As I return from the flurry of conferences of the last three months, I am dizzy with all the change in myself. It takes a while to locate myself, and see an up to date version in the mirror. After so many years of being invisible and on the outside of everything (or at least that was my self-image) and consciously or unconsciously scared all the time, I feel jarringly different, at least much of the time. Other times I feel that same old way. When we do a lot of healing work, and grow, we change in all kinds of ways. And I remember learning somewhere long ago, that with the ongoing biology of cell division and re-generation, even seven years, our whole body has had a re-fresh.

Kind of a refreshing thought, no?

This process of updating files, requires time, integration, and humility, as some of the change that comes with aging, is less welcome. And because sometimes we lapse into old ways, at least for a minute, I also remember the words, there is no mirror like an old friend! Someone who has witnessed the changes and continued to update their files about us.

On the note of changes. Admittedly I have always hated yoga, at least the idea of it. When I started having issues with my neck and spine, it was strongly recommended to me that I try yoga. When Janina fisher made a strong recommendation for this person, I could not ignore it. I contacted De West. For a long time I would emphatically say, "I hate yoga”, but I LOVE my teacher. Now I have even come to like it. When she told me about her upcoming free webinar, I had to share it with you.

I'm glad to be home!

Note: this podcast was recorded prior to the 37th Annual Boston International Trauma Conference, which took place May 27-30, 2026.

May means many things to many people. In California, USA, it is Cheese Month! Here in the US and some other countries, it brings Mother's Day. For those with histories of trauma and neglect, Mother's Day may be a day of bittersweet or even only bitter memories. My husband an I are not parents and both of our mother's are long passed, so it is a regular Sunday. But admittedly I cannot think of May without remembering the fateful day of May 25, 2020 when George Floyd was murdered by police in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I think of him throughout the year.

Recently I heard an announcement about a designated "Martyr's Day", scheduled for July to commemorate the many lives lost in the long and enduring fight for Civil Rights. I also learned that there was a Martyr's Day declared on January 30 to memorialize the date of Mahatma Gandhi's assassination in 1948.

This year on May 8th we will observe Martyr's Day in our house. All those visible and invisible who made great personal sacrifices of one kind or another in the service of a better world.

Giving and receiving are delicate matters for survivors of neglect trauma. Many, if not most, are much more comfortable on the giving side of the equation - up to a point. Equation is an apt word here, because often, there is some sort of conscious or unconscious calculus of what the gift is “worth,” what it merits or warrants in return, or what it means.

It is especially tricky when it comes to gifts to or from the therapist. There is a wide range of philosophical, theoretical and ethical standpoints on this, and a world of varying experiences.

In this week’s video we dip in to that deep subject.