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505-How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story

505-How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story

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 How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story Sometimes, the couples who join our programs aren’t on the brink of divorce. They aren’t fighting all the time. They actually have a good marriage. But deep down, they know it could be better. That’s exactly where Jen was when she found Delight Your Marriage. “We Had a Good Marriage… But I Knew It Could Be More” Jen and her husband had been married nearly 15 years. They had three young kids, a busy life, and no major marital crisis. As she put it, “We were not in conflict with each other. We didn’t have any major issues that we were dealing with from our past. You know, no unfaithfulness, nothing like that.” Still, something inside her longed for more. She said to us, “I think the thing that drove me into it was knowing that our marriage was good, but understanding or having this feeling that it could be better.” She remembered a pastor that had mentioned Delight Your Marriage to her and from there, took the leap of faith to schedule a Clarity Call. And what she discovered surprised her. Through honest reflection and intentional questions, she realized that while her marriage looked peaceful from the outside, her heart was carrying something deeper: resentment. She had no idea that this resentment had snuck into her heart, but once she saw it, she was set on rooting it out. When Self-Pity Sneaks Into a Good Marriage Not only did Jen identify resentment in her heart, but she discovered she had also been carrying self-pity. In listening to an episode of the podcast on self-pity before joining the program, she realized the topic was actually hitting her heart. [For those interested: https://delightyourmarriage.com/393-the-sin-of-self-pity-aka-pride/] In that moment, God started something new. Through the program, Jen learned to let go of resentment and embrace gratitude. She began to see her husband not as someone who wasn’t “doing enough,” but as a man faithfully serving and providing for their family. That simple—but powerful—shift changed everything. The Power of Peace in a Great Marriage As Jen walked through the program, she noticed a transformation in herself. Through the "heart" work, she found that her soul was also being renewed and that God was was reworking things her heart she didn't even know where there. And the result of that heart change? Peace. With Jen getting rid of the resentment, putting aside the self-pity, and bringing in appreciation, compliments, and admiration- it changed the atmosphere of their homes. Jen’s husband even came home one evening during his busiest season, wrapped her in a hug, and said, “Thank you. I’ve noticed how much more peaceful our home has been.” She hadn’t been trying to get him to notice—but he did. What she considered a small change was actually impactful. “It was a change enough that he felt it too” How God Turns a Good Marriage Into a Great One When we allow God to transform us, our marriage begins to shift. Jen said, “Our connection as a result of, I think just the peacefulness in the home and between us and our gratefulness for each other has brought us closer together in intimacy…” Yes, even their physical intimacy changed! Before the program, intimacy was about once a week. Now? “Two or three times,” she said, smiling. And not only has the frequency been upped, but they are enjoying each other more (a major win!) And it wasn’t a formula or manipulation—it was the result of a softened heart. A Christ-Centered Model for Marriage Transformation As a former family life educator in her church, Jen had led marriage classes before. So she was skeptical—could DYM really offer something new? After completing the program, she said, “I haven’t encountered anything as beneficial, and that actually works as well, as what DYM does. And I think a huge part of that is because of, well, the commitment to Scripture and actually putting it into practice.” Jen’s favorite part? The women’s small group. “A place that’s safe, encouraging, and honest,” she said. “We prayed for each other, celebrated each other’s wins, and shared struggles without fear of judgment. I’ve never experienced community like that.” There’s Always More God Wants to Do in Your Marriage When asked what she’d tell another wife who has a good marriage but knows there’s more, Jen didn’t hesitate: “I think I would just say...wherever you are in your marriage, if you think there’s room for growth, then there’s probably room for growth. So go after it, go after it, go after it...I would, for sure say, do it with DYM, because I think it’s... I think it’s a powerful, powerful program.” Jen’s words remind us that “good” isn’t the goal. God desires great marriages—ones marked by peace, gratitude, and deep connection. Wherever your marriage is at: whether you're separated and not speaking or in a good place but wanting...
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