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42. The One Where Your Obsession With Sleep Is Making It Worse

42. The One Where Your Obsession With Sleep Is Making It Worse

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 If you’ve ever spiraled about your sleep, tracked it obsessively, or woken up already worried about how exhausted you’ll feel… this episode is for you.

In this candid and practical conversation, Dr. Sarah Vadeboncoeur shares her personal journey with sleep anxiety, insomnia, and the relentless pursuit of “perfect sleep.” From overanalyzing Oura Ring scores to following strict sleep rules, Sarah explains how trying so hard to fix her sleep actually made it worse and how letting go finally helped her reclaim her evenings, her energy, and her sanity.

Whether you struggle to fall asleep, stay asleep, or find yourself up at 4 a.m., this episode breaks down what truly matters for good sleep, what doesn’t, and which habits science actually supports.

What You’ll Learn
  • Why Sleep Anxiety Makes Sleep Worse: How worrying, perfectionism, and fixation on sleep quality can create more insomnia, not less.
  • The Problem With Sleep Trackers: Why they are often inaccurate and can trigger “orthosomnia” (obsessing over perfect sleep).
  • What Actually Defines Good Sleep: Simple markers like:
    • Falling asleep within 30 minutes
    • Being awake <30 minutes overnight
    • 7–9 hours of sleep
    • Feeling rested
    • 85%+ sleep efficiency
Common Causes of Poor Sleep
  • Stress & cortisol dysregulation
  • Blood sugar swings
  • Hormone changes
  • Caffeine & alcohol
  • Circadian rhythm disruption

CBT-I: The Gold Standard for Insomnia

The five rules that can transform sleep:
  1. Go to bed only when genuinely sleepy.
  2. Get up if you can’t sleep within ~20 min (no scrolling!).
  3. Wake up at the same time daily.
  4. Reserve your bed for sleep + sex only.
  5. Avoid naps to build strong sleep pressure.

Quick Tips from Dr. Sarah
  • Swap your phone for a real alarm clock.
  • Take a break from your sleep tracker for a few weeks.
  • Eat breakfast and keep meals consistent.
  • Cut caffeine after noon; limit evening alcohol.

Resources Mentioned
  • Episode 16: The One Where I Quit Drinking
  • Dysfunctional Beliefs & Attitudes About Sleep Scale

Final Thought

So much of what impacts sleep isn’t physical. It’s mental chatter, perfectionism, and pressure. When you stop trying to perfect your sleep and instead build a calmer, more supportive routine, deeper rest becomes not only possible, but predictable.

Dr. Sarah Vadeboncoeur is a Naturopathic Doctor, mom, and fatigue fixer who’s on a mission to help women fix their fatigue and get the health care they deserve. You can find her talking about all things fatigue on Instagram and learn more about her services at drsarahv.ca.

The Fatigue Fixer is produced by Story Studio Network.
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