Sometimes gay men believe all kinds of crazy sh*t about our relationships — and ourselves 🤷‍♀️ Let's unpack what's going on here and how we can think about things differently.

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Sources:

[1] https://eu.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2024/01/04/toxic-relationships-often-begin-with-the-spark-go-for-this-instead/71991437007/

[2] https://www.reddit.com/r/AskGaybrosOver30/comments/11o2p3b/anyone_ever_found_their_long_partner_after_40/ (Thanks to all the Reddit users who shared their stories on this post!)

[3] https://econtent.hogrefe.com/doi/abs/10.1027/1016-9040/a000259

In this episode, I wanted to talk about my background as a musician, how I became a coach, and what it all means for me today. Oh, and about the time I played the piano for Ian McKellen.

It’s a window into my unconventional, creative and occasionally wild life, and how it somehow all ties neatly together.

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As gay men, it can feel like sex is the thing we're always supposed to prioritize, even at the expense of our emotional or other needs. But what if there are ways to balance all of our needs in ways that feel fun AND fulfilling?

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Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1

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Sources:

[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/best-practices-in-health/202503/new-evidence-that-were-wired-for-connection

[2] Walt Odets, "Out of the Shadows: The Psychology of Gay Men's Lives" (Penguin, 2019)

Lots of gay men deeply want love and connection. But after years of armoring up, it can be really difficult to let that love in. Let's talk about what's going on here — and what we can do about it.

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Sources:

[1] https://www.science.org/content/article/rejection-pain-brain

[2] https://highline.huffingtonpost.com/articles/en/gay-loneliness/

[3] https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response

[4] https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-does-fight-flight-freeze-fawn-mean

[5] https://www.verywellmind.com/window-of-tolerance-7553021

One of the most important skills in dating is discernment — recognizing how is and isn't a good match for you. In this episode, I break down the three essential things to consider when you're trying to figure out how much romantic potential you have with someone.

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If you're like most gay men, you might have a love-hate relationship with the apps. Or maybe they just aren't for you.

In this episode, we take an unfiltered look at why that is — and exactly what you can do to make more meaningful connections, online or off.

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Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1

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Sources: [1] https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/31/well/mind/burnout-online-dating-apps.html

[2] https://www.thepinknews.com/2019/02/12/lgbt-online-dating-study/

[3] https://www.psypost.org/physical-attractiveness-far-outweighs-other-traits-in-online-dating-success/

[4] https://qz.com/1051462/these-statistics-show-why-its-so-hard-to-be-an-average-man-on-dating-apps, https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a

[5] https://thedecisionlab.com/reference-guide/economics/the-paradox-of-choice

In a world of too many options, it can be hard to connect with what you truly want in your close relationships.

In this week's episode, we explore how to bring more purpose and intention to your dating life — and why it changes everything.

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Why *is* dating so hard for gay and bi men? Well, there are a handful of reasons... but most of them come down to these three fundamentals.

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