Welcome to A Year and a Day. I’m Jaime Davis, board-certified family law attorney at Gailor Hunt. In this episode, I’m talking with Dr. Lee Baucom, a veteran relationship coach, therapist, and creator of the Save the Marriage System.

Lee shares his perspective as a "recovering marriage therapist," explaining why traditional marriage counseling often fails by focusing on communication—the "plumbing"—rather than the underlying connection. He breaks down how marriages often hit a "pause button" during busy seasons of life, leading to a slow cascade of disconnection that mirrors the symptoms people mistake for the "reasons" for divorce.

Together, we explore the concept of "The We"—viewing the marriage as a third entity or a team—and how this mindset shift can resolve conflicts over money, parenting, in-laws, and more. Lee reveals how one partner can unilaterally change the "dance" of a relationship to invite restoration, even when the other is emotionally withdrawn or "quietly quitting" the marriage. Whether you are looking to save your partnership or create a better co-parenting relationship, Lee provides a roadmap for moving from high-conflict combat to connection.

Need help from Lee? Discover his system and resources by visiting savethemarriage.com.

If you are in need of legal assistance in North Carolina, contact us at Gailor Hunt by visiting www.divorceistough.com.

Like this show? Rate it here!

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.

Welcome to A Year and a Day. I’m Jaime Davis, board-certified family law attorney at Gailor Hunt. In this re-run episode, I’m talking with Kate Anthony, a certified high-conflict divorce coach and author of The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision about Your Marriage.

Kate shares her insights from over a decade of coaching thousands of women through the agonizing choice of whether to stay in a marriage or pursue a divorce. We explore why women often stay in unhappy relationships for an average of four years before making a move, frequently choosing their children’s or spouse’s needs above their own. Kate challenges the cultural myth that "staying for the kids" is always the best path, noting that high-conflict or deeply unhappy households can create a toxic blueprint for a child’s future relationships.

Together, we discuss how to identify different forms of abuse—including emotional, financial, and spiritual—and the "frog in boiling water" syndrome that leaves many women desensitized to their own unhappiness. Kate provides a roadmap for self-actualization, explaining how to differentiate your inner guide from your inner critic and why personal development is the ultimate tool for a brighter future, whether that involves saving the marriage through qualified therapy or "saving the divorce" through healthy communication.

Need help from Kate? Explore her resources and order her book by visiting kateanthony.com.

If you are in need of legal assistance in North Carolina, contact us at Gailor Hunt by visiting www.divorceistough.com.

Like this show? Rate it here!

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.

Have you felt paralyzed by the thought of meeting a divorce lawyer, fearing that stepping into the office makes the end of your marriage a done deal? What if that first meeting isn’t about starting a fight, but about finally gaining the clarity and game plan you need to move forward?

This week on A Year and a Day, Jaime Davis sits down with her colleague Grace Massarelli, a family law attorney at Gailor Hunt who guides clients through the high-anxiety early stages of separation. Grace pulls back the curtain on the initial consultation, transforming it from a scary "point of no return" into an empowering information-gathering session.

They discuss the emotional intelligence required to navigate this transition and why the most important person in the room is actually you—the captain of your own goals.

Tune in for:

• Why the initial consultation is the first page of your next chapter and how it can set the tone for your entire case.
• Normalizing the "emotional soup" of anxiety, guilt, and anger—and why authenticity is more important than a strong face in the lawyer's office.
• The "Exposure Check": Why your attorney needs to know the worst true thing the other side can say about you.
• The difference between legal options and non-legal alternatives (and why seeing a lawyer doesn't always mean a lawsuit).
• Why North Carolina's specific "Year and a Day" separation requirement makes this process a marathon, not a sprint.
• How to determine if a lawyer is a good fit for your personality and whether their approach aligns with your desired level of conflict.
• Practical tips on what to bring (contracts and prenups) and what to leave at home (thousands of text messages and five years of bank statements).
• The "Choose Your Own Adventure" nature of legal fees and how to communicate your budget to stay in control of the costs.
• Grace’s three takeaways for anyone terrified to take the first step: It’s okay to feel, information is power, and you will be okay.

About Grace Massarelli:

Grace Massarelli is a family law attorney at Gailor Hunt in North Carolina. She works closely with clients at the outset of their cases, helping them navigate the complexities of equitable distribution, alimony, and child custody with a focus on intentional decision-making and realistic expectations.

Resources & Links:

• 
  Gailor Hunt Law Firm: https://divorcestough.com
• Follow Gailor Hunt on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/gailor-hunt-davis-taylor-&-clark-r-p-l-l-c-/

A Year and a Day is hosted by Jaime Davis, board-certified family law attorney at Gailor Hunt.

When facing separation, the fear and overwhelm of finances can feel like the last insurmountable obstacle to freedom. Many people, paralyzed by the unknown, stay in unhappy marriages for the money.

This week on A Year and a Day, Jaime Davis sits down with Lori Atwood, CFP®, founder of Fearless Finance, to demystify money management during and after divorce. Lori's firm provides objective, hourly, and affordable financial planning, driven by the mission that finances should never dictate a life-altering decision.

They discuss the emotional roots of financial fear, the practical steps to gain control, and the critical elements of building a secure, sustainable life post-divorce.

