What if the birthday you plan is really a love letter to yourself? We dive into the messy, funny, and honest side of celebrating as adults—especially after motherhood—where a perfect day might look like a winery flight, three excellent pizzas, and the relief of not hosting. With our cousin Blair in the mix, we trace how birthdays evolve from glow‑stick college parties and $5 covers to intentional, low‑key gatherings that honor who we are now.

We unpack the tension between planning and surprises—why control can feel like protection against being forgotten, and how a good surprise should add to, not replace, a day that’s already yours. Motherhood reshapes the calendar, too: kids’ birthdays feel like your milestone, sleep is gold, and “doing nothing” becomes a worthy plan. From setting boundaries around hosting to embracing found family when you live across the country, we share practical strategies for making your day meaningful without making it a production.

Along the way, we swap stories: the Temecula party bus and the Uber that bailed mid‑ride, a teary 21st at midnight because a cousin wasn’t there, and the food memories that hold our grandparents close—Pop‑Pop’s spaghetti night, Nanny’s gift‑bag magic, and the pasta salad that gets requested all summer. If you’ve ever wanted to be celebrated but struggled to ask, this conversation is your permission slip.

Hit play for real talk on boundaries, joy, and the rituals that make another year feel like a win. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs birthday courage, and leave a review so more listeners can find us.

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