If PDA parenting feels harder than anything you were prepared for, I want you to hear this clearly: you are not failing.

In this episode of the Attuned Spectrum Podcast, I explain why PDA, or Pathological Demand Avoidance, is not a behavioural issue — it is a nervous system response. For PDA autistic children, refusal, control, and what is often called “equalising behaviour” are survival strategies used to restore safety when demands feel overwhelming.

I break down why traditional parenting advice so often backfires in PDA autism parenting, especially approaches based on compliance, rewards, consequences, or reasoning in the moment. These strategies can unintentionally increase threat in a PDA child’s nervous system rather than reduce it.

Using real examples from my own home, I share how even well-intended questions or suggestions can push a PDA child into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn — and why autonomy and felt safety must come first. We also start to explore why many PDA children hold it together all day and then fall apart at home, and why this isn’t a sign of failure, but of trust and co-regulation.

In this episode, we explore:

• PDA parenting through a nervous-system lens
• Why PDA refusals are not choices or manipulation
• What “equalising” means in PDA autism
• Why safety builds capacity over time

Text me and tell me- What do you want to hear for future episodes?

Support the show

✨ If you’re looking for deeper, personalised PDA parenting support, you can enquire about my limited-space 1:1, 8-week coaching programme at chantalhewitt.com/support.

✨ Download my free guides

Early Signs Guide → CLICK HERE
Calm Parent Checklist → CLICK HERE
PDA Parenting Guide → CLICK HERE

✨ Connect with me on Instagram, TikTok & YouTube @chantal.hewitt

Reach out if you need anything- Say hello, share your story :) → hello@chantalhewitt.com

Chantal x

If parenting feels harder the more strategies you try, this episode gently explains why foundations—not fixes—are what truly support autistic and PDA children long term.

This episode explores attuned parenting foundations for autistic and PDA children.

In this final episode of the Attuned Parenting Foundations series, I’m not introducing anything new — instead, I’m helping you connect the dots.

I walk you through why these foundations matter so deeply when you’re supporting an autistic or PDA child, and why even the most well-intentioned strategies fall apart when nervous systems don’t feel safe.

As I teach it and live it daily to see success, at the heart of attuned parenting are three essential foundations: your wellbeing as the co-regulator, your child’s nervous system and burnout, and the sensory world your child lives in. When one of these is unsupported, everything else becomes harder — for your child, for you, and for your whole family.

This work isn’t about perfection or stopping meltdowns forever. It’s about sustainability. It’s about creating safety, connection before compliance, and capacity over behaviour — so your relationship can grow and stabilise even in a world that isn’t built for neurodivergent children.

I also speak honestly about why parents often know the “why” but struggle in the moment, and why scripts, language, and real-time support matter when you’re already stretched and in survival mode yourself.

If you’re parenting an autistic or PDA child and want support that actually holds you through the hard moments — not just theory — you’re not alone here.

🌱 KEY TAKEAWAYS / SHIFTS

• Strategies don’t work sustainably without nervous system safety
• Parent regulation is foundational, not optional
• Sensory support is essential — not an “extra”
• Connection before compliance builds long-term wellbeing
• Support and language matter most in the moment, not months later

🤍 NEXT STEPS / RESOURCES

If you’d like support putting these foundations into practice, my Attuned Parenting Foundations course is currently free, with 30 days inside the Attuned Parenting Community. You can join via the link in my bio or at chantalhewitt.com/course.

Text me and tell me- What do you want to hear for future episodes?

Support the show

✨ If you’re looking for deeper, personalised PDA parenting support, you can enquire about my limited-space 1:1, 8-week coaching programme at chantalhewitt.com/support.

✨ Download my free guides

Early Signs Guide → CLICK HERE
Calm Parent Checklist → CLICK HERE
PDA Parenting Guide → CLICK HERE

✨ Connect with me on Instagram, TikTok & YouTube @chantal.hewitt

Reach out if you need anything- Say hello, share your story :) → hello@chantalhewitt.com

Chantal x

A connection-first look at sensory load, nervous system safety, and how altering and being aware of our sensory environments drastically affects how we support our PDA and Autistic children.

In this episode of The Attuned Spectrum Podcast, I want to help you understand why sensory environments matter so much more than the behaviour you’re seeing — especially when you’re parenting an autistic or PDA child.

This episode is Part 3 of a 4-part Attuned Parenting Foundations series, where I’m walking you through the core shifts that change everything when you move away from behaviour-based approaches and toward nervous system safety and connection.

In this third part, I focus on sensory environments and why they are often the missing piece. When we focus on behaviour without understanding what a child’s nervous system is processing underneath, we end up feeling stuck, frustrated, and exhausted. Not because we’re doing anything wrong — but because we’ve been looking in the wrong place.

I break down sensory input, sensory load, and sensory output, and explain how these layers quietly build throughout the day before ever showing up as a meltdown, shutdown, or explosion. I also talk about why traditional behaviour strategies don’t work for PDA children, and why PDA is not manipulation or defiance, but a nervous system disability rooted in safety and autonomy.

Using everyday examples — like brushing teeth — I show how sensory experiences and demands can stack up and drain a child’s capacity long before bedtime arrives. Many of the biggest sensory stressors are invisible: background noise, lighting, transitions, masking, and internal sensory demands like hunger or tiredness.

When we begin adjusting environments instead of trying to control behaviour, things start to shift. Not through compliance or power struggles, but through safety, connection, and nervous system support.

If you’d like to explore your child’s sensory profile more deeply, the Attuned Parenting Foundations course is currently free and includes 30 days inside the Attuned Parenting Community.
You can find the link in the show notes or visit chantalhewitt.com/course.

Text me and tell me- What do you want to hear for future episodes?

Support the show

✨ If you’re looking for deeper, personalised PDA parenting support, you can enquire about my limited-space 1:1, 8-week coaching programme at chantalhewitt.com/support.

✨ Download my free guides

Early Signs Guide → CLICK HERE
Calm Parent Checklist → CLICK HERE
PDA Parenting Guide → CLICK HERE

✨ Connect with me on Instagram, TikTok & YouTube @chantal.hewitt

Reach out if you need anything- Say hello, share your story :) → hello@chantalhewitt.com

Chantal x