The hags emerge from Thanksgiving, bubbling over with conversations to be had. Kate enjoys the non-hierarchical airline while Jacqueline holds onto the menu at an airport lounge. A company covering your ass is a friend for life. The preferred form of satire? Absolute realism. An unlabeled jar, unmistakably daughter-made. A lifetime of preemptively bracing for every possible misinterpretation. A phone returned, sour tangs, unctuous rigatoni. Is a big meal pre-slumber the obstacle or the remedy?

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It’s top of the mornin’ Poog as the hags encourage eavesdropping at dawn. Jacqueline’s honest answer elicits laughter from a school psychologist. An attic tutor rewards Kate with candy. Cutting out the stain as the only elegant solution. The impossibility of appointments, referrals kept in a clock tower. Blue-blockers secured thanks to a strong relationship with a local optometrist. Mom and Popism, doubling back for a bouquet, a mailman’s doctor’s orders. What is the obvious, brutal, and necessary choice?

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It’s nearing the holidays as the hags absentmindedly podcast. Jacqueline champions the versatility of the couch while Kate confronts her fear of the quick-pickle. The will to leave, moved only by appointment. Healing the brain through the nose. Sunset in the eyes, pasta at room temp, and the elegant simplicity of one jean per hook. Illicitly floating a percussive massager across the masseter. Two friends, silently making a bed together, parachuting the sheets.

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If you ever hear an ad during the show that you suspect shouldn't be there - please immediately let the Berlant & Novak ads team know at podcasts@wearebv.com

While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.

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It’s autumn in Los Angeles and this one’s a real eavesdropper’s delight. Pepper-plumped lips and french vanilla at the gas station. A dream of tandem haircuts where chopped tresses are swept into a single dustpan. Stripped of association, is the long nail attractive? Jacqueline enjoys a ride down a sales funnel. Kate greets a dog and suffers the consequences. A cruel observation about jewelry is recalled. Big tampons, pads galore.

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The hags are back, lying prone in mild Trendelenburg. Jacqueline tests competing wearable devices at once. Kate forces community at The Grove, where leopard abounds. Hens clucking about chair structure? It’s the music of the every day. The hope of a whisper campaign, trusting the ears to guide. Two couples, four Oaxaca bowls. A vat of rosewater, King of the locker room, and extreme temperature sleepers. Are we closest to God right after dinner? Scrambled brands and a false report.

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It’s Headache Poog for the hags as the Advil promise rides again. Jacqueline packs density on half-caff while Kate activates her symptom radar. They discuss the hatred of live wood, unsafely sexualizing the bedpost, and life at The Towers. The etiquette of approaching a seated celebrity with your compliment is to accept the role of trash. A tragic game of “Guess What’s in My Mug?” Rubber bands around the ears, two coyotes across the street. The same spirit, a different way in. Is there an illness on the way or is it simply the injuries of a woman at dinner?

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While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.

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Hello folks. Just Jacqueline, I don't know if you can hear the sound of my Chi Vitalizer Pro Swing, um, or the, uh, top, top tap of my, my coffee, uh, but I'm here to tell you free feeders that this is your reminder. Okay?

Today's the last day to do the big anniversary sale to go premium and not just go premium, but, but, but go Dear Friend Tier at $8 a month, when, as you know, normally it's $10 a month.

Uh, what is the dear friend tier? Well, it's the new frontier for you. What do I mean? Well, I mean, bonus episodes of course. Uh, yes. That's the, it's the tier you need to get them, okay? Sorry.

Uh, 20% off merch, product corner, ad-free, but above all, funding the show. Funding the show and yep. While it's normally $10 a month and will be again tomorrow, today, you can lifetime lock an $8 a month rate.

Look in a few days, some friend of yours, okay? They're gonna try to sign up. You know, they're gonna go, oh, I wanna be a dear friend, and, and it's gonna be $10 a month. And you know, you're not gonna want to tell them, Hey, you got this deal. This is your chance, this is your chance today. So just taking a quick sip. Mm hmm. Yeah, we're making another one. Uh.

So I highly recommend no…I just….I fear for you. I fear the day is gonna pass, and you’re gonna miss this, and you’re gonna be pissed.

And for those who miss this missive, pray for another deal coming soon…and always listen to these last-minute messages, that’s all I have to say.

Are you feeling me, people? Okay guys, I wanna see like 4K listeners sign up today.

Look, I’m gonna be sitting on my couch tonight, and if emails come in and I see free feeders are signing up, I’m gonna be very happy.

It would be a big deal. And uh, the ads don’t pay, okay? The ads don’t pay. We need you over there. Thank you.

Sign up for the Dear Friend Fear. Jesus. Sign up for the Dear Friend Tier, lock it in for life at $8 a month.

berlantnovak.supercast.com

Or go to Instagram and go to the link tree.

berlantnovak.supercast.com.

Yep, you heard me. I’m very serious. Yep. Here comes my coffee.

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If you ever hear an ad during the show that you suspect shouldn't be there - please immediately let the Berlant & Novak ads team know at podcasts@wearebv.com

While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It’s raining in LA—a snow day—and the hags are back to Morning Poog. Jacqueline channels a football coach while Kate recovers from an animal in the floor. They delight at the emerging seasonal offerings, if only for the sake of marking time. A poet shares an affiliate code. More than ordered arrives in a package. The unconscious massage of the sternocleidomastoid. A scheduling bonanza, the two-restaurant experience and splitting a cocktail. Does fear of the blood draw stem from the process or the results?

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Producer: Annie Bernstein

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If you ever hear an ad during the show that you suspect shouldn't be there - please immediately let the Berlant & Novak ads team know at podcasts@wearebv.com

While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.

The ads team greatly appreciates you flagging these ads so they can identify advertisers who are gaming the system.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.