What does it take to lead with both warmth and competence in one of the most demanding roles in public service?

In this deeply personal conversation, Senior Minister of State Sun Xueling opens up about her journey from investment banker at Deutsche Bank to Temasek to becoming one of Singapore's most beloved politicians.

We explore her unique leadership style that combines rigorous data analysis with genuine empathy, her experience thriving in male-dominated environments from Deutsche Bank to Parliament, and the honest realities of being a working mother who juggles elder care, two young daughters, and the demands of public service.

This conversation goes beyond politics into the psychology of identity, the concept of "ghost ships" (the lives we didn't choose), and why she spends her Sundays reading children's books to help both kids and adults discover their worthiness.

If you've ever struggled with FOMO, mother's guilt, or finding your authentic leadership voice in spaces that weren't designed for you, this episode is a masterclass.

Resources mentioned:

• Prof Martin Seligman’s PERMA Model of Wellbeing - Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Accomplishment - ⁠https://positivepsychology.com/perma-model/⁠
• Writer Cheryl Strayed’s essay on Ghost ships

⁠https://cherylstrayed.substack.com/p/the-beauty-of-what-is⁠

Follow SMS Sun Xueling on IG at: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/sun.xueling/

The festive season can be Overachiever hell! In this episode, Crystal shares her therapist-office breakdown and the 7 changes she made this year to stop being the "complaints department for the whole world." This isn't a prescriptive playbook—it's permission to choose what actually works for you.

KEY TIMESTAMPS:

[00:00] Cold open: "I feel like the complaints department for the entire world" [02:00] Why the festive season is a mental health hazard for overachievers [05:30] The therapist conversation that changed everything [08:45] "You're treating everyone like you're their line manager" [12:00] Change #1: Outsourcing the cooking (hello, private chef!) [16:30] Change #2: The Christmas Day shopping trip tradition [19:00] Change #3: Renting the Christmas tree [21:30] Change #4: The "no gifts" conversation with extended family [24:00] Change #5: Pre-briefing family like a CEO [28:00] Change #6: Disconnecting the wiring behind your buttons [32:00] Change #7: Resourcing yourself (sleep, self-care, massages!) [36:00] The invitation: You get to choose

QUOTABLE MOMENTS:

"The more you do, the more you get. You've trained everyone that you're the go-to person."

"You're treating everyone like you're their line manager. You're taking responsibility for outcomes that aren't yours to own."

"You can participate without orchestrating. You can show up without sacrificing yourself."

"Family will always push all your buttons. They know which combination activates the nuclear sequence. But you are the one who can disconnect the wiring behind the buttons."

"The festive season doesn't get to steal your sanity. Not this year."

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Chef Danny Tan – Private chef for festive gatherings (Christmas, CNY, and more) Instagram: ⁠@craftandfood⁠

"Failing is an option but fear is not!" Christel Quek Buchanan is the founder of one of SG's hottest startups - ChatandBuild, a AI super-app that has signed an MOU with OpenAI, and empowers anyone to build apps and games just by chatting.

Christel is one of the most innovative, humble and intelligent friends I have, and I'm so happy to have her share her super interesting career with us.

She shares stories from the Twitter early days, meeting Elon Musk, choosing curiosity over fear, and the essential ingredients for anyone who is interested in the path of entrepreneurship.

Check out ChatandBuild and build your own app instantly for free!

⁠https://chatandbuild.com/