Paul V. takes us on a wild ride that’s harrowing and hilarious-–often at the same time! From touring the country as a rising rock star to finding love on the set of Independence Day to living in a van, Paul’s life has had few dull moments, at least the way he tells it! His addiction adventures finally led him to recovery and now he finds that his dreams are coming true in improbable ways.

Key Topics & Themes Discussed:

• A Turbulent Childhood: Paul recounts early experiences of feeling unsafe and seeking escape in video games, caffeine and sugar.
• The Path to Addiction: Discover how Paul's initial anti-drug stance dissolved after trying marijuana and how alcohol quickly became his drug of choice.
• Rockstar Dreams and Reality: Paul vividly describes joining a Ska-Punk band, touring extensively, and living his dream rockstar life. His dream came to a crushing end when he was kicked out of the band because of his using.
• Hitting Rock Bottom (Again and Again): Hear about Paul's descent into heroin use, his time on methadone, a severe depression that led him to cry out for "God help me," and a shocking relapse on Kratom (found at a 7-Eleven) that left him "scared of people" and eating under blankets in rehab.
• Embracing the 12 Steps:Paul shares his initial resistance to the 12 steps, including an audacious attempt to get Step 6 changed due to his "ego." He details his journey through NA and SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous), and the profound insights gained from doing his first inventory, realizing his own part in past betrayals.
• Living Dreams in Recovery: Discover how Paul's life transformed from homelessness in a van under a freeway overpass to teaching art to special needs children ("Mr. Paul"). He shares the joy of making music again, playing in a band, and seeing his childhood dreams come true through the power of connection and service.

Memorable Quotes:

• "Are you mocking me, street? Because I have not won anything." – Paul on driving down Victory Boulevard every day to a methadone clinic.
• "I would tweak out and play my game all night, stay up all night, and then… I would take a bus to the dealer." – Paul on his early video game addiction.
• "You're never too old to live your dreams and live your purpose and give your gift to the world." – A powerful message Paul received from a stranger.
• "Alcoholism is an entity. It's alive, it's a renegade AI. My brain is nothing but an organic computer.".

Definitions:

• SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous): A 12-step fellowship for individuals who struggle with sex and love addiction.
• Men's Stag: A meeting (often in 12-step fellowships) exclusively for men.
• Section 8: A government housing program in the United States that helps low-income families, the elderly, and people with disabilities afford safe and decent housing.
• In-N-Out: A popular regional fast-food chain in the Western United States known for its burgers and simple menu.
• Kratom: An herbal extract from a Southeast Asian tree that has opioid-like effects and can be addictive.
• MusicCares: A non-profit organization that provides health and human services resources for music people.
• Dual Diagnosis: The co-occurrence of a mental health disorder and a substance use disorder.

Links:

28th Annual Musicians’ Picnic - Sunday, September 21st 2025

Erik unpacks his journey through addiction and the ongoing miracle of his recovery. From navigating a childhood with an alcoholic stepfather and a teetotaler mother, to finding his "arrival" in the numbing embrace of alcohol, Erik talks about the insidious progression of substance use. He shares his dive into drugs like LSD and marijuana, the isolation of his drinking, and the "involuntary spiritual experience" that finally led him to the rooms of recovery. Erik's story is a testament to the power of willingness to let a higher power do the heavy lifting.

Key Topics & Themes Discussed:

• Family & Early Influences: Erik reflects the complex family dynamics surrounding substance use.
• The "High Bottom" Experience: Erik provides a candid definition of a "high bottom" addict – someone whose life outwardly appears functional, but whose internal world is consumed by addiction, often leading to deep isolation.
• The Allure of Escape: He describes the powerful draw of his first drink, the feeling of stress melting away, and the rapid progression from social drinking to daily consumption and drug use, including "robotripping."
• The Path to Recovery: Erik details his "moment of clarity" at Harvard Square, the promise he made to himself to attend AA by July 4th, and his initial, skeptical entry into a Zoom meeting called "Zombies."
• The Power of Sponsorship & Steps: The conversation delves into the crucial role of a sponsor, Erik’s personal insights into Step 4 (including his unique method for getting sponsees through it), and how humility redefined his understanding of service.
• Transformation & New Beginnings: Erik shares the profound shifts in his life, from making amends for past harms to experiencing real emotional relief and finding joy in previously unimaginable achievements, emphasizing the spiritual and neurological changes sobriety brings.

