The holidays can turn magical…

…or messy! This is especially true when two households, multiple calendars, and big expectations collide.

You want peace, memories, and connection; the problem is last-minute schedule changes, mixed emotions, and the pressure to please everyone.

We’ve been there. In this conversation, we'll offer practical guidance with a simple plan: five respectful negotiation tips for working with the other home and a kid-centered framework to navigate disappointment when plans don’t line up.

This year, choose to take a proactive approach so that you can lower tension, avoid drama, and model resilience. The stakes are high. Painful interactions, confusion, guilt, and your kid's sense of stability are all on the line.

What does success look like? A calmer season where your family can experience peace and memorable moments, even when things aren't “perfect".

You'll Discover:

• Five negotiation tips for co-parenting that lead to better opportunities for healthy cooperation.
• Why predictability matters for kids moving between homes, and how early, respectful communication increases collaboration and peace.
• How to prevent heartbreak by finalizing plans with the other home before sharing exciting news with children.
• The "Five A's" framework for helping kids manage disappointment
• A mindset reframe: missed activities and events aren’t failed parenting, they’re an opportunity to build emotional resilience and solid character.

Resources from this Episode:

• Episode 67. The Best Co-Parenting Strategy That You Already Know
• Episode 222. Step-by-Step Guide: Facing Painful Pushback Without Making Things Worse (Part 1 of 2)
• Episode 33. How to Cope with a Difficult Ex and Protect Your Ex
• Episode 112. 3 Dangerous Dynamics That Can Destroy Co-Parenting - And Hurt The Kids
• Episode 113. How to Respond When Being Disregarded, Devalued or Dismissed by Your Former Spouse
• Episode 188. Basics for Blending: How to Tolerate and Manage Discomfort and Distress (Part 2 of 2)

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

You’re the parent, or stepparent, who wants less conflict and more connection. But a child’s resistance, sarcasm, isolation, or hurtful words, such as: “you’re not my dad,” can derail plans and result in hurtful interactions.

We’ve been there.

In part 2 of this mini-series, you'll discover how to respond well in tough moments of pushback by using John Gottman’s 5 steps of Emotion Coaching. You’ll hear us role-play around real-life pushback when a child is competing for a parent's love, making accusations and threats, and behaving oppositionally toward a stepparent.

We'll offer a better way to manage those moments with words that help kids feel seen, heard, and understood. We'll also show you the best approach for addressing poor behavior and setting boundaries.

The plan is simple: notice the emotion, treat it as an opportunity, listen and validate, help label feelings, then set limits while exploring solutions. Practice this, and you’ll be surprised at how you can lower the tension, build relational safety, and strengthen your connection with a struggling child.

When pushback hits, it is possible to move away from reacting in ways that don't help and instead, create an atmosphere of mutual trust, respect, and real connection in your home.

You'll Discover:

• The 5 Emotion Coaching steps from John Gottman (with wording you can steal) and why each step matters.
• How to decode what’s going on underneath pushback and respond in a way that helps your child move through pain, loss, anger, sadness, and confusion.
• When and how to set behavioral boundaries so that kids are more open to receiving and responding well.
• A simple script for stepparents to defuse “You’re not my dad/mom” moments while building mutual respect and understanding.
• When and how to engage in problem-solving with your child and foster real buy-in, confidence, and trust.

Resources from this Episode:

• Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by Dr. John Gottman
• Episode 222. Step-by-Step Guide: Facing Painful Pushback Without Making Things Worse [Part 1]
• Episode 194. Powerful Tips for Effectively Connecting with Your Angry or Distant Child [with Dr. Amy J.L. Baker]
• Episode 195. Connecting with Kim's HARD Child - Facing the Challenges of Parental Alienation
• Episode 210. Is Your Child Pulling Away? Here's How to Respond with Wisdom and Love
• Episode 211. 8 Warning Signs Your Ex is Manipulating Your Child's Heart and Mind
• Episode 92. At a loss and feeling defeated because the kids stubbornly refuse to blend?
• Episode 132. How do loss and grief impact blended family integration?
• Episode 189. Bringing Hope to the Realities of Grief: A Path to Understanding and Healing [with Krista St-Germain]

Ready for some extra support? Schedule your free coaching call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

We know that pushback moments can sting. Eye rolls, refusals, accusations, or shutting down are all things kids in blended families can tend to do. It’s easy for parents and stepparents to appease, minimize, deflect, control, try to 'fix-it' or simply avoid pushback (we’ve done it too).

In this two-part series, we act as your guides and name the real struggle beneath kids' hurtful behavior: loss, grief, and fear that come with blending. Then we introduce a clear plan: Emotion Coaching.

You’ll hear real-life scenarios, why common reactions backfire, and what to do instead to help your child feel seen and supported. The win? A calmer home, stronger bonds, and practical steps forward.

The risk of doing nothing? Escalating conflict, shutdown, resentment, and power struggles. If you’re ready to respond to your child's pushback with calm, clarity, and care, this conversation is for you.

You'll Discover:

• The four common Pushback Predicaments: competing for love, accusations/threats, oppositional attitude, and loss & grief. And what’s really going on underneath.
• Why appeasing, minimizing, deflecting, defending, controlling, or avoiding often makes things worse, and what kids hear when we react in those ways.
• How Emotion Coaching helps kids identify and name big feelings, regulate their emotions, and become receptive to changing their behavior. Plus, the blended-family benefits (safety, trust, and respect).
• A simple reflection challenge to build awareness around your typical reaction patterns and your child’s reactions to your reactions, so that you can choose a better way to respond next time.

Continued Learning on this Topic:

• Episode 154. What practical and emotional shifts can you expect as you blend your family?
• Episode 213. Discover How to Better Understand and Connect with Children of Divorce [with Lauren Reitsema]
• Episode 159. How to Stay Hopeful as a Stepparent When You're Continually Rejected and Hurt
• Episode 37. Why do kids struggle to accept their stepparent?
• Episode 039. How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Stepkids

Ready for some extra support

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!