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Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

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 Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.© Copyright © 2002-2025 PodcastOne.com. All rights reserved.
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  • 164 - It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like HOA Violations

    164 - It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like HOA Violations
    Dec 17 2025

    In our final episode of the year we’ve got some big surprises. Counselor Zachariah finds out his mom has a secret half-brother! Speaking of brotherly love, we also get into our love for the Jonas Brothers Christmas movie, judge some truly unwell neighbor holiday decor, and make an important announcement: we’re taking a short break from the podcast, but we’ll be back in the new year. Plus, we get into a James Bond jewel thief, and Quinta Brunson’s field trip fund. Obviously we have to wrap up the year with some ranting and question why skydivers are scattering ashes… in the sky? Also what the even heck is up with the GPS screaming directions at full volume while we are posing at a public rest stop?? And of course, we end on the important stuff: ribbon candy love, baking timelapse obsession, and a couple songs to carry you into the season.

    Your civic duty as campers begins now: vote in the Nunu Nana Awards at CampCounselorsPodcast.com/vote! Winners announced in the 2nd annual Nunu Nana Award Ceremony on January 14, 2026.

    This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

    Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

    Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

    Sponsors:

    ➜ For a limited time, get $35 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frame (Wirecutter’s #1 pick) at AuraFrames.com with promo code: CAMP

    ➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

    ➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 25% off sitewide! Exclusions apply. See site for details.

    Works Cited:

    ➜ Corlett, Eva. “Man Charged with Theft after Allegedly Swallowing Fabergé Pendant in Jewellery Store.” The Guardian, 2 Dec. 2025.

    ➜ Gonzalez, Alex. “Quinta Brunson Launches ‘Field Trip Fund’ For Philadelphia Schools.” Complex, 5 Dec. 2025.

    Camp Songs:

    Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

    Social Media:

    • Camp Counselors TikTok
    • Camp Counselors Instagram
    • Camp Counselors Facebook
    • Camp Counselors Twitter

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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    1 h et 6 min
  • HELP! My Son Won't Stop Having Loud Sex in My House! - Trail Mix #114

    HELP! My Son Won't Stop Having Loud Sex in My House! - Trail Mix #114
    Dec 15 2025

    In this mini episode, we’ve got another batch of listener-submitted stories. First up, one camper needs help addressing an uncomfortable situation with her stepson's very loud very gay late night wrestling. Then we take it to Pittsburgh, where a summer school van run turns into a literal cliffhanger. And finally, we enter the realm of spiritual warfare: a teen gets dragged to a priest for an exorcism.

    Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

    Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

    SPONSORS

    ➜ Start making progress with your money today. Open an account in minutes at Chime.com/CAMP

    Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

    Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

    Social Media:

    • Camp Counselors TikTok
    • Camp Counselors Instagram
    • Camp Counselors Facebook
    • Camp Counselors Twitter

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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    25 min
  • 163 - Gift Guide for the Friend Who’s Doing Too Much

    163 - Gift Guide for the Friend Who’s Doing Too Much
    Dec 10 2025
    This week at Camp Shady Birch, we’re unwrapping the worst part of the holidays: truly unhinged gift guides and the chaos of simply being alive in December! Counselor Zachariah kicks things off with a parking violation saga for the ages after he found a bright orange sticker slapped on his perfectly legal parked car and immediately took to the internet to publicly drag the culprit. Festive! Counselor Jonathan dives into the wild story of a magician who implanted an RFID chip in his hand for magic tricks and then forgot the password to his own hand. It's giving tech anxiety. Also, a new study about how urban raccoons are literally evolving shorter snouts and showing early signs of domestication just from living in our cities and eating our garbage. We love new housemates!! They should pay rent lol! We've got the annual curse of dry cracked knuckles, terrible holiday gift guides, undying love for gingerbread men and why they’ve finally (rightfully!!) become the face of the holiday season this year, and so much more!This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ For a limited time, get $35 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frame (Wirecutter’s #1 pick) at AuraFrames.com with promo code: CAMP➜ Score deals like up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselors➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.➜ Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/2daxxo2x As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Works Cited:➜ Pring, Joe. “Magician ‘Forgot the Password’ to His Own Hand after Locking Himself Out of Implanted RFID Chip.” Dexerto, 22 Nov. 2025.➜ Hill, Marta. “Urban Raccoons Are Showing Signs of Early Domestication, With Shorter Snouts Than Their Rural Cousins.” Smithsonian Magazine, 21 Nov. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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    1 h et 3 min
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