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Page de couverture de 62. The Science of Safety: Why Your Child's 'Difficult' Behavior Isn't About Defiance

62. The Science of Safety: Why Your Child's 'Difficult' Behavior Isn't About Defiance

62. The Science of Safety: Why Your Child's 'Difficult' Behavior Isn't About Defiance

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 Ever wondered why your child's explosive behavior keeps happening, even when you use all the "right" consequences and rewards?What if I told you that your child's meltdowns and resistance aren't about defiance or manipulation—but are actually their nervous system's way of saying "I don't feel safe right now"?My guest, Dr. Bethany Bilodeau, a behaviorist and sensory specialist who works at the intersection of trauma, neurodiversity, and nervous system regulation, has spent years discovering that traditional behavior management approaches often make things worse, not better.If you've ever felt lost trying to help a child who seems to explode over the smallest things, or wondering why school pickup feels like walking into a battlefield, this conversation will give you a completely new lens for understanding what's really happening.Dr. B's practice focuses on helping parents shift from managing compliance to co-creating safety and regulation with their children—particularly those who present as oppositional, anxious, or withdrawn. Drawing from neuroscience research and evidence-based interventions, she provides practical tools to understand the underlying needs driving behavior.In this eye-opening interview, Dr. B reveals how we can support our children's developing nervous systems while building stronger relationships in the process.You'll discover:* Why safety is the foundation for all healing—whether your child has experienced trauma, is neurodivergent, or is simply struggling with nervous system regulation* The powerful "stance of safety" that immediately communicates to your child's nervous system that you can keep them safe and help them co-regulate* How to recognize when your child is "stuck" in resistance and what's actually happening in their brain during these moments* Why pushing harder when they're stuck actually undermines your authority instead of encouraging cooperation* The science behind why proprioceptive input (like carrying heavy things or walking upstairs) can be your secret weapon for helping kids reset their nervous systems* How to use transitions strategically to help eliminate behaviors that drive you crazy—like Dr. B's genius approach to ending her son's endless burping* The early warning signs that your child's difficult behavior might actually be their nervous system protecting them from overwhelm* Why hydration, sleep, and movement aren't just "nice to have" but are actually fundamental to your child's ability to regulate and cooperate* How to read your child's body language to know when they're approaching their limit—including the meaning behind "whites above or below the eyes"* Practical strategies for back-to-school season that help prevent the inevitable overwhelm and meltdownsDr. B vulnerably shares her own journey from having a child who was asked to leave three different daycares to discovering the power of understanding sensory needs and nervous system regulation. She shows us how early intervention made all the difference—and how her son eventually exited special education services by sixth grade because he had developed the skills he needed to thrive.Most importantly, she challenges us to move beyond asking "How do I get my child to comply?" to asking "How do I help my child feel safe enough to cooperate?" This shift changes everything about how we approach parenting challenges.Ready to move from constant battles to genuine partnership with your child? This conversation will give you the neuroscience-backed tools to support their developing nervous system while strengthening your connection.Parenting overwhelmed kids is exhausting, and you’re normal if you feel drained, burnt out, and overwhelmed yourself when dealing with them. Join us on the FREE upcoming Self-Compassion for Peaceful Parenting summit to learn strategies to calm your triggers, soothe yourself mid-storm, and repair when things blow up. Click here to register for your free ticket. To learn more about Dr. B:https://www.thebehaviorbootcamp.com/ Connect with Dajana YoakleyDelight in ParentingStep #1 — Get the 3 Steps to Reset Your Nervous System FREE Guide or book a FREE 20 minute consult.https://www.delightinparenting.comhttps://www.delightinparenting.com/book-onlineStep #2 — Learn More about my signature online course: “Raising a Resilient Child”. https://www.delightinparenting.com/courseStep #3 — Connect With The Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/delightinparentingfreeStep #4- Follow me on Social Media:https://www.instagram.com/delightinparenting/https://www.facebook.com/delightinparentingcoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@DelightinParentinghttps://www.linkedin.com/in/delightinparenting/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit delightinparenting.substack.com/subscribe
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