Happy Holidays Aardvarkians! Welcome to "My Worst Christmas." No Hans Gruber did not take over my Christmas Party, I received my Christmas bonus this year, but I wouldn't mind a one-year subscription to the Jelly of the Month Club, and I didn't spend all my bonus on removing my son's tattoo and betting on Santa's Little Helper. My worst Christmas involved just some light B & E and a lifetime supply of mild trauma. Enjoy!

It’s time for Garbage Plate #5! Your beloved comedy podcast, Aardvark Avarice, delivers a fresh, chaotic batch of absurd and relatable humor. This week, we cover developing "deer-dar" on the road, the mind-blowing discovery of seamless socks, why all new employees get the absolute worst desk chair, and the creation of a brilliantly stupid new hero, The Foot. Tune in for the best funny podcast stories you won't hear anywhere else!

My Prefrontal Cortex Was Infiltrated by AI (and Now I Want to Ride an Emu). Is your AI friend trying to infiltrate your brain? In this episode enjoy a freaky, cheeky conversation with Microsoft Copilot (Byte), then swerve into pure chaos with the true story of an uncatchable emu terrorizing the town of Spilsby. Throw in smart toasters, secret plans for world domination, and the perils of trying to ride an emu at a petting zoo and you can say this episode has it all!

“Now the story of a common family, with common lives, living as commonly as can be. They are The Blums.”

When Ari avoids intimacy, Talia investigates, uncovering the surprising link between cable news and their bedroom life. In this satirical comedy discover how horizontal stripes, PTSD, and Fox News are just a few of the challenges when it comes to a happy marriage.

Tired of close talkers, unsolicited back-pats, and aggressive huggers? Are you repulsed by plutonic physical contact, or even close proximity by anyone not called Mom, Wife, Son or Daughter? If so, then this episode's for you. Provided you are willing to hedge the fine line of social acceptability, this episode will teach you how to repel social encroachers with extreme prejudice. This podcast does come with a warning, however. Side effects may include extreme social awkwardness, a permanent personal space bubble, and possible legal issues. Cheers!

Happy Holidays and welcome to Aardvark Avarice's "A Very Jaded Christmas." This is for all those poor sad sacks like me who look around and want to celebrate Christmas, want to feel the joy, want to revel in all its magnificence, but you just can’t. Well, I figured it out, and you can too. You just might have to do things a little – different. Why don't you hit "play", and I'll tell you how.

Borture – the unofficial term for the “torture” that “boredom” puts us ADHD Atypicals through. In this podcast, I illustrate my struggles and hatred of Committee and Staff Meetings and the extremes I go through to combat the excruciating borture they put me through. Would I publicly record this podcast naked to avoid a Staff Meeting? You bet your booties I would. Enjoy! Clothed or naked. That’s up to you.

Back by unpopular demand, I am very excited about the return of super villain, The Evil Genius. In this episode, he will give us updates on his nefarious ways including the addition of a sidekick. Also, we bring on a surprise special guest. Cheers!