This week, we’re talking lighting choices—specifically, our lifelong refusal to turn on the Big Light. Because honestly, if we’re not living in Phantom-of-the-Opera, early-2000s-fangirl mood lighting at all times… what are we even doing? We’ve been on the dramatic-theatrical-candelabra train for decades, and the rest of you are just now catching up.

Then we dive into Jingle Bell Heist, which is basically Ocean’s 11 if it took place inside a TJ Maxx, was run by Hallmark, and everyone’s weapon of choice was holiday decor and sass.

And for the benefit of the week? We’re building the ultimate vision board—Pinterest-level aesthetic, quotes that punch you in the soul, a sprinkling of star-shaped confetti, and a thrift-store frame to finish it off. Because if your hopes and dreams aren’t lightly bedazzled, do they even count?

This week, we kick things off with the wild ride that is dating—and honestly, we need answers. Men… why? Just why. From red flags to walking ick-factories, we break down the moments that made us laugh, cringe, and question everything.

Then we take a hard left turn straight into Holiday Horror Stories, and oh boy… buckle up. There’s the nude Thanksgiving where someone’s boob took a tragic dip into the gravy (and yes, there were burns), and the uncle who got way too committed to charades—think shirt off, pants at the ankles, and a very enthusiastic shout of “STRIPPER!”

And of course, we wrap it all up with a Benefit—a Pinterest quote that hits right in the soul: “Had I not created my whole world, I would certainly have died in other people’s.”

It’s chaotic, it’s unhinged, it’s heartfelt… it’s everything.

This week we’re diving headfirst into pure nostalgia as we unpack the best holiday traditions from the ’90s—the ones that still give us all the warm fuzzies—as well as the traditions we’re totally fine leaving in the past (looking at you, tinsel explosions and questionable fruitcakes).

Then we slide into a chat about Single All the Way, the delightfully cozy rom-com where best friends fake a relationship for the holidays… until feelings get a little too real. It’s charming, sweet, and basically the cinematic equivalent of a warm Christmas sweater.

And to wrap things up, Jess brings a festive Benefit of the Week: Dutch Bros’ holiday Peppermint Mocha Cold Brew topped with their signature soft top and peppermint sprinkles. The drink is amazing on its own, but those sprinkles? They make it feel like a tiny holiday celebration in every sip.