Chemistry gets you in. But it doesn't teach you how to stay.

Most people believe if they find the one, happily ever after is automatic. Then reality hits: you're repeating family patterns, don't know how to communicate when triggered, and feel too ashamed to ask for help.

Laurie Handlers, founder of the Extraordinary Lovers program, breaks down what actually makes love last—beyond the initial spark.

In this episode:

• The three challenges keeping couples stuck (naive expectations, zero skills, shame)
• How to stop outsourcing your pleasure and learn what you actually want
• Why your "picker" chooses familiar trauma instead of aligned values—and how to refine it
• Communication rituals for truth-telling and confrontation
• The gender dynamics no one talks about honestly (and the cosmic joke of biological differences)
• What it takes to keep relationships juicy for a lifetime

This is the relationship education you didn't get—covering self-love practices, love of partner, and partnership that manifests something beyond yourselves.

WANT TO TRY IT?

Start here:

1. Ask yourself: What do I want my partner to do for me that I'm unwilling to do for myself? (Witness you? Hear you? Celebrate you?) Now do that for yourself first.
2. Notice your automatic reactions this week. When you react strongly, pause and ask: "Am I responding to them, or to my mother/father/sibling?"
3. Ask the hard questions: What do I want in my life? What am I willing to do to have it? How honest am I willing to be?

ABOUT LAURIE HANDLERS:

Laurie Handlers is the author of the international bestseller Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy and creator of the Extraordinary Lovers Program. She has been teaching transformational workshops on sexuality, intimacy, and relationships since 1978, impacting tens of thousands of lives.

To Laurie, sexuality is the portal to healing and connects us to our creative life force. As a speaker and facilitator, she has taught on topics ranging from releasing past emotional trauma to Tantra (expansion through awareness). Together with her partner, she offers relationship coaching and workshops on how to be in extraordinary love.

Connect with Laurie:

Website: www.lauriehandlers.com

Instagram: @laurie.handlers

Connect with us:

• Instagram: @gardenofbecomingpodcast
• Email: hello@gardenofbecoming.com

Review and Share: If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review to help others find this show, and share it with a couple who needs to hear this or someone navigating relationship challenges.

New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe and follow for conversations that go beneath the surface.