When Patrick Kitana Ettenes bluntly told his father "I suck dick, daddy" at 15 years old, it marked just one turning point in a life brimming with extraordinary challenges and triumphs. Born in Barbados in 1983 to a Dutch father and Trinidadian mother, Patrick's childhood was a paradox of privilege and pain—his father's high-profile security work with prime ministers and diplomats couldn't shield him from relentless bullying due to his feminine expression.

Patrick's shocking classroom experiences included teacher-orchestrated "games" where students chased and attacked him, leaving him with bruises and scratches his mother eventually noticed. Despite this trauma, he emerged with an indomitable spirit, eventually leaving Barbados for Cuba on a psychology scholarship at just 15, before settling in Manchester, UK, where he finally found community and acceptance.

But life in England wasn't the paradise he hoped for. Patrick survived an abusive relationship that left him homeless, battled substance abuse, contracted HIV, and was diagnosed with early onset dementia in his early thirties. Yet rather than succumbing to these challenges, he transformed them into fuel for activism. Finding no support groups for LGBTQ+ people with dementia, he created them himself, launching the "Bring Dementia Out" initiative with the Alzheimer's Society.

Patrick's identity journey is equally compelling—identifying as non-binary and sometimes presenting as female at conferences, he embraces both sides of himself while rejecting the pressure to undergo gender confirmation surgery after learning it might affect his sexual pleasure. His perspective on dementia is particularly remarkable, describing how as his brain degenerates, his empathy and intuition have heightened, giving him what he calls a "superpower" to help others.

Have you encountered someone whose resilience fundamentally changed how you view adversity? this extraordinary conversation that will challenge your perspectives on sexuality, gender, disability and the transformative power of turning personal trauma into community advocacy.

Read more about Patrick's work and diagnosis here

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production

What happens when you've spent nearly seven decades hiding your true self? Wendy Cole's story is a testament to courage, resilience, and the transformative power of authenticity.

Born in the late 1940s, Wendy knew from age three that she was a girl, despite being assigned male at birth. At ten years old, she bravely dressed in her mother's clothes and declared her truth—only to face threats of psychiatric commitment in 1950s America. Her journey took another painful turn in the 1970s when a psychiatrist called her a "freak" during her second attempt to transition, forcing her back into the closet with what she describes as "padlocks on the inside."

For the next 45 years, Wendy lived a life of quiet desperation—marrying, raising children, and building a successful tech career while suppressing her identity through marijuana and psychiatric medications. By 2014, at age 67, she had reached breaking point and was contemplating suicide.

Then everything changed. Discovering that medical understanding had evolved and treatment was now available, Wendy finally began her transition in 2015. The transformation was profound—not just emotionally, but physically. She lost 70 pounds, reversed her type 2 diabetes, and found a joy she never thought possible. "Transition saved my life," she tells us simply.

Today, Wendy works as a transition mentor, helping others navigate major life changes with her hard-won wisdom. Through her coaching, upcoming books, and podcast "Demystifying the Transgender Journey," she's dedicated to humanizing the transgender experience for the wider world.

Her message resonates far beyond the transgender community: "You're never too old to be yourself" and "The joy you'll find on the other side is something you never dreamed possible." Wendy's extraordinary journey proves that authenticity is worth fighting for—no matter how long the wait.

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production

Welcome back to Coming Out Stories after our six-month hiatus! As our seventh year begins, there have been moments when giving up seemed tempting. But looking at the increasingly hostile world around us, it's clear that now is precisely the time these stories need to be heard.

Season Six arrives during a critical period for LGBTQ+ communities worldwide. Here in the UK, the Supreme Court recently ruled that gender is defined by biological sex rather than gender identity, effectively undermining transgender existence and eroding hard-won equal rights. The FA has implemented a ban preventing trans women from playing in sanctioned football matches. Across the Atlantic, similar rollbacks of protections continue. These aren't merely political developments—they represent genuine threats to individuals who already face intense shame, hatred, and bigotry.

Our upcoming episodes feature a remarkable collection of voices that capture the full spectrum of the coming out experience. You'll hear from a trans woman describing the euphoria of finally seeing herself in the mirror, a person whose coming out was delayed by years after a mother's casual homophobic comment, someone whose gay awakening came through representation in "Queer as Folk," and many more. Our first episode features Wendy, who attempted to transition in the 1970s but would then wait another 45 years to finally become the woman she is today. Her powerful conversation with her wife from 1978 reveals the personal challenges faced by trans individuals across generations.

Follow us on Spotify or your preferred podcast platform, and please consider giving us a five-star rating to help others find these vital stories. Connect with us on Facebook and Instagram at Coming Out Stories Pod for updates and additional content. Share these stories—they might just save someone's life.

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production