. So you might start tuning him out if you’re not focused enough.

Definitely a book I intend to keep and listen to over and over again, though.

3 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars

Must have for any man, or woman for that matter

Must have for any man born in a western country. Any any woman for that matter. It's an important topic that is now being addressed by more leaders and thank heavens for that. This material can change lives, families and communities. #Audible1

3 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    2 out of 5 stars

NOT WORTH THE DOUGH

I've read 27 books this year, trust me when I say there seems to be an emphasis on word count in this book. I also didn't care for the narrator. I wouldn't have posted a bad review, but after having read this book it would be presumptuous of me not to given the subject matter.

2 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    1 out of 5 stars

Don't waste your time

My brother wanted me to read this book. Told me it changed his life. It just made him a bigger ass hole.
I gave it a go found it to be a big waste of my time. I should invoice Dr Glover for the hrs I wasted and will never get back.

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars

a book on codependents

Very good book although I'm not sure why he felt the need to coin a new term. You could replace the words "nice guy" with "codependent" throughout the book and it would still make perfect sense.

  • Au global
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    1 out of 5 stars

do not get the audiobook

boring narrator puts you to sleep.
A regular book you could at least skip the drivel or skim to the advice. but the audiobook you get lost in the drivel and then he says "the tenth way you can do blank.... What?!? when did he go over ways 6-9.
if you find yourself in that situation there are no chapter titles or annotation, you're just screwed.

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  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Heimana
  • 2020-03-08

Never date a nice guy

"Never date a nice guy", that should be the real title of this book.
For all the nice guys out there, this is THE therapy book that you need in your life. Go get some help if needed !

1 personne a trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • jonathan
  • 2021-05-16

good

this Book is easy to understand.
The author gives plenty of good anecdotes and exercises.
he embraces differents areas of life such as love, sex, money and happiness in life.

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Utilisateur anonyme
  • 2019-05-15

étonnant et utile

je viens de finir le livre et je vais appliquer ce qu'il propose de faire. Ce livre me donne le courage de vivre une vie meilleure et de me concentrer sur mes besoins en priorité

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • lou.walker
  • 2018-07-24

Perfect book for all men

A powerful book to improve the life, sex and love of any guys who feel lacking some part of them.
Perfect.

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Alexandre
  • 2018-07-14

Mind-blowing, life-changing. A must read.

Despite having already changed a lot of things that I didn't like in my life and having already read a lot of essential books about self development, this one contains gems and unique insights to help you get better.

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  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Charles Mckeever
  • 2018-03-25

Nailed me right between the eyes

As a 46 year old male, ex-Marine, and self professed “nice guy” I finally understand that all this time, I have been causing my own pain. It hasn’t been my career, my spouse, my friends, my environmental conditions. The common factor in all those things has been me. No more Mr. nice guy described many of my own internal feelings like someone was reading my mind. Things that I’ve never told anyone. Now that I have clarity on these issues, I now have a way to work through them to be set free. I’ve already applied some of the techniques with immediate results. Mainly because the change started with me, which then encouraged positive responses from others. So basically, now I’m in the process of reviewing all of my thoughts and actions to challenge and change the defaults. If you even think this book might help you, take a chance. I did and I’m so very thankful to the author.

72 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • throttle
  • 2018-02-05

literally fixed me

I struggled to find the answer to why my marriage failed and my ex girlfriend cheated on me. the book cured me of my condition. real help inside. actionable and practical.

28 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • The Adventure Medic
  • 2018-10-26

Life Changing

Every man needs to read this book. Period.
It's everything you missed growing up, and everything you need to be a happier and better man than you ever thought possible.
There's no clearer way to say this, do not skip this book. It literally saved my life, my relationships, and opened the door to a life I never dreamed was possible for me.

22 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 2018-08-09

Only for nice guys!

Overall, this book tries to explain the origin of the nice guy and why he acts like he does. Some good excercises to help overcome nice guy syndrome, but I only recommend this book if this is your first read on the topic.

