A late-night knock. A daughter’s 911 call. A small town that knew Teresa for her bright laugh and steady hands in the delivery room now grieving the loss of a nurse who made people feel safe at their most vulnerable. Devyn joins Ingrid to share how her world changed at 14 when her stepfather returned after a divorce and pulled a trigger—and how she turned unimaginable trauma into a fierce commitment to protect others.

We walk through the details most people never hear: how abuse can hide behind “aloof” behavior and high-functioning alcoholism, why separation can be the most dangerous moment, and how grief rewires the senses so even the smell of morning coffee can carry the weight of gunpowder. Devyn talks openly about panic, nightmares, self-harm, medication, and the long, imperfect work of therapy. She also shows what action looks like: a decade of community runs funding the local domestic violence shelter, volunteering on the intake desk in college, and speaking publicly so silence doesn’t shield abusers. Along the way, she honors Teresa’s legacy—the nurse whose smile lit up rooms—and reflects on becoming a mother without her mom, rebuilding trust in herself by asking for help, and teaching her daughter that real strength welcomes support.

This is a story about domestic violence, yes, but also about agency, resilience, and the practical steps that save lives: believing survivors, safety planning, investing in shelters, and learning the signs before they escalate. If you’ve ever wondered how to help, or needed someone to say “don’t give up on yourself,” this conversation is a hand on your shoulder and a path forward. If it moves you, share it with someone who needs courage today, subscribe for more survivor-led conversations, and leave a review to help others find these stories. Your support helps this community reach the people who need it most.

Devyn’s 1in3 profile: https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/devyn-oneill/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

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Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe