When your child can't focus, melts down, avoids homework, or spirals at bedtime, it's easy to wonder: Is this ADHD? Anxiety? Or are we just in a fried, overloaded season? In this episode, we zoom out from the moment and look for patterns over time—while also using a nervous-system lens (fight/flight/freeze) to guide what to do today.

You'll leave with clear scripts and Tiny Wins to gather better "data" without spiraling into labels.

• Why ADHD and anxiety can look similar—and why labels describe patterns over time (not one hard afternoon)
• How to use a nervous-system lens in the moment: fight/flight/freeze as communication
• How "the season" (sleep, screens, overload, too little downtime) can be the loudest factor
• How small environment shifts can clarify what's underneath (and create better info for your support team)
• How to aim for calmer, more curious nervous systems on both sides—not perfect scripts

• Use the Big Feelings Decoder once a day (one moment only) to spot patterns
• Protect a 20-minute after-school reset (snack + regulating activity, then gentle transition)
• Try a 10% "load lift" for two weeks (sleep, schedule, screens, homework cap + teacher email if needed)
• Bedtime worry script: write down "what if" thoughts and save them for "tomorrow-brain"

• Detective mode (not labels): "We don't have to figure this out today. We're collecting clues."
• Nervous system translation: "Your body is having a fight/flight/freeze moment. I'm here. Let's help your body feel safe first."
• When focus falls apart: "Looks like your brain is overloaded. Let's do a reset, then choose one tiny next step."
• 10% load lift: "For two weeks, we're making this a little easier while we learn what helps."
• After-school reset: "First snack and reset—then we'll talk about what's next."
• Bedtime worries: "Let's put those 'what if' thoughts on paper for tomorrow-brain. Nighttime brain is not the boss."

• "ADHD and anxiety are labels that describe patterns over time. In the moment, your child's behavior is their nervous system talking."
• "You are becoming a curious detective, not a frantic diagnostician."
• "This is data, not a disaster. I'm learning how my child's brain works in this season."

Join the Tiny Wins email list + download the free Big Feelings Decoder:

If you're parenting a big-feeling, strong-willed kid and you're thinking, "What is happening right now?" — I made something for you. Get simple, brain-based support for parenting big feelings—plus a quick guide to help you decode what's really going on underneath meltdowns and shutdowns. Big Feelings Decoder