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The TORPOMETRONOMICON

10 Years of AcmeVaporware Miscommunications

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The TORPOMETRONOMICON

Auteur(s): Gary Clemenceau
Narrateur(s): Sam Bradley
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A tech-humor cult mainstay for over 30 years, this wayback AcmeVaporware compilation is arguably the weirdest and funniest tech-parody snapshot-of-an-era ever written. Author Gary Clemenceau is a seer and mad hatter of the first order.

Contained herein are all of (fictitious) mega-corporation AcmeVaporware's, "Yesterday's Technology Tomorrow" press releases, supersecret communiques, Powerpointless Presentation notes, impossible product manuals, and general Layer 1 colonic errata associated with a Decade of Tech-Torpor Under the Influence. As you well know, corporate press releases in general are a big stupid archaic waste of time -- and AcmeVaporware's corporate press releases and psychotronic phlogiston are no exception -- but they're the only ones you'll ever read all the way through, OUT LOUD, while laughing. So long as corporate life remains an inhuman slog through grey-minded cubicles, The TORPOMETRONOMICON will be there.

But wait, there's more.

An insane work of staggering Physical-Layer genius, The TORPOMETRONOMICON is not only the ULTIMATE in IT/network bathroom listening (BANNED by several big-name tech companies), it's also one of the few reference books on nearly every helpdesk from Alphaville to Zebulon. The Library of Congress has two copies! When in doubt, pull out the manual.

©1997, 2008 Gary Clemenceau (P)2025 Gary Clemenceau
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