Memorable Quotes:

• "I discovered that if I could be on LSD and drink and smoke weed, that was just like the perfect combination."
• "I just didn't have it in me to do that because ultimately I want to live." - On being on the brink of suicide.
• "I told myself, if you can make it past the Fourth of July, you'll go to AA. You'll give AA an honest shot."
• "It just started to become easier." - On walking past the liquor aisle without obsession.
• "I knew the promises were true. I just, I just didn't think it was possible. I didn't think it was for me."
• "Remember this feeling. Not the pink cloud, but when I first noticed that, 'Wow, I actually feel something and it feels good.'" - Erik's advice for retaining positive feelings in early sobriety.

For more information on recovery resources, please visit RTFB.com

Izzy shares her journey through active addiction and into a vibrant recovery. She opens up about her dual diagnosis of PTSD and severe anxiety, how her desire to escape herself led to blacking out on Vicodin and booze at 14, addiction to inhalants and psychedelics and an abusive 20-year marriage. Izzy’s story illuminates the insidious nature of the disease. and the profound miracles she's found in working the 12 Steps. John and Jason find deep identification with Izzy's struggles, particularly around the perils of "alcoholic thinking" and the unique challenges of early recovery. As usual, we laugh at all the wrong things and a good time is had by all.Key Topics & Themes Discussed:

• Early Onset Addiction: Izzy shares her first experiences with Vikodin and alcohol, the immediate sense of "unlocking a secret," and blacking out at age 14.
• The Path of Self-Destruction: How addiction derailed her academic and career aspirations, leading to polysubstance abuse and an abusive marriage driven by a desire to avoid self-responsibility.
• Dual Diagnosis & Trauma: The impact of severe anxiety, PTSD, and the connection between unresolved trauma and the urge to escape reality.
• "Whack-a-Mole" Addiction: Izzy's experience of getting off one substance only to immediately pick up another, illustrating the core problem being the addiction itself.
• The Power of the 12 Steps: Her initial resistance to AA, the "homework" from her therapist that led her to her first meeting, and how embracing the steps (especially after addressing underlying issues) transformed her life.
• Sponsorship & Service: The profound impact of sponsoring others, the challenges of losing a sponsee to overdose, and the "gift" of seeing her darkest experiences help others.
• Spirituality & Self-Efficacy: Izzy’s journey from scientific atheist to believing in a "guardian angel" therapist, and how recovery helped her regain a sense of self-worth and purpose.
• The Dangers of "Alcoholic Thinking": The group deeply identifies with the self-centeredness, grandiosity, and self-pity that define active addiction and how it creeps back in.
• The Serenity Prayer & Gratitude: Daily practices that help Izzy stay sober and avoid the pitfalls of her thinking.

Memorable Quotes:

• I was afraid to be a human and I didn't like it here. I hated Earth.”
• “I was really on this amazing path and I completely fucked it all up. Partly because of the drinking and using, but partly because of the alcoholic thinking.”
• I started doing all sorts of drugs…And I thought that I was connecting with God. I thought it was my secret to connecting with God. There was this thought that then. I remember thinking that, you know, I bet there's a way to like this without drugs. And I hope that someday I get to experience that.”
• "There are three words an alcoholic can say that are the most dangerous, and it's ‘I’VE BEEN THINKING’”
• "My life has really become, is becoming, more and more amazing." – On the transformative power of recovery.

MySpiritualToolKit.com

For more information on recovery resources, please visit RTFB.com