Tune in for:

• Why the question "Can I survive?" is often the last piece of the puzzle people need answered before deciding to leave a marriage.
• Lori's top two immediate steps for the "non-moneyed spouse" upon separation: establishing individual credit and gathering data on all accounts.
• Why the marital house is often "the elephant in the room" and why, from a financial standpoint, selling it is typically the cleaner and less stressful option.
• The financial pitfalls of nesting and why this arrangement is generally detrimental to long-term financial stability.
• Lori's simple spending tracker model that focuses only on two main areas—groceries and discretionary spending—to help people consistently spend less than they earn.
• The advantage of the hourly, no-commission financial planning model for divorcing individuals who need objective advice without the pressure of being sold products.
• The building blocks of a post-divorce financial roadmap, including cash reserves, emergency funds, and retirement savings.
• Lori's single most important piece of advice: The most critical thing to your finances is your happiness.
  
  

About Lori Atwood:

Lori Atwood is the founder of Fearless Finance, a firm dedicated to providing objective, hourly, and affordable financial planning. Her goal is to demystify personal finance and help people achieve financial wellbeing, especially during major life transitions like divorce.

Resources & Links:

• Fearless Finance: https://fearlessfinance.com
• Gailor Hunt Law Firm: https://divorcestough.com

A Year and a Day is hosted by Jaime Davis, board-certified family law attorney at Gailor Hunt.

Welcome to A Year and a Day. In this re-run episode, board-certified family law attorney Jaime Davis is joined by her law partner, Melissa Essick, to discuss how parents can successfully navigate the holidays after separation and divorce, focusing on reducing stress and building new family traditions.

Melissa stresses the importance of adjusting expectations: the holidays won't feel "normal" right away, but they will eventually find a "new normalcy" that can be positive for the children. They discuss why peace over presents is the guiding principle, and how a parent's calmness sets the tone for the entire season.

Melissa introduces her key strategy for surviving the holidays: Plan, Prepare, Pivot. She shares practical advice on when to start coordinating holiday schedules (at least two months out), how to handle logistical roadblocks, and the critical need for flexibility. The attorneys also review best practices for communication, including the use of tools like Our Family Wizard to maintain a calm, fact-based tone, and offer guidance on sensitive topics like introducing a new partner and setting boundaries with extended family. Ultimately, they emphasize putting the children first to ensure a stress-free and joyful holiday season.

If you are in need of legal assistance in North Carolina, contact us at Gailor Hunt by visiting www.divorceistough.com.

Like this show? Rate it here!

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.

Welcome to A Year and a Day. In this episode, board-certified family law attorney Jaime Davis talks with Thad Hollis, an expert in conflict resolution, divorce coaching, and mediation, and the founder of Better Outcomes.

Thad introduces his powerful philosophy: "Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional." He explains how someone in the middle of a painful divorce can begin to view conflict as a "gift"—an opportunity for positive change rather than a source of destruction. Thad shares his mediation and coaching techniques, emphasizing the need for clients to "find their voice" and shift their mindset from a win-lose battleground to constructive negotiation.

Jaime and Thad discuss common emotional roadblocks in divorce, such as the need "to be heard," feelings of unfairness, and the prevalence of power imbalances in relationships. They conclude by focusing on the ultimate goal: being kind and future-focused to ensure the best possible outcome for the children and the co-parenting relationship.

Need help from Thad? Contact him by visiting betteroutcomes.au.

If you are in need of legal assistance in North Carolina, contact us at Gailor Hunt by visiting www.divorceistough.com.

Like this show? Rate it here!

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.

Welcome to A Year and a Day. In this episode, Jaime Davis, a board-certified family law attorney at Gailor Hunt, focuses on helping children during family transitions by talking with Todd Sarner, founder of Transformative Parenting and a licensed psychotherapist.

Todd's work is built on Attachment First Science, which centers on the child's need for security in their primary relationships. He explains how his personal experience as a child of divorce inspired his mission to help parents move from daily chaos to lasting calm.

Jaime and Todd discuss why a child's behavior—such as resistance and defiance—should always be viewed as symptoms of underlying anxiety or insecurity, especially when navigating a breakup or divorce. Todd reveals why children of divorce often struggle with separation anxiety and feel unable to connect to both parents simultaneously.

They explore practical strategies for parents to unite, including the concept of "bridging" to help children feel connected to the absent parent. Todd also shares why he recommends a "parent timeout" over a child timeout when emotions run high, and emphasizes that parental self-care is the most critical factor in promoting a child's well-being.

Need help from Todd? Contact him by visiting TransformativeParenting.com.

If you are in need of legal assistance in North Carolina, contact us at Gailor Hunt by visiting www.divorceistough.com.

Like this show? Rate it here!

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.

Welcome to A Year in a Day. I'm Jaime Davis, Board Certified Family Law Attorney at Gailor Hunt. On this show, I talk with lawyers, psychologists, and other experts with the goal of helping you navigate divorce without destruction.

In this episode, I'm joined by my law partner and fellow family law attorney, Melissa Essick, to discuss practical tips and suggestions for creating a holiday custody schedule that works best for your family during separation and divorce.

Melissa and I explore the holidays most often included in agreements—from Christmas and Thanksgiving to birthdays and spring break—and break down the three main scheduling approaches: rotating, fixed, and shared/split days. We offer expert insights into crucial factors to consider, such as maintaining family traditions, the impact of travel and distance, school calendars (traditional vs. year-round), and the age of your children. We also offer advice on sensitive topics like gift-giving and decorations and stress the importance of flexibility and cooperation to reduce stress. Finally, we discuss what happens when parents simply can’t agree, and why a customized agreement is almost always better than a judge's standard order.

Whether you're new to holiday custody schedules or looking to refine your current plan, our planning tips can help you forge a holiday visitation plan that prioritizes your children's well-being and ensures everyone can embrace the spirit of the season.

If you are in need of legal assistance in North Carolina, contact us at Gailor Hunt by visiting www.divorceistough.com.

Like this show? Rate it here!

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.