This week on Bloodline Banter, it’s the recap you all have been waiting for… the seven-day cruise has concluded (much to our dismay) and boy, do we have some stories for y’all.

We talk buffet strategy, the 33,000 eggs the ship went through in one week, and why calories do not count in international waters. Landon explains why he would absolutely clock a grandma to get to a lifeboat if things went south, Riley discusses his close personal relationship with chicken tenders and honey mustard, and we debate whether cruises are actually about the ports or just about eating every two hours. Which we think y’all know the answer to…

As we recount our glory days at sea we share stories from Cozumel taco trucks, an aggressively hands-on shot girl at Señor Frogs, and the mystery of Belize’s off-brand chicken tenders that tasted like they were blended before they were fried.

We also of course could not forget the cruise characters including Debbie, “The Doctor,” Denise from Seize the Day Travel, and a scooter-driving trivia champion named Bazinga who may have been the highlight of the entire ship. Oh and also honestly Theresa Caputo might need to take a gander at our boat for some lingering spirits because Amy Bradley was not necessarily a cruise character we were looking to encounter.

Cousin Counsel returns as well with some unhinged submissions that prove once again that the internet should probably come with a warning label. And for the record, we’d like to state for the 10000th time that we’re cousins. We feel like we shouldn’t have to keep explaining that at this point, but hey some of y’all are dumber than all get out. Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com

If you’ve ever gone on vacation just to eat your body weight in buffet food, chased down a white van for tacos in Mexico, or believed chicken tenders are a universal safe food… this episode is for you.

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Produced and Edited by: The Cast Collective (Nashville, TN)

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