Although this would ordinarily be my week for a blog, I must admit I am completely consumed with getting ready for Oxford which is sneaking up fast! So I decided I would talk to you instead. Thus this video.

Serendipitously I received an email from a woman across the world, who is struggling with her present day relationships with family and requested that I record some videos on that subject. As it happens, I have a whole book in my head on the topic. So I made this video about that. A complicated subject, it is not all good news, but mostly, as far as I am concerned!

In case you were wondering, I do enjoy getting you emails! And I read them all!

As champion of the invisible, I am always looking to raise awareness about individuals and groups who are unseen, ignored, excluded, misunderstood or worse. Where I live in San Francisco, USA, there is a relatively high level of diversity, but even here some minorities including sexual minorities continue to be marginalized.

Since I have lived here, when food shopping at my favorite store down on Folsom Street, one weekend of the year, it is crowded with black leather and bare cheeks: the Folsom Street Fair, the annual celebration of Kink and BDSM (Bondage-Discipline Dominance and Submission.) It brings about 400,000 people to town, a not-trivial minority. Yet recently when I learned the term GSRD (Gender, Sexuality and Relationship Divergent) as a replacement for the not inclusive enough “alphabet soup” of LGBTQI+, it was brought to my attention that there is no letter in the soup representing kink. When first becoming a sex therapist in 1999 I began to learn about Kink, which is the larger umbrella term for BDSM, and it became clear to me how little I knew and understood about it, and how I had always viewed it through a trauma lens. I am still trying to understand it but continue to learn.

At a recent conference in New York, where I spoke about neglect, a man came and introduced himself to me. He resembled the men I see on Folsom Street, except for the cheeks of course. I could see it in his face when he told me how much hearing about neglect spoke to him. He is Joshua Rodriguez. I am delighted to present Joshua as our guest for today.

What Joshua speaks about may sound foreign to many of us, as some BDSM practices have to me. Some people’s idea of pleasure I continue to work hard to understand. We are not recommending anything here.

“Don’t try this at home!”

I continue to be devoted to the Six Principles of Sexual Health. Please join us in practicing inclusivity!

The Six Principles of Sexual Health (courtesy of Doug Braun-Harvey):

1. Consent

2. Non-exploitation

3. Honesty

4. Shared Values

5. Protection from sexually transmitted infections

6. Pleasure

This week's video, is kind of a "mash-up," an informal mix of news and update, a bit of apology for being irregular and unreliable with my posts, and a bit of a preview of coming attractions.

Hoping all are managing the abounding "instabilities" around us all: heat, fires, war, an increasingly expensive daily life...

Today's song fits with the "mash-up" theme. It doesn't directly relate to the content of the video, but I love the song, and the song's video!

Hope you enjoy it too, and are getting some time for pleasure this summer! (or whatever season it is in your country!)