13 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Sha’ul Newman
  • 2019-07-28

This book will end your misery!

I’m a veracious reader, I typically read/listen to over 300 books per year. This is the book that I’ve searched for my entire life. In the span of seven hours, I went from being a scared four year old boy to a 45 year old man. This book reveals why you have troubles in life, relationships and sex. It gets inside your head like nothing else will. This book is pure magic. Dr. Glover gave me my life back when he wrote this book. I’ve already listened to it 4 times and it will be a regular recurring read throughout the remainder of my life. I only wish that I had read it years ago. 5 stars isn’t a high enough rating.

10 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Justin Cain
  • 2019-01-29

amazing book

listened to it multiple times. cant say enough about how its helped me, in my personal and professional life. this contained innumerable revelations about why I do the things I do, and how to better myself in those situations.

9 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Bigslick
  • 2020-01-09

I consider this a very DANGEROUS book

As a reader of a lot of these types of books and having a personal desire to expand myself as a person I’ve read and listened to hundreds of different books. Having an MD/PhD I’m no expert in this specific field. However a lover of behavioral psychology this is some of the worst blanket compartmentalized advice I could ever give a struggling individual.

I’m not surprised a long lengthy legal disclaimer was read before the book started. It’s dangerous. Such an over simplification of what is not most often rooted in one single condition. I’ll be the first I suffer from some of the tendencies found in this book. However to categorically place people in two distinct buckets is scary scary practice. In a way the book read if you do xyz you also do xyz but are unaware. That’s incredibly dangerous talk.

Secondly the assumption that events rooted in family absolutely can cause resentment towards a family member. It’s as if the intent is to go fishing for a problem pick the closest thing say ahh that’s why and forgive.

The second even more critical flaw is that people are secretive. Sure. Great. Have a spouse read it as encouraged by the author. Problem. If your relationship is shaky you just opened a Pandora’s box of hesitation and speculation. You hav potentially created a problem deeper than anything this book can solve.

The one dimensional nature of this book frightens me. A lot of great psych books available to help uncover and work towards treating your condition. I can see this one causing so much harm. If your impressionable even more so. Creating ghosts you don’t have.

Give it a listen. Some decent Tod bits. But. Wow. This book is for a very very specific person and sure. Absolutely can help. I just fear in the wrong hands this book can be ammunition to a world of pain not healing.

8 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Bjorn Thorkelson
  • 2017-12-30

Practical guide for people pleasers

This book really resonated with me. It details many of the reasons and solutions for overcoming toxic shame. This is the updated version of the book. I’m not sure if the previous version had a pdf, but this one doesn’t. Tough to practically implement the recommended exercises without that.

8 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • David Rivera
  • 2019-01-16

dissatisfied with life? buy the book

exellent book! it helps you see, how you in childhood from not getting your needs met, adapted to patterns of not making a lot of trouble, not asking for things and putting other people needs before your own (to deserve love, attention or whatever you need ), and how that's making it difficult getting your needs met as an adult.
it forces you to see your darker, disfunctional sides and how you sabotage for yourself. it's hard and felt heavy sometimes, but in the end I think it's worth it.
it encourages you to seek support and help from safe people, therapist or join a support group, to help you through your problems and help you get your needs met. there are 45 different exercises with questions to help you see and change your behavior. I will listen to this book again and do all of them. thanks for a great book!

7 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    4 out of 5 stars
  • david rocabado
  • 2018-08-06

Very insightful...

Upon listening to the book, I listened the sample and from there it started describing certain things that made sense in describing the type of person I may be. So now I want to learn more in which I did, but it definitely takes another listen. So much information about what you can learn from being too passive and explains just enough for you to understand ways to control your niceness. I'm hoping to learn more the second time around, so I can better understand myself and how I treat others... thank you!

7 les gens ont trouvé cela utile