What happens when the identity you built your life around falls apart overnight? In this raw interview, Dean Patrick—Stanford dropout, former crypto fund manager, and now author of God Money: Lost and Found in the Crypto Wilderness—traces the arc from early “prodigy” ambition to addiction, collapse, and a near-suicide on a 30th-floor balcony in Manhattan. Family pulled him into recovery in 2018. The years that followed weren’t linear: relapses, resets, and finally a shift from status to substance—trading a high-profile accelerator role for a humble job that protects the two practices that rebuilt him: writing and Zen meditation.

Dean shares how week-long silent retreats and six months living at a Zen monastery gave him a new center, why success without values is a dead-end, and how “boring, systematic” routines actually fuel creative work. If you’ve ever asked, Is this really the life I want?—this conversation is your permission slip to choose differently, start smaller, and build a life that can actually hold you.

• [00:00] Opening: identity, ambition, and the prodigy trap

• [03:00] Homeschooled faith → atheism → “my new god became money”

• [05:30] Stanford insecurity, stimulants for confidence, and the crypto fund

• [07:30] Tripling the fund… then the crash, panic attacks, and the balcony

• [10:00] The phone call that pulled him back; rehab and the non-linear climb

• [12:30] Two steps forward, almost two back: relapse, lessons, and four years sober

• [13:30] Choosing a smaller life to save the bigger dream (service job → space to write)

• [15:00] COVID as a reset; five years to write God Money

• [18:30] Thoreau experiments: raw land, a DIY cabin, and what didn’t work

• [19:30] Zen practice begins: Rochester Zen Center, retreats, and rigor

• [21:00] Zazen: posture, pain, and why stillness hurts before it heals

• [26:00] The field beyond thought: “no problems” and taking the edge off life

• [28:30] Stoicism parallels; spiritual materialism and the ego in robes

• [33:00] Monastery life: 4:00 a.m. bells, choreographed breakfasts, work as practice

• [35:00] Designing a “boring, systematic” routine to protect creativity

• [41:30] Publishing God Money, reader response, and the next (auto)fiction project

• [43:00] Closing: being as an end in itself

• Book: God Money: Lost and Found in the Crypto Wilderness — Dean Patrick

• Audiobook: narrated by the author

• Website: http://DeanPatrickAuthor.com

• Community/Practice: Rochester Zen Center (mentioned)

Former Marine officer and bestselling author David Richards shares how a life built on momentum—and other people’s expectations—finally hit a wall. From a childhood head injury and constant relocation to 15 years in the Marines, two divorces, and a pandemic-era low point, David explains how he began taking radical accountability and rebuilt his life from the inside out. The shift started with a simple but potent reframing: awareness creates reality—direct it, or life defaults to autopilot.

We trace the “judgment day” meditation that forced a life review, the mysterious “you’ve got a year” nudge from Jack Canfield, and the journaling marathon that became his books—including Love Letters to the Virgin Mary: The Resurrection of King David and Becoming One with Christ. David breaks down his three levels of mastery—intellectual, emotional, physical—and how daily incantations rewired his faith into lived experience.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re working hard but drifting, this episode is a compass: awareness, honesty, and everyday practices that create the life you actually want.

• [00:00] “Your mind is an ocean… your awareness is the lighthouse” — the premise of directed attention

• [03:00] Military childhood, constant moves, and an early head injury that changed everything

• [11:00] ROTC to Marine officer; 4 years becomes 15; realizing he’d followed his father’s model

• [18:00] Marriage, divorce, and the cost of living in two-to-three-year cycles

• [23:00] Choosing radical accountability; journaling to “reconcile with God”

• [25:00] The Santa Barbara mastermind; Jack Canfield’s “You’ve got a year” and the emptiness that followed

• [35:00] A “judgment day” meditation and a life review focused on love and relationships

• [41:00] From films to faith: patterns, King David, and a turning point toward Christ

• [44:00] A thousand pages of journaling; the title Love Letters to the Virgin Mary lands

• [46:00] “Tony wants to read your book” — grace and momentum, then a crash and reset

• [48:00] Subtitle inspiration and finishing the manuscript; launching Becoming One with Christ

• [56:00] Three levels of mastery & the power of incantations (from belief to embodiment)

• [61:00] Who the work is for: the religious, the spiritual, and the curious

• [64:00] Final note: “Life happens for you, not to you.”

• Website: http://DavidRichardsAuthor.com

• Instagram: @‌DavidRichardsAuthor

• Books:

  • Whiskey and Yoga

  • The Lighthouse Keeper

  • Love Letters to the Virgin Mary: The Resurrection of King David

  • Becoming One with Christ: The Lessons of King David

What if talk therapy isn’t enough—because your trauma lives in your body? In this episode of A Joyful Rebellion, world-record tap dancer turned trauma recovery coach Heather-Ann Ferri shares the raw story behind her work: childhood abuse, brain-level injury, and the long road from “performer with a mask” to a woman who uses her voice without apology. Heather-Ann explains why many survivors don’t remember early trauma, how perfectionism and people-pleasing take root, and the practical protocols that helped her heal when life fell apart: involuntary shaking, breath patterns rooted in Sanskrit, “medical-grade” hydration, and neurologically informed routines designed to calm a dysregulated system.

We also dig into shadow work, boundaries with family, and the difference between forgiving too soon and actually becoming whole. If you’ve ever felt stuck repeating patterns—or you’ve tried everything and nothing seemed to stick—this conversation offers a grounded way forward: simple tools, consistent practice, and the courage to tell the truth.

• [00:00] Becoming “spiritual people in physical bodies”; why language and behavior matter

• [03:00] Early home life, generational trauma, and the first cracks in the system

• [08:00] Abuse, dissociation, and how the body keeps score

• [12:30] Tap as first voice; when performance becomes protection

• [15:00] Why talk isn’t enough: shaking, breath, hydration, neurological protocols

• [19:00] Shadow work, ego death, and rebuilding discipline

• [22:00] Culture, religion, and the limits of “forgive and forget”

• [24:30] Addiction as unaddressed trauma; pioneers and influences

• [28:30] Kids, play, and screens: what the next generation needs

• [33:00] Past lives, programming, and widening the healing lens

• [40:00] PTSD in the body: feet, calves, and designing better protocols

• [42:00] The Guinness record—and when the healing made things look worse

• [47:00] No guru phase: listening within, then coaching others

• [49:00] Who shows up: common ages, patterns, and readiness

• [51:00] Boundaries vs. early forgiveness; becoming your own mother/father

• [58:00] Where to start: first-chapter download and next steps

• Website: Home - Heather Ann Ferri (first chapter download available)

• Books (upcoming): Three-part series on trauma healing with guided practices

• Influences mentioned: Alice Miller; Gabor Maté; body-based trauma modalities